No Questions, Forgotten Names
by pixiecullen
Summary: How did he get there so fast? I raked his horrified face, looking at the dead men on the floor. I raised the gun again. I didn’t know what to do. The adrenaline was seeping away, confronted with the impossible situation before me. Shooting Edward. AH
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_**How did he get there so fast? I raked his horrified face, looking at the dead men on the floor. I raised the gun again. I didn't know what to do. The adrenaline was seeping away, confronted with the impossible situation before me. Shooting Edward. AH**_

***THIS STORY IS AN M DUE TO VIOLENCE LATER WHICH I HAVE MADE PERFECTLY POSSIBLE TO AVOID. PERFECTLY FINE FOR T READERS AND I DO NOT PLAN TO PUT IN ANY LEMONS***

**This is the most insane stuff I've written lol. If you've read my other stuff (please do) its a lot more sane. The summary doesn't really do the ideas here justice- the whole chapter explains the ideas. Which sadly means its a bit of a long winded waffley chapter. Feel free to skip this chapter and read the next one first to get a gist of it. I know that's weird, but iv done it before with a story with an uncompromising first chapter and I went back to the first one after i knew where the story was going, and I didn't regret giving it a second chance. Please bear with me, I know its weird, but its worth the time it takes to understand the ideas. Hopefully ul have a gist of it by the end. You won't regret reading it- promise.**

Finally the day of meeting. So much preparation and waiting… my life's work.

And I was only 18 years old.

Born for negotiation, politics and tactics nailed into me from the cradle. A political experiment.

I was born daughter of Aro Swan- chief of the organisation the Volturi. Famous in whispers across Italy for organised crime. But that's all they are to the public- a whisper. Because beyond that whisper, you're in and say any more and you are plunged into a dark world.

My world. I was born breathing the air of distrust and deceit. For people who learn anything about us, their family, homes, bank accounts and jobs are suddenly under our control. People keep their heads down. Occasionally an amateur tells the police but that shows how little they know. You don't contact the police. Those people lose relatives, contacts and jobs immediately.

The police fear us too. Almost all of individual police members either don't ask about us or are inside the desolate world. Trying to do anything about us and they find themselves with a quickly delivered bullet inside their brain. Names forgotten quickly, no questions asked.

And I lived at the centre of this. I was taught about the insignificance of human life as a child in nursery is taught about Genesis. My father has never shown affection- I only learned the meaning of the word when I was twelve. I only realised what I had missed in my childhood when I had come across a book I shouldn't have- a child's book. For children. About family and love and friends. It was alien to me and halfway through the story I found myself so alienated by the book- I couldn't understand it at all- that I stopped reading it and burned it. Books like that are hidden for a reason.

I live in one of my father's houses- I suppose they could be called mansions but only because they are much deeper than they appear- there are no gardens. I move around constantly- threat of kidnap and bombings are always immanent.

Because of them. The Cullen Clan. The most complex organisation in our field. Pulling in people with the same ruthless terrorisation and threats that we use for organised crime, and people disappear rather then actual recorded bodies. Somehow they claim they have morals, and we are almost 100% certain that means they are based by the Italian government. They were essentially a family organisation, I think.

That's what makes us so different. The crucial difference- they have family. Their people have bonds and trust and work together as a family. When Volturi works together, everyone for himself. No catching bullets for anyone else- no romantic crap. I've been lucky, I've always been brought up to think like that. Some soft hearts who cry at death, at brutality -people just initiated- they go mad sometimes, it affects them deeply. I've always understood the way Volturi works. Everyone in for himself- if you have family, bonds, trust, love, you will never succeed. Anything people can use against you- they will. Even in your own organisation, your own colleagues will kill your family to control you. No-one may never even find out who killed them except you- whose business is it?

Everyone for himself. Except for me. I even less choice than the people kidnapped at midnight with bullets inside their loved ones. I was born into it- born for it. Every word said to me was designed to shape me- create me. The ultimate mastermind for Volturi. I can see bonds between people- I can see levels of superiority by watching body language in a room. I can tell the intelligent, I can tell why people are in the organisation, I can tell who counts.

Yet I was ultimately made for negotiation. Negotiation with the Cullen Clan. I know more about them than I know about my organisation. Or _should_ know about my organisation- I know more than people think. Did I mention every man for himself? There are so many things about Volturi that are meant to be kept from me- things people imagine I don't know- hope I don't know. Why? If I'm created for the organisation, shouldn't I know everything? No. I should know as little as possible- because of the negotiation.

I am going to be the first person in Volturi to speak for the Volturi to the Cullen Clan.

This project has been planned for 18 years. A child- born for the negotiation with another organisation. If her family is planned so she doesn't have one, if she loves no one- doesn't even know how- how can she have anything to lose? What threats can they use against her? She doesn't have fear. My parents gave me strength and fearlessness- I have no childish fears. I have the urge of survival- but that's it. I do not care about anyone. I have no fear. I have nothing to lose. So the main weapon of the organized crime organisations is lost- fear. I don't live for anything so I am not even scared of death. Only the basic instinctive human will to live keeps me here. And intrigue.

The only and most deadly mission in my life- probably the last if truth be guessed. That's what I live for if anything. But no-one knows. I shall most likely die then or after- so what should I lose? Why should no-one send me there?

So I was born in a cold-hearted world for negotiation with another cold-hearted world. My organisation have nothing to lose with me- I have nothing to lose from my organisation. Why shouldn't I be used?

You're probably wondering what I have to negotiate. It was my mother's idea. She was not a lover of Aro's- they were often competing with each other for dominance. I know they both tried to kill each other with discreet snipers and stalkers. But they knew each others minds too well- they never managed. Not because of acquaintance or friendship, but they were so similar they could recognise every thought in the other's head as their own. My mother wanted to speak to the Cullen Clan.

She wanted to know if the organisations were so far apart, so competitive, so vengeful, so similar and hated each other so much- couldn't they join together? She saw the power and recognised the masterminds in the plans she saw them undertake. She ventured into the impossible- merge. She knew it was close to impossible- her favourite type of plan. So she created a plan beyond the possible- children born for negotiation.

She wanted a child like her. I'm not sure why- I think she wanted something as intelligent as her. Something that could talk to them with the intelligence, flair and fight that she could. She wanted herself to be there.

She pitched the idea as if it was already going to happen- and so it did. I think it must have been a way of hers, she could just say what she thought would happen with such conviction that it did. She must have also had some kind of physical attractiveness that she used over people. I wouldn't know. I'd never been shown a photo of her. It could create sentimental feelings. And it's not certain whether she's dead. I can't have attachments to anyone- let alone someone who could be alive.

Aro seemed the natural mate. I think it was decided silently- I can't imagine either of them would have admitted that they were the ideal pairing. So they slept together for a while. I don't know what happened much after that- no-one has ever dared to tell me. So I can only imagine the worst happened- they developed a bond to each other. That would explain her disappearance. Shortly after my birth. I don't know whether it was Aro- to remove his only weakness, or the Cullen Clan- to use his only weakness. It's only guessing, but I'm usually right.

She told the Cullen Clan somehow about her ideas for communication- she told them about her ideas about me talking to one of them. She said about my birth- and that negotiation would happen when I was eighteen. And very surprisingly- they produced a twin plan. They made a child. The Cullen child. One who knew as much as I did, was going to talk to me in the Cullen Clan interests as I would speak in the Volturi's.

I couldn't wait. The planning, the information, the back-up, the security, the words, the conversation- even the wit- was taught to me through countless lessons. I had been through many rehearsals, many scenarios. I knew how it could end up. I'd even be prepared for some of the outcomes practically. I'd been told that I may be succumbed to torture if I was kidnapped somehow, before or after the negotiation. So I was tortured by my own team. To prepare me. It was horrible at first. The worst months of my life. Then someone taught me how to cope with it mentally. How to think of it. And I was succumbed to it so much I found I could. I prepared myself for it, shielded my mind for it. Eventually I could be put through various, incredible tortures, without seeming to suffer discomfort. Of course I was, but no-one even knew. They thought I couldn't feel pain any more. But the shield was only for other people. They couldn't hear my pain. I could. But once I got to the silent stage, they stopped.

Of course, I still have scars. And I see them everyday. I dress myself to parade them- show what I could endure. There was nothing I was prouder of than the cuts, incisions, burns, surgery, stings, bites, ripped skin, stretched skin, broken bones and deformities. My body was incredible and I loved every scar that defined me. I could remember every day. I could remember my mental struggle and eventually my victory. I could remember my thoughts through every horrendous event.

The torture was also part of my training against people. I did not know one person who had not personally put me on a rack, set fire to me, cut inside me, snap bones… Whenever I saw anyone around me I remembered when they had tortured me. And I was sure, every time someone saw me they remembered how I looked when they caused me pain. Sometimes their sickened expressions made me smile.

But enough about my history, huh? You, like me, will be waiting for me to finally meet the only person in history like me. Do the job I was born to do.

This was the day.

**If you've read this, review. Please... I know it's insane, but it takes a really good direction and it is worth reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Woken at five for make up and hair doesn't make me smile. My hair went static, which didn't help, then I had to be dressed. I wasn't allowed to carry a weapon- because that way me and the Cullen kid wouldn't spend the time shooting each other, there was going to be a security check for us to pass through. I wasn't even allowed to wear a bullet-proof vest into the room. The room would be full of mirrors, with our parties on the other side, recording us, discussing us. And our side would be able to talk to us with earpieces, recommending what to say. Aro would be watching and advising miles away.

It was taking place in a backstreet in the main city. One of those streets you could pass every day and never wonder about, never remember. So was the building. It was opposite a run-down cinema that looked like it was closed two centuries ago. A car (flocked by a couple of motorbikes, like ours) pulled up at exactly the same moment. I was taken out, with a hood covering my hair and face from cameras sure to be around. The people around me I had all seen before, but no-one I knew particularly well. They led me to a door and pulled me through it. Then the security began.

Though I curse with annoyance at remembering, and I doubt you want to hear, I shall describe shortly the huge deal the security was. You think airports are bad? Try this place. I was shoved in a cubicle and told to strip naked, then given a towel and escorted the short distance to a shower, given new clothes and then scanned for radioactivity and alien liquids in my blood. Somehow my make-up had survived all this, though my hair was looking a lot worse. Then I had to sit and wait, looking at someone I had never seen before- rare for me- while I waited for my staff to go through the showering process.

After another hour, I was faced with the door that would open into my destiny. I had no notes- why should I need them? I'd been memorizing the dialogue for years. Just the earpiece that would connect me to the Volturi. I was told their would be guards outside the doors, able to see through the glass windows in the doors but there would just be me and the Cullen child in the room.

Then I heard it.

"It's time. Enter." The door was opened by the guard, and I walked in. The door clicked shut at the same time as one on the opposite side of the room. As expected, the room had mirrors either end- on the same walls with the doors we had just entered through. The other two walls were white- a neutral colour. So was the carpet and the ceiling and, as expected, the room had a sterilized feel, like a hospital. I had seen the plans and impressions of this room many times in the last six weeks. There was nothing to surprise me.

Except the person walking through the door on the other side.

It was a man. Well, I knew there was a chance, I had just not considered the gender of my… nemesis? Destiny? Twin? The only other being with a life that at all resembled mine. We were built to anticipate each other our whole lives, yet I was still surprised he was male.

Dressed in neutral white clothes like mine, he was very pale like his attire yet… he didn't look sickly. He looked very… he looked just like I'd been told to look. I hoped I was having the same effect. We walked to the middle of the room, to a long table that separated us. It actually literally did- it was attached to the walls. I wondered if I should shake his hand- I had been told that probably wasn't a good idea. Basically, I wasn't to do it. But I felt some kind of connection with him. Just because of the anticipation of him. And his similarity to me. I could tell he was similar to me without hearing him talk yet. I rested my hand on the table, trying to decide whether to shake hands. I saw he had actually done the same and I laughed mentally, not allowing my amusement to show. I dismissed the idea of shaking hands and sat down. He did the same.

I leaned back and looked at him. I found he was doing exactly the same. He looked very comfortable, very confident. He was assessing me, sizing me up. Watching the way I was sitting, the way I looked at him, what I was trying to see in him. In short, exactly what I was doing to him.

Finally I allowed myself to look at his features. Assess whether I thought he was attractive. I had never thought someone attractive. Never had any kind of relationship, obviously, so why should I ever look at someone's features? But this was the person I had wondered about for so long… I had to see.

What I saw shocked me. His hair was brown, yet it was red, but not ginger. And it was very shiny, and somehow that defined the colour. Bronze. That was it- it was bronze. Unlike any other hair I had ever seen. It fitted, because I rarely saw any new people. I rarely saw anyone who had never tortured me. I saw his eyes move up my exposed arms, my exposed neck. He was checking out my scars. I smiled tightly, and a bit wider when I noticed that he had none. No-one had prepared him for torture. He hadn't felt the pain I had. He'd probably got relationships and friends and family.

I was spotting weaknesses already. But I was also finding my own. I hated it, but I recognised them as soon as I did them. Looking at his appearance, I was restraining the very thoughts, but I knew somehow, thoughtlessly… that I was finding his appearance attractive.

And I liked the way his personality already came out- the way he surveyed me, it was like a competitor might assess an opponent. The way he sat in the chair- self controlled, self assured, confident. It gave me confidence. I would not be disappointed in our conversations.

His pale arms were muscular and tight- I imagined he was trained in self-defence, combat and fighting. As I was. His fingers were thin and long, somehow different to what I'd expected. Delicate. I almost smiled again. I found myself looking at his hair again, slightly wet from the shower, messily arranged. I studied his face and, like I expected, it was attractive. Cheekbones brushed his features out delicately, yet his strong jaw balanced it out, the way his fingers suited his arms.

Then I saw his eyes.

They looked at mine the moment I looked at his, and I thought I saw my surprise mirrored in them for a moment- but in his face. As I swallowed my surprise, apparently so did he. I carried on looking into his eyes- because they were beautiful. I'd never used that word before. In thoughts, let alone words. But I knew that if anything was beautiful, this Cullen's eyes were.

They were green, but they were like crystals, with different shades and moods glinting out of them. They called out to me and I almost gasped in wonder. The depth in them was extraordinary.

But it was just the colour in them. Bright colours are attractive. And attractive eyes were surprising. But in no way was it possible that I would get distracted, think him attractive. It was irrelevant to me. I was not born for relationships, so finding someone didn't matter at all.

And he wasn't attractive enough to distract me. I shifted in my chair, sitting straighter, indicating that the assessing period was over and we would now begin to talk. Taking control. But he continued to look at my eyes, his head leaning back on the chair lazily. He smiled, and I set my jaw. He wasn't responding. So I drew a breath.

"Good morning. I am Bella." The name was agreed two years ago for the meeting. I'd never been called it. If someone referred to me, they produced their own label- the child, the girl, the daughter, Swan, whatever. Names weren't good in our lives. I only knew Aro's.

"Good morning, Bella. I am Edward." Quite an old name, I thought. I noticed his voice was like velvet, slippery and smooth. Not to be trusted. But I trusted nothing anyway.

"I represent the Volturi, and I am going to speak on their behalf about the potential our two organisations have together. We shall not speak outside this room, and everything we say is recorded by both our organisations. Further meetings shall take place in the next few weeks, the location decided an hour before we depart." I had a long speech about disclaimers I'd memorised last year sometime. It was long and boring, and I'm sure you don't want to hear it. Edward surveyed me throughout, I was fairly sure he wasn't listening. But he didn't need to. He'd had a very similar speech, I was sure, and they just needed to be taped on the records.

He smiled crookedly at me when I said we were not to have any personal relations, and I raised my eyebrows in response, still talking. He bit back a laugh. It almost made me smile.

When I was finished, he gave me a moment before plunging into his own speech in a quiet musical voice. He raised his eyebrows when he said something about personal relations, and I gave a small smile. A professional, small, tight smile. Not the flirtatious one he had given me. I didn't know if I could even do flirtatious. I'd never had any reason to.

Finally he reached the end of his speech. This is where the negotiations began. I had all our favours and requests lists in my head like an essay. But I wanted to see how he would style his speech before I showed mine, so I waited for him to start.

"Well, Bella. We have quite a few questions for you, and I'm sure you have more than enough answers for me. Where shall I start?" His eyes slid off mine, and I looked down. When I glanced back up, waiting for him to continue, he was staring at my hair. I cleared my throat quietly.

"Do you know what happened to Elise Nepal?" He asked. I was slightly surprised at this question- this meeting wasn't about people. But I knew who she was, and I had been under the impression she was dead, due to the fact when I'd once heard her name, my father sounded pleased.

"This meeting is not a one-way interrogation, Cullen. If information like that is told to you, it must be swapped for information for us. And this meeting is not about people." I said coldly. But he leaned forward, sparks in his eyes.

"That's exactly what it's about, Bella." He had me captivated, my eyes were locked in his intense stare. An earthquake could have torn at the world around us and I wouldn't have noticed or broken the stare. "People. People are making our world powerful, they are our support and without our people, where do organisations like us stand? The fear of us driven into people, the people who spy, the ones who lie, the people who lead and control, the people who submit… there is not one part of our organisations that does not make it about people!" He was leaning forward towards me, and I leaned forward to answer him.

"But bonds between people- what I guessed was behind you question- is precisely what cripples us inside our organisations, and forces people to succumb outside it. What do people and lives mean to us? It's every man for himself in this world. I thought you, of all people, would know about that." I had touched on acknowledging how close I imagined his existence was to mine, and I saw in his eyes that he noticed.

"You're such a young girl! You haven't seen anything!" I thought he was being mocking, there was some undercurrent to his voice, something harsh. But there was also a longing, a depth in the words, that I couldn't understand, either. "You think relationships still don't matter to people here? They're the key to the fear we use! But within the organisations, they just make them stronger. They build the bonds of trust that make us work efficiently."

"Trust? You have no idea what you're talking about. Where's trust? You're delusional if you believe in trust." I was smiling, I could see the weaknesses the Cullens had bred into this boy. And everything I found out I would use. I was told to get whatever I could out of any dialogue that was produced, and though this was quite off the track that had been planned for today, it gave me a lot of insight into the field. I hadn't expected intelligent banter with the Cullen child.

"Don't get too off-track." I heard the voice in my earpiece say. I smiled. This was right on track- I was learning more about the confusing morals of the Cullens, the morals that had perplexed me for as long as I could remember. Learning about Edward, his morals, how he was taught to think, was teaching me so much about the Cullens.

"Trust is what makes family organisations work- it's what makes people work together. I wouldn't be here if my family didn't trust me. And you wouldn't be here if your family didn't trust you." But he looked at me shrewdly as he said this, testing my reaction. He was gaining as much from this as I was. I had to be careful. But I scoffed at that in my head- family! He was so wrong.

I had never been shown affection- as I've told you, any touch I had from anyone I knew just reminded me of when they'd tortured me. Trust- I was taught not to. Edward was taught that was the foundation of his organisation. That would mean our people would have less to lose and probably climb up ladders quickly in the Cullen organisation- no-one to hold them back.

Satisfied that I wasn't going to reply, or show any response in my face, he repeated,

"What happened to Elise Nepal?"

"Do not give any information like that in the first meeting, we'll discuss how information like that should be swapped tonight." The calm voice in my ear said.

"Information on people will not be shared in this meeting- we need to have some grounds for swapping information as such. I will discuss it with my organisation tonight and tell you how we shall deal with it tomorrow." I replied.

"All right. But there is some information we must know- we won't agree to your conditions if we do not have certain information." There was a level of desperation in his eyes, and I wondered at the cause of it.

I carried on looking into his eyes and… somehow (even in the climax of my life!) I managed to lose my train of thought and just stared into the emerald kaleidoscopes of his eyes.

We covered more of the policies of the meetings we were going to have, and occasionally one of us would slip in a witty comment or inappropriate laugh at something the other said. And occasionally a new debate about ethics that taught me even more about Edward and the Cullens would arise, until one of us was told to shut up by our organisations.

Eventually a bell rang, and I had understood it would be for lunch. I checked my watch. We had been talking for hours. For some reason, I didn't want to leave. Even though I'd be coming back for an afternoon session. How weird.

When I left, I felt a strange pull back into the meeting room. I did not discuss how the morning had gone with the colleagues who had been behind the mirrors, because we were expecting the room was bugged. We'd bugged the room Edward would be eating in. I found myself going over the conversations in my mind. A natural response, I tried to assure myself. But I was going over the witty comments, the small arguments, Edward's smiles and laughs. Trying to figure out more about him.

I looked up at the cold downcast faces of my colleagues and was glad they couldn't read my mind. I looked back down into my lap as I felt a blush warm my face. At least, that's what I thought it was. I'd never felt ashamed before. Why was I blushing now? I didn't even know.

When I went back into the meeting room I felt my face warm up again slightly when my peripheral vision caught Edward. I had to get rid of this. Whatever it was. Some kind of connection to him. Probably because we were so similar. Had to get rid of it. I needed something, anything to distract me.

I somehow managed to realise just in time that I was heading for the floor, and grabbed the back of a chair. Well, if that's what it takes for a distraction. When I pulled myself back up, I really _was_ blushing. Then I saw Edward's mocking gaze, and the blush got worse. And my breath hitched. What was wrong with me?

I sat down, laughing at myself. When I looked back at Edward, trying to ignore the weird swooping feelings inside me, the mocking gaze was gone and replaced with one of amusement. My blush hadn't yet faded.

"What on earth are you doing?" A voice in my ear hissed. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I looked down and hoped my blush would fade away if I stopped looking at Edward.

And I really couldn't figure out the answer to that question.

We started talking again, but this time about what the purpose of these meetings were.

"We want information on members of our organisation who are missing. That is a crucial requirement for anything you would like to acquire of us."

I nodded. It wasn't a difficult proposal.

"We would like to know your situation on arms- whether or not there is truth behind the nuclear rumours? We also would like to know if you are in agreement with the state about some of your work." Basically, do you work for the government. "And if you are, how much of your work is done in agreement with the state."

We carried on discussing the conditions our organisations wanted before I actually spelled out what the meeting was for. In fact, I didn't even manage to define the ideas of merge.

The Cullen Clan must have had a fairly good idea that the purpose of the meetings was merge, but it had never been clearly labelled, and it was the most important issue I was going to discuss with Edward. But another bell rang before it was possible. I stayed still for a minute. I didn't want to move. This had been the most exciting day of my life- it used all the assets and talents I had, and was the purpose of my life. I didn't want to leave. I wouldn't see this room again- it would be somewhere else tomorrow.

So Edward stood first, though he seemed… slow. He didn't break my gaze. I stood up, and wondered how to say goodbye. Advice was spoken into my ear- I had no choice but to follow it.

"Until tomorrow, Cullen." It did not escape my notice that his hand fluttered at his side for a moment before he spoke.

"Have a safe journey, Bella." I stared into his eyes for a last second, trying to penetrate them into my memory. His eyes were staring into mine, too. Then I turned on my heel slowly and walked out.

**This chapter is dedicated to bodidley09 for my first review (And only, I hasten to add lol). iv cn some ppl have added this to alerts wout reviewing, thank you very much but I would really like to know what you think! Please press the review button, it tells me what I can do with my stories to make them better to read!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Walking back down to the car that landed on the sidewalk the moment I was close enough to get into it, I felt a shock at the cold air as it wrapped around my face. The cold atmosphere with my people was so different to the intense atmosphere in that room with Edward.

I wondered if he could see me- he was still inside the building. I really wanted to turn around, but I knew I shouldn't. Who was he to me? He wasn't even a colleague- he was from the other side. So I got into the car without a backward glance, but my heart ached in my chest in an alien way and I frowned at myself. I tried to shake my head, get rid of it.

---

I was allowed half an hour to freshen up and change in my current bedroom, before we would travel to a place closer to the room we would be in tomorrow, where I would have a conference with Aro.

I looked in the mirror. My face was slightly flushed, my eyes were shiny and my face… it was _glowing_. I felt my forehead- was I ill? I felt fine. I couldn't imagine what was wrong with me. I felt kind of different too, and another look in the mirror- I realised I looked _pretty_. And kind of happy. I smiled at my reflection, trying to suppress the slightly breathless, airy feeling that was filling my body like a birthday balloon. My smile, intended to be small and tight, to restrain my emotion, became a huge grin and I rolled my eyes at myself. What was wrong with me?

Why was I feeling so different? So happy? I didn't really want to know the answer, believe it of myself, so I imagined it was because the day had gone well. I splashed my face with cold water, trying to get rid of the blush and the jittery feeling I had the made me want to run around screaming and grinning.

When I looked back in the mirror, my eye make-up had smudged. I washed it off, cooling my face down. There was no need for make-up now. I hadn't seen the point of earlier actually but I'd been told it was necessary.

I still felt very hyper and tense. I decided there was nothing more I could do at the moment, and changed into the jeans and shirt that had been packed for travelling. I tied my hair up and packed the few things I had into my small suitcase. I took it down a private lift we had commandeered and exited through the back staff entrance with my bag.

I stopped as the cool air of the late afternoon blew against my neck. I felt the adrenaline rush through my veins before I recognised the feeling that had caused it.

I could feel eyes on me. And not from the car that stood on the street close to me. One of the men from the Volturi was standing against the car. I recognised him and his stare, but there was someone else watching me. I whipped around to stare at the back of the hotel.

I couldn't even see a shadow or a curtain move. But I knew, just knew, from all my training that someone was watching me. I walked swiftly to the car, and climbed in. The driver followed. Before he set off, I asked him,

"Wait a moment. Where are the others? I usually travel with more than one person."

"I suggested they go ahead. Everyone has already left." I leaned back into the seat, surprised. Why had they listened to a driver? Someone hadn't told me something.

He turned the keys in the ignition and the car moved silently away.

"Is there any word that we were followed to that hotel?" I asked. The driver caught my eyes in the mirror.

"I doubt it. Why?" He muttered.

"Someone was watching me when I left."

"What did they look like? Where were they?" His voice deepened with caution and trained curiosity.

"I didn't see them. I just… _felt_ them." He looked at me curiously, but nodded at my expression, believing me.

"I'll mention it." We said at the same time.

The rest of the journey slipped by in silence.

---

I looked around as I got out of the car. The feeling had gone. Whoever had been watching hadn't followed. Well, if they had, they weren't here yet.

Shown in the back entrance and allowed five minutes in my room, I quickly jotted down a few details I needed to discuss.

_Elise Nepal_

_Members of the Cullen Clan taken hostage_

_Security of the hotel- and on this one_

_ANY information about Edward Cullen_

_Some medication to help me sleep tonight?_

I looked at the last bit, then crossed it out. I didn't need Aro knowing that I was high on some kind of childish excitement. It wouldn't look very professional.

I folded it into my pocket and left my room. The driver was waiting in the corridor for me, and he escorted me to the hotel conference room that had been rented for our purposes.

"Did you tell anyone about us being watched?" I asked.

"Yes, I told someone who said they had told Aro. He said not to worry about it."

I spun around. The watching feeling again. I searched the corridor behind me- and saw a CCTV camera. That would be it. Maybe there had been one outside the last hotel.

The conference room was smaller than what I was used to. There were five people already seated in there, and by the look of the notes and laptops in front of them they had already had a meeting about what to say to me. Two of them had been behind the mirror in the room today, one was a scribe and the other two were important members of the Volturi, one of them Aro. I took my seat on the side of the table facing them.

"Good evening, Bella. Congratulations for today." Aro greeted, surveying my face curiously, and I hoped the curious blush and shiny eyes had gone. But they probably hadn't.

"Good evening Aro." I said respectively, and he looked down at his notes to begin.

"Right, we'd like quite a lot of information in exchange for the information about Elise Nepal and any other disappearances they've blamed on us. Information on the government, how much they know about us, the nuclear rumours, their torture methods, the territory of towns they have control of. You know a lot of it."

"So I propose that tomorrow, or start trading information?" I asked, watching the scribe.

"Propose it tomorrow, and if they agree then propose the merge. Watch for their reaction," I remembered how I lost my train of thought looking at Edward's eyes, and sighed. Aro looked at me curiously. "Is something the matter?" He asked, his delicate eyebrows raised, creasing his papery skin.

"I'm fine, Aro. I just… the experience today intrigued me." He surveyed me suspiciously, and I shrugged.

"You can say that Elise Nepal was tortured for information on them, and she lied. They don't need to know any more. Only divulge that information if they have given you information you have asked for which has been verified by the people who will be listening, and they'll tell you through the earpiece."

"From what I've learned about the Cullens today, they would merge if they think we're not… as brutal as we are. I'm very surprised with the way they brought up Edward, he seems quite… soft-hearted. That would suggest they encourage family bonds and ties in their organisation, so information like us torturing one of their people will not go down well. Have you got any information about people that are still alive?" I asked.

"You have assumed quite a lot, girl. I would s-"

"I'm good at that. I pride myself on interpreting other people." Aro dismissed this, carrying on as if I hadn't spoken.

"I would suggest you refrain from assuming too much. However I do agree. Can you think of any appropriate cases we can report to the Cullen Clan?" He asked the senior person sitting on his right.

"There are several. Zafrina Amozionan, Eleazar Denali, Benjamin Cairo-" They were silenced by a look from Aro. He murmured something in their ear.

"Yes, she is a good example." They nodded, and Aro turned back to me.

"Alice Brandon. Her history is that she was kidnapped by the Mangia Tower a few years ago. Could you print the documents about her history and condition?" He asked the scribe. "You can read it and memorize it tonight." He said to me. There was a pause. I remembered my notes, and what was written on them.

"Also, about the hotel security-"

"Sorry, 'also'? Am I meant to know about this?" Aro asked.

"Oh, I thought the driver said he'd spoken to you. Well, I'm not sure that the last hotel was secure. Someone was watching me as I left and got into the car."

"What did they look like?" Aro asked, alert.

"I… I don't know. I didn't _see_ them, I just _felt_ them. I knew someone was there, someone was watching me. And it wasn't an innocent passer-by." Aro raised his eyebrows, and I couldn't blame him, I knew how ridiculous I sounded.

"You expect me to take that seriously?" He asked, not rudely, but curiously.

"I don't expect you to, because I know you. But you should, because it is true. I know my instincts, and they are usually accurate. We should check the security of this hotel." I told him.

"But if you just felt it…?"

"But I did, Aro! And there's some kind of breach- because I knew that they shouldn't have been there! I _felt_ it, and I _know_ I'm right." Aro raised his eyebrows again.

"We'll heighten the security on this hotel. But I'm not inclined to take this entirely seriously, and you know why." I nodded. "So, tomorrow, you shall offer to trade information, put the merge onto the table, and possibly exchange information about Alice Brandon. I'll have the file in your room in five minutes."

I nodded, and wondered if there was anything else.

"There's nothing else." He said, motioning towards the door. I remembered the last note on the paper in my pocket. I couldn't believe I had forgotten.

"Do you know anything about the man I spoke to- Edward Cullen?" I asked. Aro looked up from the laptop the scribe had written the conversation on. He looked surprised.

"Edward Cullen? That's probably a false name, but we know a little about his life. Why do you ask?" I struggled with the urge to look down.

"I'd like to know as much as I can about him- like all the research I've done of the Cullens. It would probably help in the conversation, and give me more confidence." He blinked, and then replied,

"I'll have the information on him in the folder about Brandon. Time to leave." I left this time, and the driver was waiting in the hall to take me back.

I went out onto the tiny balcony in my room that looked out onto the Italian street. The air was warm and dry, a contrast from the cold wind there had been today. I felt the observed feeling again and, with a surge of frustration, this time I scoured everything I could see.

I looked at the street in front of me, the big Italian billboard, the closed shops, the group of teenagers staggering towards a lonely off-license, the hotel staff car park, with five cars with the musty appearance of cars that lived in hot dry countries. There were a few houses in sight, backing up onto the street, but that was further off, on the other side of a road that bordered the car park. I couldn't see the eyes on me. Then I looked around me. I heard something rustle above me as I turned my head, and my gaze shot up to a closing window above me. Someone without a balcony… had had their window open.

The feeling of being watched was a lot more diluted now, but I felt very uneasy. As if the person in that room was not the only person watching me. I looked back down to the car park. Now I looked closer, one of the cars didn't really fit with the others. Although it was dusty and faded like the others, I could see the hint of red in under the disguise. I thought I saw the matt appearance of a hood and guessed that it was a convertible, but I couldn't see the make. And then I realised what had made me suspicious- I couldn't see the numberplate.

There was a knock at my door. I turned away, shutting the balcony behind me. The driver handed me a folder, as Aro promised. I had an idea. I motioned for him to come inside, and said very quietly to him,

"There was someone watching me in the room without a balcony in a room two floors above this one, and to the right when I was looking out. Could you check if it's someone from our group, and if not, tell someone who will tell Aro about it please." I murmured.

He nodded and walked off, and I sat down on the bed to read the content of the folder.

_**Alice Brandon**_

_Born in 1987, 22 years old. Adopted daughter of Esme Roberts, partner of Carlisle Cullen. _

_Kidnapped in the operation at Mangia Tower in 2006, when Roberts herself was not captured. Incredible insight into our organisation despite her age, and deduced that she must have been important enough to be told a lot of information. More tests were done on her- medical tests. Some form of psychic training as well as exceptional intelligence was found in the results. _

_She was kept for interrogation and further observation, and not tortured despite the information she knew. _

_A few times curious behaviour has been recorded._

_23__rd__ October 2006- She went into a trance, and came out of it behaving strangely but not describing what had happened. Doctor accounted it as paralysis. _

_12__th__ January 2007- She was found at 10pm having a fit in her bed. Seemed to be terrified. Doctor recorded it as an epileptic fit, though no history was found._

_More have been recorded. _

_Alice Brandon is still under imprisonment, but has not been physically harmed._

_**Edward Cullen**_

_17 years old, red hair, green eyes._

_Carlisle Cullen's son. Been seen in public a couple of times on record by the Volturi. Seems to be based permanently in Sienna. _

_Went to the private boarding school St Laurent in Venice under the name of Anthony Masen. Records of Anthony Masen describe a clever, musically talented teenager who got exceptional grades even for the school he went to. Not particularly sociable, not prefect or head of any organisations, keeping a low profile. _

_Evidence of relationships built in St Laurent has been found, pictured with a friend who also went to that school, Jasper Hale._

The room seemed silent when I finished reading, and I realised I must have been reading it aloud. I re-read the information, particularly that of Edward's education. When I thought I had memorised the information enough, I heard a quiet knock on the door. I opened it to see the driver again.

"The information for who is there, room 56, is blank- no one is staying there. The other rooms on that floor are for storage. Aro said, his words, that you were getting sensitive after a heavy day and you should sleep it off. Good night."

I racked my brains for something that would distract him for me.

"Could you possibly look up the number plate of the red convertible in the car park for me? Please don't tell Aro, but look it up, who it belongs to, for me."

He was into cars, I could tell from his appreciative glances at cars we passed whenever he drove me. He would want to find out what make it was, then he would have to walk around the front of the car to see the number plate. And if there wasn't one, he'd look inside the car for information, or get worried and tell someone, or break into it. If there was one, he'd go inside and look it up on one of our very informed laptop databases. I should have enough time.

He walked away, and I waited a moment before going in the opposite direction, towards the main stairs. I shouldn't be recognised, no one from the hotel except my own company, so there shouldn't be any trouble. And I could deal with trouble, couldn't I?

So I went up the two flights of stairs, and to the room 56. I could hear someone in there, walking around. I decided to be polite, and so I knocked.

Of course I instantly regretted it, and my weird high I'd been on all day came down with a bump as I realised that was probably the most stupid thing I had ever done. I debated turning and running off, but something, curiosity I think, held me there.

The door opened and a very large man answered it. My first impression was that he was very fat, with a large t-shirt that covered a straining belly. His hair was dark and unkempt, hanging in his eyes. And he looked like he hadn't shaved. He looked like a slob, I guess. At first glance.

Not what I was expecting.

Then I heard a female voice from inside, which stopped my analysis. I frowned- this I _really_ was not expecting.

"What's that? Someone at the door?" A girl came up to the door. She must have been in her twenties. Her hair was waist-length, and looked like it was a beautiful goldy blonde when it was dry, but it was wet and slightly curly as if she had just washed it. She was wearing a silk dressing gown over a skimpy nightie, with bare feet. She wrapped her arms around the man's waist.

Her face was breathtakingly beautiful, and I felt a blow to my self esteem just by looking at her angelic face. I must have looked shocked, and my eyes travelled back to the man to see what I had missed, what could make him worthy of her beauty.

And to my surprise, I realised I had missed quite a lot about him. What I had assumed was excess fat and a beer belly straining under a tight shirt was his huge muscles bulging out from his arms and chest. His hair was dark and curly, and falling in his brown eyes quite adorably. His face looked quite young compared to his huge body, and that was probably why I had thought he was fat.

They stared at me expectantly. I frowned.

"Sorry, I thought no one was staying here. That's what it says in the records…" I rambled, caught, for the first time in my life, without words.

"We're honeymooning. But _Emmett_ didn't book quick enough, so we just had to drive to the closest hotel to the airport." The woman laughed, leaning into her husband fondly.

I almost asked about the records, but decided against it.

"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt you. It just made me curious, because I thought I saw someone up here." I finished, and turned back to the stairs.

"Sorry, I didn't catch your name?" The girl asked, and I turned back around, reluctantly.

"Marie." I said. I noticed her hand out, and moved to shake it.

"I'm Rose. Rose Hale." She smiled, and I released her hand with a shock of déjà vu. "I hope to see you again."

I nodded and turned away, and then ran down the stairs. Hale? Like Jasper Hale? Did he have a sister? I grabbed the laptop in my room and searched Jasper Hale's records. And found that he did have a sister. Rosalie Hale.

I shut down the laptop and was about to run down to tell someone that some people connected to the Cullens were upstairs when the driver returned. He knocked quickly, and walked straight in.

"There was no number plate. Did you go somewhere? Because when I came back you weren't here, and I'll get fired if you've been allowed out without an escort." He looked scared, and so I decided maybe tonight wasn't the time to say I had been exploring. I would save that for breakfast.

"I needed some air." I answered. His brow creased in confusion, but he let it go. I shut the door and got ready for bed.

Woken at five the next morning again, and brought through to a room where my hair and make up was done. The woman who did my makeover looked over my face when I came in, and chattered to me as she worked. Usually people didn't talk to me. I supposed it was their professional state and I was too weird a prospect for them for them to relate to me as human.

This woman did, however. She chattered meaninglessly, telling my what she was doing with my hair, what would work.

"You look different today." She slipped in.

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"You're acting differently, look different. I can't really tell you what the change is, but you look… I dunno, healthier." She caught my eyes in the reflection of the mirror in front of us. I blushed again. What was with the blushing? I never blushed. I smiled, embarrassed. She nodded confidently.

"What?" I asked.

"I can see the signs, I think." She mumbled, turning her attention to my hair. I frowned. What could she mean? But it seemed like, for some reason, she couldn't tell me.

She turned my chair around so she could do my make up. She paused.

"I don't think you need much." She reached for a pencil, and began shading very lightly by my eye. "You've got such good skin, you know. I'd kill for skin like yours." She laughed, and took some kind of cream that she rubbed on the slight bags under my eyes.

"I can't think of what else to use on you. You look really good. You're eyes are… like they're excited. And you've got lovely colour in your cheeks." She grinned, and stroked my eyelashes with a little mascara before stepping back to look at me. "That's fine, I think. See you tomorrow." She smiled.

"Thank you." I said as I walked out.

Breakfast went slowly, probably because I was so excited about the day to come. There was a strange pull to the future, I couldn't wait to talk to Edward again. No, negotiate with the Cullen Clan. Either way, I couldn't wait.

Looking back, I am very cynical on my behaviour and emotions that morning. Because, very uncharacteristically for me, I forgot the most important thing. I forgot to talk to the Volturi about the convertible, Rosalie and Emmett. Something about the alien anticipation and excitement drove out the memories of the previous night. And perhaps if I had told Aro, the events that defined that day in my history would never have taken place.

---

After all the trouble with the security again, I was barely sitting in my chair I was so desperate to start the conference. I tried to relax my muscles and sit properly in my chair so my tension wasn't visible. But it was barely possible to take deep breaths, so I didn't manage. I just suffered with trying to stay still.

When someone finally said it was time I leapt out of my chair, costing my more glances from the other people in the room. I had been told that today it was not possible to be alone in the room. There was not as good facilities, like the mirror rooms that had been behind the walls in the last room. So the people listening would be seated in the corners of the room. I didn't know how this would affect me, but I was disappointed when I heard about the change.

When someone opened the door, I felt such a rush of emotion, such a jolt of adrenaline punch through my veins I stopped and steadied myself. I sat back down, feeling a head rush as if I was going to faint.

"Wait a moment, please." I muttered, and tried to clear my brain that was frying with the new emotions. I sat for about a minute taking deep breaths and cooling my composure. I recalled unpleasant memories that would flush out the strong pull I felt towards that room.

Though I hated to admit it to myself, admit a weakness, I realised that Edward was the problem. Just thinking of him in the next room made my pulse speed up. So I would not look at him. No eye contact, no concentrating on his face and reactions. I would have to judge his thoughts by his voice.

When I knew I had my emotions under the control of a poker face mask, I stood and apologized. Then I led the way into the room. It was even bigger than the room we had talked in the day before. It had huge glass windows like a school classroom, and their were two long desks striping the room with one chair behind each, and a row of chairs on either side of the room. One side of the room was already full, and I looked at every face sitting there, except one. I avoided looking for those green eyes, that bronze hair, though every cell in my body screamed against it.

I sat down in my chair and then began to wonder how on earth this conversation would unravel if I didn't maintain eye contact.

"Good morning," I said to the room at large, sweeping my eyes over the room without focussing on anything. I felt a lot more self conscious with all the people in the room.

"Good morning, Bella." Said a soft voice that I dared not to source. I found myself staring as if my life depended on it on the company behind him. Anything to distract me.

"Have you considered our proposals about information about disappearances?" His voice sounded even better than it had the day before. It was calling my to look at his face. I resisted painfully.

"Yes, we have. But obviously we are going to have to swap that information with information on your situation with the government, your arms situation, your torture methods, your organisation's territory and you will have to consider the proposal we are going to make today very seriously."

There was a pause in the room and someone whose microphone was attached to my earpiece took a sharp intake of breath.

"Of merging the Volturi and the Cullen Clan." I finished. And I knew, after dropping that expected bombshell- expected for eighteen years!- that I had to look at Edward to see what the Cullen's response to it was. Annoyance seethed through me as my breath caught when I met his gaze- not now! I wanted to tell my body. His face was searching mine, his eyes running over my face in a penetrating manner. I struggled to keep eye contact- I couldn't deal with the force of his eyes on mine. After a minute, he answered, and by what I could see of the people behind him hissing into their microphones I guessed he was told to say every word that came from his mouth.

"We have expected such plans, and we have produced conditions accordingly. Our company does not need merge, we are adequately supported and do not see the need. However there is no doubt that a merge could be beneficial to both of us- our organisations." I snapped my head up to him for a moment, but he continued without another hiccup, "Because we do not need the merge, you will have to meet all our conditions. First, we would like all the hostages you have back. This includes Elise Nepal, Zafrina Amozionan, Eleazar Denali, Benjamin Cairo, Alice Brandon and Esme Roberts. Second, your methods will need to get a lot less violent. We have policies and rules that our people stick to. And your members will need to have their records checked, and behaviour and mental state examined." I raised my eyebrows. "And the bonds between members need to be strengthened to ever join our ranks, by the look of your organisation… and your attitude." I narrowed my eyes at him.

I couldn't believe the direction he'd taken the conversation- and the arrogance! But also… and this thought chilled me… he spoke as if he knew we would never agree to his commands. And like he didn't care. And if he didn't care about a merge- what was he doing here? What had he- _we_- been brought up for?

"Excuse me." I said, and bolted from the room, knowing I would have to pay hell for it.

I leant against the wall in the room across. I had been told- always been told- that they would support the merge. That the merge was the purpose of my life- I was the tool to pull it together.

And Edward's words, his tone, his posture- I knew enough about people, I could read them well enough… to tell that he knew the merge was never going to happen. Where did that leave me? What was my purpose? What were the Cullens planning? What on _earth_ was happening?

I found myself sliding down the wall, my breathing get quicker. I needed to stop this before I went into a panic attack. I hadn't even had any concrete proof. I felt tears, hot tears, gushing down my face. What was wrong with me? I couldn't remember the last time I cried because of emotions. _Get them under control!_ I yelled at myself. I heard someone come in, and I shook as I tried to hold my breath to hold in the sobs that were racking through me.

Whoever it was started to talk, but I held a hand up so they would wait for my breathing to calm down. When I had it under control, I looked up through my wet lashes. I almost started hyperventilating again.

It was Edward. _What the f*ck was _he_ doing here?_ Then I realised that he was being held back by one of the security men, and all the representatives of the company were also around me. I swore again mentally. What on earth would they think of me for this? I rubbed a finger under my eye. Great. My mascara.

"_What_ is going on?" I heard a voice in my earpiece. Aro. I swore again.

"Bella got sick. It was only for a moment, but alarms went up. It's fine, not something she can control. She's done it before." I looked in amazement at the woman speaking. Was she trying to _cover_ for me? Pretty futile, I considered, but I felt grateful anyway. Maybe that would cover what Edward was going to say to the Cullen Clan. I couldn't believe he'd managed to get in and follow me- and see my breakdown.

I tried shutting my eyes, to do the useless test to see if this was real. But when I opened them, everyone was still standing there. I truly wished that I could die there. I didn't want to face the punishment Aro would give me tonight.

It took the most courage I've ever needed in my life to stand up, wipe my eyes and walk back in. I was followed by stone cold silence, and every one was watching me as if their eyes were swinging from my momentum. I sat down in my seat and glared at Edward with the best glare I could manage with my stinging eyes. My breath was still ragged still.

"So where were we?" I asked, with a dry voice that cracked. "Oh, yes, your conditions. Well,"

"Our organisation was under the impression your organisation were in favour of a merge." Someone said in my ear. I repeated them.

"And that your company knew that was the purpose of these meetings and…" I almost said 'us', and while I struggled for something to say instead my sentence kind of died. "So for you to say that the Cullen Clan would not mind if the merge does not take place is contradictory." I said.

"Well, as I've said, the highest priority of our organisation is finding out what has happened to the members of the Cullen Clan that have gone missing. The bonds that tie us together make us what we are, and the people of our organisation make us. If you want us to seriously consider merge, we will need that information." He leaned back with the same confidence he had spoken with earlier that had made me panic.

"Tell him about Esme Roberts." A voice told me. I looked around to the people behind me- what on earth? I hadn't been told to talk about Esme Roberts! I didn't know she existed until Edward mentioned her a few minutes ago.

"I don't know." I said, to my microphone.

"Sorry?" Someone said in my ear at the same time as Edward. Now I was really confused. Someone asked the question, and they would know who had spoken to me. Did I imagine it? I very much doubted it.

"Sorry… nothing." I lied to them.

The rest of the conversation we argued about conditions to the merge, like we were supposed to. Eventually we did actually swap some information, about Alice Brandon, in exchange for their position with the government.

"Ladies first." Edward grinned, so I averted my eyes.

"Alice Brandon is still alive. Your turn."

"The government helped start the Cullen Clan."

"She was kept alive because she was so well-informed about the Volturi." Edward shut his eyes for a few moments. I frowned.

"Has she been tortured?" He asked. Then he apologized. "Sorry. The government use us to help with necessary assassinations."

"No, she wasn't tortured despite what she knew."

"So the government fund us for those assassinations, and in return they are not so harsh on us with the law, and if any cases turn up in the courts they usually help us get out of them."

"Like the case with Liam Gentry four years ago?"

"Precisely."

I racked my brains for any more information that I hadn't said yet. I wasn't sure if I should mention the fits and psychic stuff.

"That's all I know." I'd found out enough about the government situation.

The rest of the day passed quickly- well, for me. I found myself as spellbound as I'd been yesterday. When the conversation got dull, I found myself just staring into his eyes- the emerald crystals that were glinting like diamonds and gemstones were hidden in a thousand facets in his irises.

Occasionally his hair would slip in front of his eyes and I would get so distracted I would have to ask him to repeat what he was saying. His hair was so messy, and the colour was so unusual. And the contrast it had with his pale skin was so-

Then I would scold myself. What was I doing? Edward Cullen's appearance was not relevant- _at all_! I hated my teenage mind reacting to him and his features.

The same driver I had had the previous day drove me- alone, again- to the next hotel. It took hours, we were going right out of our usual perimeter. I was exhausted by the time we got to the hotel- it was dark and I'd had a long day. And I still needed to recover from the panic attack I'd had earlier.

The moment I got to my room, I slumped onto the bed without thinking about the fact I needed to call Aro- he hadn't followed us down this time, we were too far away. I was unconscious in moments.

I woke up when it was still dark. I was still fully-clothed, and there was silence leaking through my window, and humming in my head.

What had woken me up? Then I recognised the tingling on the hairs on the back of my neck, and a cold shiver ran down my spine. I jumped up from the bed, and almost screamed as a shadow moved.

Someone was _in_ my room.

**OK this chapter took aaaages. Seemed very long but I bet it wont actually be very long on here. Thank you ****bodidley09 for reading all my stories- I owe you. Thanks also and amnethyst-emerald for reviewing- it means a lot, please do again. I wanna know what you think of this ending! Thank you to those who've added this to favourites and alerts but could you review so I know what you think/where you want me to go with this?**

**Ooh yh n any suspicions anyone has will make make me very happy :D *not hinting or anything bodidley09!***


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I swore, and then began to suck in a deep breath for a scream. A cold hand clamped on my mouth, and I realised there was more than one intruder. The other arm the person used to wrap around my waist and arms so I was tightly bound to their chest. I slipped my hands from under their grip, and kicked their shins with my heels as hard as I could. I brought both my elbows forward and jabbed them backwards into their chest as hard as I could. I felt them recoil, and my elbows stung. I ripped their hand from my mouth.

I screamed as loudly as I could, and suddenly the air was knocked out of me as someone pulled my feet off the floor in a judo move and knocked me to the floor. I felt cold hands tie my arms and ankles together and struggled furiously.

"Gag?" I heard a velvet voice ask, the one who was over me, his knee on my back. I recognised the voice with a treacherous stab of recognition, which made me snarl into the floor and struggle harder. Hands smoothed my hair back, and swept across my face as they found my mouth and filled and wrapped it with cloth.

I was then flipped over, and the moonlight pouring through the window allowed me to see my attackers.

One was Emmett, and he had been the one to gag me. The other was Edward, and for a few seconds I forgot to breathe, caught by his eyes _again_. Before I could react in any other way, he picked me up carelessly and effortlessly and threw me over his shoulder. He then followed Emmett to the window. I couldn't see but I heard a whoosh of air and with a sickening feeling I realised Emmett had jumped out of the window. I was only on the first floor, but my stomach plummeted as Edward braced himself on the ledge and jumped out. He landed on the balls of his feet, and the force threw my forward so I could see his face. He stared at me for a moment, frozen, then blinked, then tossed me back over his shoulder and stood up.

Then he started running. It was surprisingly fast, seeing as he was carrying me, and in no time at all I was in a car. I was sandwiched between Emmett and Edward in the back.

"You're gonna need to blindfold her, Edward. Just in case. We're fine, Rose. Drive." I caught the gaze of the blonde driving the car, and it was much colder than it had been the day before. But I didn't really register her. I was in too much shock.

"Sorry." I heard Edward mutter as he tied a cloth tight over my eyes. Spots appeared in front of my eyes. He tried to touch me as little as possible, I noticed. And I was grateful. Hate stronger than I had _ever_ experienced it before- and it was my most common emotion- had swelled up in me so overwhelming I felt acid rise up in my throat and my mouth, blocked by gags, set in what would have been a snarl.

The car started, and zoomed forward, far too fast. I shot forward, and someone's cold hands yanked my back and strapped me to the seat. My teeth ground against the fabric when I felt them touch me, and the hate shuddered through my system again, like adrenaline.

My panic was washed over with fatigue for a moment. Then I felt something rising in my throat. The same feeling I'd had this morning, the panic that had caused me to have the attack. I tried to hold my breath, to stop myself from breaking into another attack before it was too late. I needed my head clear. And my body not to screw up. But in answer I felt my body shake convulsively, like sobs, and my head bowed as I fought for control over my body.

"Hey, Edward. I think she's having some kind of episode." I heard Emmett say next to me, and I struggled to breathe in deeply, to fill myself with oxygen so I wouldn't start hyperventilating. The blindfold and gag wasn't helping. Nor was the humidity of the car.

"Shit." Edward cursed. I felt his hand turn my bowed head to him- what on earth?- I thought. "What is it Jazz does?"

"I think he holds them and whispers to them, or something. I'll try it." I heard Emmett say, and felt his weight shift.

"No. I'll do it, Emmett." I would have frowned but my body shook with another convulsion. I was really going to lose control. I sucked in one more breath, and then my breathing went over the edge. My mind wasn't panicking so much now, it was like it had all gone to my body. I was now panicking that I wouldn't be able to stop my body.

"Shit." And I felt a cool arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me to him. Edward. What was he doing?

His hand rubbed up and down my arm, and murmured intelligibly in my ear, so softly it sounded like a shadow of a whisper. My hyperventilating got worse, and my back arched suddenly, involuntarily, to give my lungs more room. The arm pulled me back, and a hand pulled my head to Edward's chest. Through my twisting breath, I smelt his scent. It was the most delicious thing I'd ever sensed.

But it only made my breathing worse, and my arms and ankles shook and trembled in their useless state. I felt tears rise up in my eyes when a lump started to pound thickly in my throat. The arms around me tightened.

"It's getting worse," Emmett commented of my increased shaking

"I think we need to take off the blindfold or something." Edward replied. I felt Emmett do it, and my eyes pounded as I felt like I'd been bruised inside my eyelids. I glanced at my captors, and, to my surprise, they were looking as concerned as they sounded.

But their panicked eyes only made my body react worse, and my breathing got even harsher. I needed to breathe, my lungs were aching for it. I needed to use my _mouth_- but it was gagged and making the lump in my throat worse.

"Lets get the gag off her. It's not doing any good now, anyway." Edward said, as if he could read my mind. He used the hand holding my head to him to untie it. Air suddenly gushed through to my lungs through my mouth, and though my breath was still snagged, I felt a lot better immediately. Not as utterly helpless. It was like my body was going into self-destruct mode.

"Paper bag…" I cried between convulsing breaths. Rosalie thrusted one through the gap in the seats a few moments afterward. Edward's arms unwrapped from around me to take the bag and he tried to hold it to my mouth. Unsuccessfully.

"I'll untie her hands. She couldn't get past us." Emmett said, and I felt the pressure release from my wrists. They were limp for a minute, without their blood supply, and I weakly pulled them up to the bag, which I shaped around my mouth. Seeing the trouble I was having, Edward put his hands over mine, and held them in place firmly. My breathing started to ease, until eventually my body stopped shaking, and I relaxed in relief and exhaustion. My head dropped onto Edward's shoulder when I did so, and I whipped it up quickly in hate. My neck reacted to the movement with a jab of pain.

"It's all right, Bella." Edward murmured in my ear. "You should probably sleep. We've still got a while."

I shut my eyes involuntarily, trying to make sure I leant back on the seat instead of Edward. I woke to find myself being carried- by Edward, which made me twitch in hate again. We got inside a new car, and my eyes slammed shut again. I drifted into consciousness a few times, to find myself leaning on Edward- and had to right myself frequently. Then I half-awoke to find Edward's arm around me, holding me to his shoulder. I didn't react, so maybe I was dreaming. I hoped I was.

I envied this sleep later. I was so exhausted I didn't even dream. It wasn't even a troubled sleep. I couldn't dwell on the situation yet- though my brain was aching to, it was programmed that way. But the black sleep engulfed any bad thoughts. As I said, later, when I was troubled with exhausting sleepless confusing nights, I looked back and envied the utter unconsciousness that enveloped me in that car.

There were at least four more car changes, I lost track, and when Edward woke me up to carry me I noticed that it was dawn, then morning, then I guessed it must have been afternoon. Then it began to get dark again, and I began to wake up.

When I realised how I was sitting a shock of disgust rose in my throat so violently I thought I was going to vomit.

I was sitting in his lap. Ugh! And his hand was on my hair. I bolted upwards, knocking into Emmett on my other side, but I didn't see him. My eyes were caught on Edward's as I stared at him in disbelief and hatred. What on earth was he doing? What was this twisted care he was trying to give me when he had just _kidnapped_ me?

And what about my reaction? That scared me more than Edward himself- my heart's reaction to his touch, my eye's pull to his face. The fact that though hate boiled inside of me when I felt him touch me, my heart almost leapt up at my mouth as if to reach out to him. I could feel it beating, loud, in my ears.

"Is it time for you to tell me what you're doing?" I demanded. Emmett laughed at my side and I swung around to look at him, and I felt my hair slap against Edward.

"Whoa, girl. You're not in as much danger as you seem. Well, no more than you would be in your organisation." What did that mean?

"What the hell does that mean?" I glared at Emmett, but his face suddenly blanked of an emotion he was hiding. Edward gently pulled my shoulder so I had to turn to face him. I resisted, hating the touch but adoring it simultaneously and knowing I'd lose my control if I looked at him. But he was insistent, and he pulled me around and I glared between his eyes, avoiding looking at them.

"Bella, there won't be a problem if you cooperate. If you don't fight, if you're not difficult, no one will harm you, you won't be tortured or locked away. Answering questions and helping us is all we need. But you will be hurt if you make things difficult. Don't doubt that. But only if it's necessary." I lost focus and looked into his eyes and didn't doubt his words.

"That was a disclaimer, by the way. It was meant to be more formal but it got the point across." Emmett said.

"But I can stand pain. And I've been taught to fight. Taught to handle pain. I won't cooperate, just so you know." I put the last bit on as if it was a polite formal reminder and then sat back in the car and stared out the windscreen. Rose sighed.

"That's not a problem." She said coldly, locking my gaze in the mirror.

"Yeah, I know." I said politely. It would be a problem.

"No, what I meant is the pain. You won't be prepared for the kind we've got in mind for you." She replied. I laughed drily. Too many tortures had been tried on me, they wouldn't manage to break through my defences. I doubted there was anyone else as prepared for torture as the Volturi had made me.

---

The sky was dark and cloudy by the time the car stopped for the last time. It pulled up and I immediately craned my head so I could try to see where we were. I could yell and scream when I got out, which might attract attention. But Edward and Emmett were leaning against the doors, blocking the windows.

"Okay, so here's the deal." Emmett said.

"You've already established that you are not going to cooperate. So you give us no choice." Said Rosalie. Edward produced the gagging rags and the cloth they used earlier to tie me up. I couldn't think of what to do.

"No way." I hissed, and locked my jaw. I thought about sitting on my hands or putting them behind me. But it seemed childish, so I put my hands either side of me and locked my arms and so my elbows wouldn't bend. One hand was over Edward and the other Emmett. Emmett grabbed the hand with two of his large ones, Edward's fingers formed manacles around my wrists.

Then they realised my game. It took them a moment before they realised I'd locked my arms so they couldn't pass the arms to each other so they could be tied up. It was only for a moment that they tried, but I knew there was nothing they could do really. Emmett used one hand to force my elbow to bend and pushed it towards Edward, who enclosed it in the hand with my other wrist. He then wound the cloth around my wrists, tight, painful, but he did it intricately and delicately, watching what he was doing in a fascinating way. He tugged the last knot together and pain shot up my arm, and he glanced at me, his eyes twinkling. I spat in his face.

He recoiled and I felt my bitterness and hate showing on my face, and I could see his reaction. Emmett was laughing, at both of us, as he reached down and tied my feet together. Then he grabbed the gag and blindfold off Edward, but Edward snatched it back. He pulled the blindfold tight over my eyes so circles popped in front of them and I felt the weird numb pain your eyes have. Then he shoved the gags in and around my mouth, and at one point a slammed my jaw so my teeth just caught his skin. Emmett laughed again.

"Who's carryin' her?" Emmett asked.

"Definitely Edward." Rosalie said. Edward grunted and I felt my seatbelt slip from my waist to be replaced by an arm pulling me towards him. I stiffened into a board, and he felt that and maybe that's why he hit my head on the frame of the car door as he pulled me out. He threw me up onto his shoulder so I came back down with a painful thump that made my breath catch.

My head bounced off his back and his arm held my knees to his chest. His walk was smooth, I could barely tell we were moving because I felt no discomfort. I heard people talking and doors opening and eventually Edward sat me down on a chair. My face was red from being upside down, and my skin tingled where Edward touched it. From the sound of it he sat next to me.

"Bella. You are in a conference room with five members of the Cullen Clan. You will not be told any more names, and will remain blindfolded for the moment." Edward muttered next to me. My ears leaned into his voice involuntarily. He then removed the gags carefully and reached down to untie my feet. I shoved my knee up into his face as soon as he did, and I smiled as I felt him curse and shoot back. But he'd freed my feet. I just had no chance of getting out with a blindfold on.

"Good afternoon, Bella," said a strange voice from across the room. It reminded me of Edward's voice, it was smooth and almost velvet. I didn't reply.

"We have some questions for you about your organisation. You have already heard some of the questions, and your response was not very forthcoming. That was, however, expected. That is why you are here."

"What about the merge?" I asked.

"That was never a serious consideration for our organisation. The two organisations are very different, much more than you, who have only ever been one side of the fence, could ever imagine. Merge is impossible when we have such conflicting purposes." I was lost.

"What do you mean? I was always told the point of those meetings, the point of _me_, was the merge between us! How can you tell me it was never seriously considered?" I cried.

I heard two sighs, one from the speaker, and one from Edward.

"It's a long story. I-"

"Uh, I don't think she's ready for any of this today. It's been a long ordeal, and I'm sure she's going to go into shock again soon. Could we continue this later?" Edward asked from beside me. I turned my head towards him, confused beyond recognition. What kind of place was this? My captors should not be delaying an inquisition, and they should certainly not care about my health. My confusion made it easy for him to pull me off my seat and lead me out. I hated not being able to see, and him holding my tied hands so I couldn't use them to feel. But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of complaining.

He led me down steps and along corridors and through walls, I tried to remember which directions we were going in and such, but I had a feeling we were going in circles so I stopped.

The blindfold and tied hands did not help my balance, and although my feet were untied I kept tripping on them. And each time before I hit the floor two cool hands caught me below my shoulders and pulled me back up and I tried to yank myself out of his grasp, hating the touch, which would often make me fall again. But he didn't get tired of pulling me up, and I kept spitting at him and swearing, furious at my degraded position.

Eventually I heard him shut a door behind me and he set me down on something springy, felt like a bed. He undid the blindfold and spots flashed in front of my eyeballs for a minute before they stopped aching and I could blink the room around me into focus. It wasn't as nasty as the hostage quarters there were at the Volturi. There was a (subtly barred) window, a carpet, curtains and the bed felt quite comfortable with a duvet and duvet cover. It was like a simple hotel room. It even had a door that could be to some kind of bathroom. I couldn't see a radiator however, and so it felt quite cold.

And Edward was standing by the door, by the light switch. He was looking around the room, and then he said,

"They forgot. I'll be back in a moment. Try anything and you will regret it, I promise." And he went out, locking the door behind him. I immediately went to the window. It looked out onto… a beach? No, it was a photo, lit from behind. So there was another room behind this one and the light coming from the window was lit from behind. I looked around and went for any gaps I could spot, knowing this may be the only chance I got. I went for the corner of the carpet. I tried yanking it up, and it gave for a moment but then I got to the planks underneath. I smiled and set it back. Then I went to the door. No chance. Though it was wooden and looked thin, tapping on it told me it was thick and strong. I searched around the room- an air vent. Far too small, nothing like the size that I might be able to fit into. But it blew in cold air. So this was where the pain started. They were going to make me cold.

Ah well, could be worse. No one had assaulted me yet, or even questioned me. And I was in a reasonably comfortable room. My eyes suddenly fell on the wardrobe in the corner. It had two drawers underneath and two doors above, which I opened. It might be time for me to change into something a bit fresher. My hoodie and sweats seemed a bit sweaty and musty. There were a couple of sweats, three pairs of jeans and… a dress? I blinked, not believing my eyes. Why on earth had someone put a dress in here?

It looked quite expensive too… I looked at the label. Alessandro De Benedetti… with an elegant spider design. Sounded posh. They couldn't be serious. I looked around the dress, was there a rip or a stain anywhere? It felt new, but then I felt something. Running my hand along the seam, I felt something sticking up. I flipped it over to find a name-tag sewn onto the bottom hem carefully in blue as if it was part of the design.

_Alice Brandon_

My jaw dropped.

"I picked it out." I heard the door shut just as the velvet voice came at my ear.

"Get away from me please." I requested, his close proximity was making shivers of hate shudder down my spine. He didn't move. I pulled my foot forward and swiftly slammed it into his shin. I heard him move away, and so I pulled the dress out in disbelief. It was a long, pale sky blue, one-shoulder number of a floaty material designed for a runway. It had two parts, which meant two strappy things pulled over the one shoulder, one a tight fit all the way down to the ankles the other looser, trailing down to the ankles like a train. I couldn't believe my eyes. They thought I'd fit in that? It was tiny.

I put it back and opened the drawers underneath. There were tops and flats and heels and jewellery. What was this? All of it was designer and looked fresh of a runway. I raided through it until I found a dark polo shirt with 'Hollister' written across the front. It was a size too small, but I pulled it out. I threw them on the bed, and went into the room I assumed was the bathroom. There was a tiny window high up on the wall of frosted glass and a handle to open it. There wasn't any way I could reach it and no way I could get out from it, but it was good to have some connection to the outside world, I considered. There was a small shower, toilet, sink, mirror and a set of drawers nailed to the floor. I opened one. Underwear.

Yuck. Silky, lacy underwear. What on earth?? They must be more hand-me-downs. Urgh. I opened the top one and found toiletries and such like. I went back through into my room and picked up the clothes to change. Edward had brought a chair in with him, and sat it on a corner and parked his ass on it.

Right. So he was going to stay there. Thank God I had a bathroom or I wouldn't have anywhere to change. I went in and locked the door. I used the toilet and the shower, changing into the new clothes, with new horrible lacy underwear. The shower kept going from tepid to freezing cold, so I had goose pimples and was icy pale when I went back through. Edward didn't move when I went back in, so I went to the bed and curled up in the duvet, shivering.

"You ready to go down for dinner?" Time for dinner already. I guessed so. I looked around and saw a clock on the wall. Half eight. I was freezing, so I nodded, going back to the closet to find some kind of jacket. Nothing. Only a light chiffon beige thing that I couldn't dream the purpose of. I slammed the door in disgust and turned to Edward. He had his arm out. I raised my eyebrow.

"Would you join me for dinner, Miss…?" He asked, trying for a surname as well. My eyebrows went higher.

"Swan." I made up. "I'm coming if I have to but there's no way I'm touching _you_ on purpose." I spat. He shrugged and dropped his arm.

"Fine. Make it difficult." He said, approaching me. I stepped back, wary. "If you'd said yes, there would be no need for these." And he produced the gags and ties again. I made a disgusted face and shied away. He sighed, and suddenly lunged for my wrist, so fast I didn't see the movement, and yanked me towards him so my face was inches from his own. He kept me there, holding my wrists to his chest for a moment, looking into my eyes. Lost in the kaleidoscope greens of his eyes, I didn't realise immediately he was tying them together. Only when he pulled my locked wrists over his neck did I realise, and then it was too late.

My eyes widened in shock first, then I realised he was doing it so his hands were free to tie up my eyes. But I saw him smirk at my shock and disgust before my vision went. When it was done, he froze, holding his hands on the back of my head.

"Move." I tried.

"I could just leave you like this, to make things even more awkward." He laughed and I felt my blush warm my face at the feel of his breath on my face. He stroked my cheek and I yanked myself back, struggling to pull my hands from around his neck. He laughed again, and pulled my wrists from around him. He didn't let go of them, and led me to the door.

He removed the blindfold once he had set me down on a stiff wooden seat and sat himself beside me. He then untied my hands, but kept one wrist in his grip under the table. I frowned at him, as it was my right hand. But then I thought, why should I need it? Just looking at the food, their food, made me want to retch.

So I looked around the room, unable to escape but assessing my options. It was a formal dining room, with a window like the one in my room. Much bigger, with a dark image of a large garden, with a fountain, at night. Rich heavy curtains swung at the sides and the carpet and chairs were the same subtly rich rouge colour. At the door stood two large men in tuxes, I assumed to guard it. We were the only two seated at the table so far. I was at one end of the long wooden table, covered by a gray gauze tablecloth with several silver platters with salads in them. As I said, sickening. What on earth possessed them to live like this? And why had they brought me with them? I'd prefer bread and cheese in a dungeon to this confusing treatment that left me wondering exactly what my purpose was here. Edward still hadn't released my wrist.

The doors swung open, and three men came in. The first looked so much like a movie star my jaw dropped. He was wearing a suit, with a weird Japanese-looking shirt that came up his neck like a vicar's collar. He was blond, and quite muscular from what I could see of the tight fit of his suit, but very slender. It wasn't real. He was quite tall too, about 6 ft 2, but the two men behind him were both taller than him. One I recognised from his bulging muscles and dark curly hair- Emmett. The suit looked strange and formal on him, as did the blank expression. Then he winked at me. I frowned and looked at the other man. I recognised him too, from a photo in my file. He was Edward's school friend, Jasper Hale. He was lean, with very short honey blond hair and a piercing gaze with ice-blue eyes which he shot at me.

His hands and neck shocked me. They were covered in the white lines that indicated scarring- knife wounds by the look of it. I hadn't seen them in the photograph, but they were obvious to me because they were the kind of thing I had been trained to spot immediately. This was a man who had been attacked many times… and survived. Not one I wanted to argue with. But I knew I probably would anyway.

The blonde movie-star took the head of the table, Jasper Hale at his right and Emmett at his left. There was one seat, between me and Emmett, that was empty. No one started to eat, and I assumed we were waiting for the missing person.

After about one silent minute, the doors opened and the gorgeous blonde Rosalie walked in, dressed in a formal silky pleated cocktail dress that finished about one fifth of the way down her long thigh. Her long golden hair came down past her elbow, tied in a messy knot that spilled out. She swept to the seat on my left.

"Good evening, Rosalie. And Bella, our new addition. Shall we begin?" The blond said, I recognised his voice from earlier. He served himself from the dish in front of him, as did everyone else, and they began sharing it out. Edward had let go of my wrist, and I sat making no effort to fill my plate.

"Come on, Bella." Edward muttered. "Remember, do not make things difficult." I ignored him, sitting back in my chair. Edward put salad on my plate for me, and I made no move towards it as everyone else tucked in.

"Do you not like the food, Bella?" The blond asked politely. It was giving me the creeps. I shouldn't be here. It didn't help that, once serving himself and me, Edward put his hand in my lap to reclaim my wrist. I immediately dropped it to my side, but it made me even more uncomfortable.

"I'm not hungry." I said in monotone.

"Isn't there anything you would like-"

"Nothing." I stopped him short, glaring at him. He looked at me sadly, and continued eating.

"It won't last long." Edward and Rosalie said together. I twisted my wrist in Edward's grip and he smirked again, tightening his grip. He was blocking the bloodflow now and I felt my hand going limp.

"So, Bella. I will start with a question that I have to have the answer to. However long you stay with us, I will have the answer." The blond said.

"And if I don't know it?" I asked.

"I will have the answer, Bella. You won't be released until I know." I shrugged. Moody git.

"What has happened to Esme Roberts?" He asked calmly, but I felt every pair of eyes boring into mine. My eyes widened. Where did I know that name? Esme… Esme Cullen… _Adopted daughter of_ Esme Roberts_, partner of Carlisle Cullen. _Alice's adopted mother… partner of Carlisle Cullen?

"Are you Carlisle Cullen?" That name I _had_ heard before- I was speaking with the notorious leader of the Cullen Clan. He nodded.

"So you know her?" He asked, and to my surprise I detected an undercurrent of desperation in his silky voice. Déjà vu. I had heard his voice before- he asked me to 'Tell him about Esme Roberts.' Definitely his partner then. I'd never heard of a strong bond between people in this business. That was why I'd put any thoughts of a romantic life out of my head. But what else? Her name was bothering something else hidden in my memories. Oh yes, _This includes Elise Nepal, Zafrina Amozionan, Eleazar Denali, Benjamin Cairo, Alice Brandon and _Esme Roberts. Hostages Edward listed.

He desperately wanted to know what had happened, I could see it in his eyes. But I just didn't know.

"All I know," I told him, "is that she is your partner, Alice Brandon's adopted mother, and that she," I motioned to Edward, "is a hostage of the Volturi." I finished, letting honestly lace my words.

"Is that all you know? You will be tortured anyway, you might as well say all you know anyway." This was the first actual reference to torturing me. _Much_ more like it. Something I was prepared for, could deal with. I couldn't deal with this twisted care and priority, Edward's proximity. Especially Edward. Torture was fine, I could deal with that. I almost smiled.

"It's all I know, Carlisle Cullen. I am-" I stopped myself before I let myself apologize. No way was I showing any politeness to these people. Let them torture me. Carlisle turned around to a girl I hadn't noticed dressed like a waitress would, standing behind him. She had bouncy red curls that seemed out of place at this formal dinner, she looked too young.

"It's true." The girl said.

"What the-?" I asked. Edward leaned to whisper in my ear, and I curled away from him, but he pulled my wrist down and towards him, forcing my ear to his lips. I blushed when I realised Rosalie had not missed this exchange.

"Maggie has a strange ability to know when she is being lied to." He murmured. Rosalie frowned at him, but he gave a shrug that seemed to say something like _Why not_? I didn't get it. Rosalie had a point, why tell me that kind of thing? Now I just _wouldn't talk_ while Maggie was around. I didn't want them knowing whether I was lying. But Edward was confusing me no end. And Rosalie seemed to understand another meaning to his shrug because she smiled coyly at him and turned back to Carlisle. What on earth was going on?

For the rest of the dinner I was surprised to notice that no-one else tried grilling me for information. Guess they were waiting for the torture I was waiting for. I didn't say anything else, and I tried not to speak either, because of Maggie.

It was so strange, though. They were talking about being at school, schooldays, things Edward and Jasper got up to, where Rosalie met Emmett… it was like a family. Very unexpected. And occasionally, when Edward was telling a story or laughing about something, he would squeeze my wrist and look into my eyes as if I might join in the laughter and talking.

I've lived a life with no friends or family. But never did I feel as alone as I did then.

**Okay, so very long chapters take a very long time. Do you prefer long chapters and slow updates or short chapters and quick updates? **

**And also, for the next chapter, do you want me to continue the dinner scene so you can hear some of the stuff they were talking about, Edward's behaviour etc or do you want to go onto the next stage? Please tell me. **

**And do you like the direction I've taken this story? VERY important, I need to know what you think. Congratulations and for guessing right about what was going on!**

**Please please please review. I really like this story, but I've got two others and these chapters take a very long time, so I want to know people are reading this and enjoying it. It only takes a minute to review and it makes me really happy. I will update faster if I know people are reading and enjoying. This is on 15 people's favourites so far, so if you could all review I will put a lot of effort into making another chapter, and updating it quickly. Please review! **

**And thank you everyone who already has!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Whoa, sorry its taken so long to update, iv been busy and geez this is a long chapter! (longest yet! yay!) 7145 words of action, hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 5**

When we got back to my room I could have sworn it had dropped ten degrees. It was freezing. And I had no idea what I was meant to wear for bed- I couldn't remember seeing any pyjamas. Edward still had my wrist when he shut the door. When he turned back to me, he looked at my eyes for a moment- our faces very close, before I took a step back and looked pointedly at my wrist. He released it immediately, and I went for the closet.

"Are you gonna stay here all night?" I asked, while rummaging in the drawers for pyjama-looking things.

"Tonight, I think. I'll sleep in the chair. I'll ask tomorrow to see if they're organising anyone for a night shift." He replied. Just as I was about to give up and sleep in sweats- my hands came across a silky brown material. I pulled it out.

"You've got to be kidding me." I muttered. A chocolate-brown silk nightie with spaghetti straps and black lace lining the neckline. I checked the label- Victoria's Secret. Ew. And I'd freeze wearing that. I decided I'd put my big hoodie over it and sleep like that- but it did leave my legs uncovered and cold. I found some socks but they were only ankle ones. Better than nothing.

I changed in the bathroom, and when I came out having brushed my teeth and showered, I caught Edward ogling at my legs. It took him a moment to realise he'd been caught, and when he did he shut his eyes before snapping his head away.

"I'm sorry- staring into space- you know- it's- it's not like I was…" He stammered. I raised my eyebrows.

"What a guy." I murmured, and to my surprise, he heard me, and his eyes snapped back up at me.

"It's not my fault. You should cover your legs." I shrugged. I was going to be under a duvet in a moment, why bother. But then I realised he didn't notice because he was staring again. I sighed and got into bed. It was freezing- as if the duvet had been hanging out of the window for the last ten minutes. But I was exhausted for some reason, and I curled up into a ball, shaking violently with cold.

I drifted into a cold, fitful sleep. My brain dredged up old nightmares of bad memories- being kept outside on a winter's night in a silk outfit, having my arm plunged into a barrel of freezing cold water half frozen with the other being held above shaking hot coals, someone occasionally brushing my arm against them so they burnt, and having my feet pushed into boiling water- the dreams were all about severe temperature torture, and when I remembered them later I realised most of them were not real memories but merely created from the sheer cold of that night. I woke with a start and a gasping cry after one of them- I couldn't quite remember it but I knew something was happening to my eyes- and I didn't realise why I felt different until my eyes adjusted and I saw Edward sitting on the edge of my bed.

I pushed myself away from him, suddenly terrified, my dreams making me over-emotional.

"D-Did you wake me up?" I stuttered, my teeth chattering with the cold. He nodded. I couldn't make my mouth open again to ask why, but I motioned for him to get off the bed. It was really scaring me, and I hadn't even realised why yet.

But he stayed there- and I couldn't see the look in his eyes as he shook his head. I realised I was scared he was going to rape me- this was the time someone would- and my memory conjured up past situations I was not ready to relive. My body froze- not just from the cold- but the way a lamb might when confronted with a lion, too shocked to move.

Then he got up and moved away, and my body relaxed, which meant it started convulsing from the cold again, and I wrapped the duvet all around me- too cold to get up and put on any more layers. Instead of lying back down, I scrunched myself up against the wall, somehow not wanting to be vulnerable to Edward and have my back to him. I couldn't- didn't- trust him.

I think I sat there for about an hour, watching Edward until he fell back to sleep, before I fell asleep again myself. This time the memories were vigorous, violent and painful. I woke up again with a shriek, and glanced around me in fear- but Edward was on the other side of the room still. My scream had woken him up, and he was watching me.

I was shaking not only from cold now, but from horror at the vividness of my dreams. I had no security- in the dreams or in that room- and I felt just as vulnerable as I did that night I was kept out in winter in silk. My eyes were shutting again despite the unceasing shaking and horror, but they popped open again when I heard Edward coming over.

Instead of sitting on the bed, this time he knelt at the side of the bed.

"Do you need to be held, Bella?" He asked so softly… and because I was just drifting off again I thought it was a dream. So I nodded in the safety of thinking it wasn't real. He climbed up onto the bed with me and pulled apart my limbs which were clutching each other with iron strength, holding myself in a ball.

He straightened me out, and covered me with the blanket, tucking all of me under it, then slipped in himself and held me to him. I felt his raised skin and realised he was freezing too. Then I realised that my imagination would not have produced that on it's own- this had to be real. But I was too tired, cold and stiff, and he felt too warm and strong, for me to protest.

The security I'd needed a minute ago came with the cold arms wrapped around me like steel bars. I fell into a deep slumber, and remembered nothing else of what happened that night.

When I woke up, pale sunlight was filtering through a frosted window, and Edward's arms were still around me. One arm was clenched around my ribs quite tightly, I was surprised I hadn't woken up because it was quite difficult to breathe, and the other was hooked under my arm and his fingers entwined in my hair. He felt a lot warmer now, and so did I.

But somehow I'd twisted- in my sleep?- so we were facing each other like lovers. His nose was buried in my hair, and his breath was blowing through my hair, making my scalp tickle. I hadn't seen his face so close before- and now I could see details I missed when his eyes were open. He hadn't shaved and so had stubble around his thin face, and his long hair was falling in his eyes. I then realised that my arm was around his waist- and my other had reached up behind his back, to his neck.

I yanked them away in horror, and he stirred. In shock I fell out of the bed- dragging the blanket with me- and I heard a groggy moan from above me. Hoping he hadn't opened his eyes yet, I crawled along the floor- too stiff to take off the duvet- and got into the bathroom. When I got up my legs stretched with cramps, as if they'd been bruised. When I stripped to get into the shower, I saw that I did have bruises, fresh ones rippling under my scarred skin around my chest. He must have been holding me very tightly. The idea creeped me out a little.

When I came out of the shower I realised I hadn't taken any new clothes in with me, so I wrapped two towels around me- one around my body and one around my shoulders, and cursed that none of them were long enough to cover my legs. I crept out hoping he was turned the other way- but to my embarrassment _he_ was changing! He was facing the window, with fresh trousers on but shirtless, with a new one in his hand. He didn't notice me immediately- but as I was frozen in the doorway, staring at his back, eventually he noticed and spun around. I blushed deeper than I have ever before, and turned away to get some clothes out of the closet.

Just as I bent down to search the drawers I felt something cool touch my neck.

"Touché." A velvet voice chuckled softly from behind me, and I whipped around, getting up at the same time, to find myself an inch away from his face. Again. He still hadn't got a shirt on, and with that and his smouldering eyes I didn't know where to look. The finger that had stroked my neck came round to my chin, where it stroked my cheek. His eyes followed his movements, fascinated. I shuddered, wondering what on earth he was doing. He smiled a crooked smile as he met my gaze, as if we were sharing a joke.

But I'm sure I looked a cross between horrified and very confused, and his face dropped at the same time as his hand. He took a few steps back, pulling his shirt on.

"Sorry." He said, when his shirt covered his face. I shuddered again, and bent quickly, grabbing whatever clothes came to hand before almost running back into the bathroom. I shut and locked the door. I was shaking again, trying to distract myself and not wonder what on earth he was doing. I barely noticed what I was putting on, and when I came back out Edward's back was to me. He started talking as he turned around.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to offend-" He stopped and his eyes bulged as they raked my body. That was when I looked down and realised what I'd put on. The shirt was nice- a thin indigo colour, sleeveless… and freezing. But the skirt… it was also blue, very tight and very short. I cursed internally, but I couldn't change now. I went to the closet and grabbed some flats and a cardigan.

When I turned around Edward was still staring at my body. He crossed the room in a few short steps, making my heart jump in fear again.

"Great." I didn't know if he was talking to me, about me or just to himself. "Would you come with me to breakfast, Bella?" He took my hand as he spoke, making my heart jump again, and I tried to twist it out of his grip- I preferred being held by my wrist, but his fingers were too interlinked with mine to come free.

I didn't reply, so he led me to the door and out to the corridor. It was the first time I'd been walked out without a blindfold. The corridors reminded me of a hospital- they had a clean, sterilised look. I felt everyone we passed's eyes on his hand clutching mine, and I wondered again what on earth his game was.

He took me inside the same room we had eaten in before, still holding my hand. I saw Rosalie's eyes take in our hands immediately. It was such a little difference, he'd had my wrist before, but somehow it carried a whole different meaning when he was holding my hand. It wasn't like I couldn't get free, I'd been struggling with his grip since we left my room. I hated it, I hated imagining what people were thinking about the fact the hostage had 'let' Edward hold her hand.

The table was laden with all the most delicious breakfast things I could imagine. A lot of the pastry things I hadn't even seen before, but I was going to stick to not eating anything. There wasn't much I could do about my situation, but any resistance I could do, I would. But my stomach growled softly when I took it in, and I was thirsty beyond belief.

Edward noticed I wasn't eating when everyone else was filling their plates. I watched everyone else, my mouth watering- Rosalie put an apple and a branch of grapes, Emmett had filled his with a full cooked breakfast, as did Carlisle and Jasper. Edward had some toast. He put some on my plate too, trying to be discreet, but I glared at him. I was desperate for a glass of water.

When everyone was almost done, Edward took my hand again under the table. My shoulder jerked away instinctively, my elbow clicked, and he sighed at my reaction. Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear,

"Bella, you have to eat. Do not be stupid." His lips paused at my ear, he inhaled, then leaned back to look at my face. His breath had left my mind thoughtless for a moment, then I registered what he had said and shook my head weakly. I was dying from hunger, but now I'd started this I was going to finish it.

Also, I thought, being desperately hungry might stimulate my brain into action and it would make me more desperate to leave. And it left me in discomfort, which was oddly comforting because I'd been treated so well and it made me very suspicious, so the discomfort made me feel the situation was more real.

"Edward, may I speak to you after breakfast please?" Carlisle asked.

Edward nodded, and Rosalie turned to look at Carlisle.

"Yes, you can stay too, Rosalie." He turned back to Edward. "Walk Bella back up to her room, then come straight back down. Is that all right, Bella?" I looked up, startled. Why did he think it wouldn't be? I'd be relieved with Edward out of my room. Carlisle was watching me, waiting for an answer.

"That's great." I croaked. Ugh, I was thirstier than I thought I was. Edward looked at me again. I didn't see his expression. I then noticed that the hand he was holding, was on my lap so his fingers, spread out, holding my hand still, were touching my leg. I gasped in disgust and slid both hands off. I saw him slip another crooked smile my way.

Edward almost pushed me back into my room, then locked me in. I immediately went for the weak spot in the carpet I had found before, and pulled it up again. I pushed the carpet under my legs so I could lean forward and try the boards. They seemed to give a bit when I pulled them with my nails. I needed something to lever them up with- I should steal some cutlery next time I went down or something. I put the carpet back.

I suddenly remembered I should probably check for microphones. I cringed at the thought of anyone witnessing me and Edward last night. I ran my hand over all the furniture, trying to find an odd bump, anything out of place. I ran my hand along the top of the inside of the cupboard- ah. A wire… I felt along it until I came across a tiny microphone. I yanked it out, and pulled it off the wire. I was sure it probably wasn't the only one, and as I threw it away I looked at the bed. I shimmied under it after checking the frame and under the mattress. I found another one wired onto the leg. I broke that one, too. Then the door opened.

"Well, this is a surprise." I heard Edward chuckle. "What are you doing under the bed?" I pushed myself out and shook the dust out of my hair. He saw the broken microphone in my hand. "Ah." He came over and pulled it out of my hand. "How many others have you found?" I frowned at him. He was still touching my hand, not moving his hand away after taking the bug. He sighed.

"You're being so _difficult_, Bella." He fumed angrily, throwing the bug in the bin. _Is he kidding me?_ I thought.

"Well," I began sarcastically, my stored frustration suddenly pouring out and gritting my voice, making it stable but dark with anger, "I can't think why. I was never going to be a cooperative hostage- the child of the Volturi! What did you expect, Cullen? You can give me twisted care, and hold off with the torture, but I'm nothing if not loyal and stubborn. I'm not going to talk and eat with my captors, I'm not going to be polite and help you. I'm a bloody Volturi! I hate your f*cking organisation!"

He leaned towards me, his eyes stirring trouble in my mind.

"Would you really rather be back with the Volturi, Bella?" He murmured, his eyes looking at my lips.

I thought about it. It wasn't that much different really. With the Volturi, it wasn't really 'home', it never had been. I had no friends, no one to miss. I was in better conditions here, but I was so scared they were going to turn on me- like the Volturi had constantly- that I wouldn't let myself relax or even try to figure out why they were being so nice to me, or even form a conversation with anyone. It was like I was so-

Suddenly there was pressure on my lips, breaking my thoughts and scattering my brain. _Edward had kissed me._

In fact he still was. He was just pressing his lips to mine, no more, with his eyes open to assess my reaction. I had a moment to notice my heart had exploded, then stuttered and started back up with a jagged rhythm, there was a extraordinary feeling in my chest, not good or bad, just as if my stomach had rocketed up out of my chest. My face was hot and my breath was sucked away- I think I forgot to breathe.

Then my instincts kicked in, and my head yanked back until it hit the bedpost. Edward stayed exactly where he had been, a crooked smirk playing on his lips.

"What _the hell _was that?" I gasped. Before this kidnapping ordeal I would have bet my life that Aro had prepared me for anything the Cullen Clan could do to me. But now… I was breathless and shocked.

He shrugged. "Rosalie suggested it. I wanted to see how you would react… and-" he paused and grinned, "I guess I wanted to." I blinked, still not understanding.

"_Rosalie_? What…? What are you doing to me? Is this… Is this some kind of-" I was going to say brainwashing… it was the only reason I could think of. I hated not being able to be able to form sentences, but I wasn't even speechless, more… thoughtless. I didn't know what to think.

If it was brainwashing, why did he say he _wanted_ to? I guessed I had noticed he was attracted to me- he'd been staring at- and touching- my legs. But that was lust, I reminded myself. I'd even felt a flash of it when I'd seen him without his shirt. I wanted to claw that thought out of my head as soon as I produced it.

These new feelings were so alien to me- I couldn't stand the attraction my body had to the body of the person whose mind and character I couldn't stand. I couldn't stand being around him but somehow my body had a pull to him, and I had physical reactions to seeing him. And I really hated that I was so lost and confused, with such new feelings… when Edward _clearly was_ experienced and knew what he was doing. I saw myself as an equal with Edward, and didn't want to be the weak one.

Edward didn't reply, he just watched my face, which despite my efforts to keep a straight face, was probably showing some of the turmoil I was suffering.

"What I wouldn't give to know your thoughts right now…" He mumbled, still staring into my eyes.

He was far too close- his face still where I had left it. I couldn't think when I was falling in his eyes, feeling his breath on my face still. But neither could I break his gaze. What was this power he had? Not even Aro could have paralysed me like this!

Every time his breath washed over my face I lost concentration and I couldn't continue any thoughts I was having. Not to mention my body was fighting to pull itself back to Edward's body- a teenage hormonal reaction. I bit my lip to stop myself, and brought up a shaky hand to push Edward's shoulder away. My body didn't want to push him away, so the action was weak and feeble. Edward didn't move.

"I can't…" I whispered, willing myself to find the strength to push him away, move away. But my body was trapped like a rabbit caught in the gaze of a serpent. Edward leaned forward for a moment, then pushed himself away, and moved himself so he was sitting against the wall next to the bed. I took a long-awaited breath as my lungs suddenly began to function again.

"Sorry, that was wrong, Bella. I shouldn't have done that to you." Edward said after a long silence.

My body wanted to screech disagreement, but I managed to nod weakly, looking down at my knees.

"I won't do it again," He said solemnly, but then added, "unless you ask me to." My head snapped up in surprise, and he smirked at me. I returned the smile, relieved that he was joking. But his behaviour was leaving me several moves behind. And I had only ever been in charge of the chessboard.

"I don't get you people." I told him.

"What do you mean, Bella?" My body twitched to hear him say my name.

"Why are you being so... courteous?" _Well, except for the kiss,_ I thought dryly. "What do you want from me?" Edward tilted his head and surveyed me.

"Why should we not? You haven't been any threat to us, you haven't hurt any of us-"

"Just you wait…" I muttered while he was talking.

"-and we aren't unnecessarily violent." He said, staring at me that made me frown. I realised he was reprimanding me. I raised my eyebrows. "Well, the Volturi are well known for exactly the opposite. Elise Nepal?" He asked me, glaring. I held his gaze viciously.

"She deserved it." I spat.

"She was barely seventeen, Bella. How is that justified?" He asked, an icy edge lacing his voice. Only seventeen? Younger than me.

"You've kidnapped an eighteen year old." I reminded him, matching his glare.

"And we haven't harmed her. At all. How can you justify what happened to Elise?" He asked.

"You know what happened to her?" I asked, surprised. He inclined his head. "How?" He ignored me, motioning for me to answer his question. "She deserved it. She lied."

"But the pain- how could you be human enough to do that to a seventeen year old girl?" I was shocked with how much he knew. I didn't know how they had killed her, but they had told me various killing methods before, and I could imagine that Elise was not killed humanely.

"I was prepared for your organisation to treat me like that." I said. Edward's eyes bulged. He looked sickened. Suddenly he was very close again, holding my arm, pulling up my sleeve. He brushed my sleeve. I yanked my arm away, trying to move away from him. He wouldn't let me go though. He held my arm in one of his hands, with a vice-like grip. He pulled me closer to him. I shrank away from the fury in his eyes.

"Is that how you got these, Bella?" He growled. I struggled to get away from him, scratching at his hands. But he caught my other wrist, and continued staring into my eyes angrily, waiting for an answer. I turned my head away, and he caught my shoulders tightly. I still didn't meet his gaze.

I was full of hate, hatred of him, myself, my scars, what the Volturi had done to me- to prepare me, yet they hadn't prepared me for this kind of treatment, or with answers for this kind of question. I stopped struggling for a moment and Edward relaxed, which let me use my momentum to make him let go. I leant towards him, and kept going until my shoulder hit the floor and so I rolled over him and across the floor. It took a moment, and I was free of his grip. Edward stared at me, astounded.

"How much were you prepared for our meeting, Bella?" I knew what he was asking, but I avoided it.

"It is the point of my life." I spat bitterly. Edward looked down.

"It was, Bella. It doesn't have to be any more." He mumbled.

"I'm not fit to do anything else, Edward. Either I'll die here, or they'll get hold of me there and I'll die with them."

"We won't kill you, Bella." _I_ might though, I thought.

"Then you'll have to keep me locked up." I replied.

"You're not now." He murmured.

"Not yet." They'll feel differently after an escape attempt.

"Would you go back, Bella?" He asked. It was like he could read my mind.

"Yes." I answered instantly. How could I not?

There was a long pause. I realised how cold I had got, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I thought about Edward's reactions, what he had said. Why had he reacted so strongly to my scars? His must be more hidden, I guessed. Or maybe…

"Have you ever been… prepared?" I asked. He looked up.

"Abused?" He said bluntly. I nodded. "No. Never." He'd never been prepared for physical abuse? How would he have survived with his treatment if the tables had been turned, and he'd been the one kidnapped. I shuddered. My scars were nothing compared to what they might do to him.

"But… what would you… ?" I stammered, unable to really form a question, my head was so full of them. I shivered.

"But it hasn't been… normal… to be brought up here, Bella." I raised my eyebrows. No shit.

"They sent me to school-"

"I know." He raised his eyebrows but continued.

"- but I never fit in, or anything. I was tutored alone until I went to the school. My sister was the only other child I knew until then."

"Your sister?"

"Alice Brandon." That… made sense. Esme Roberts' adopted daughter, and Carlisle Cullen's son. She was in Volturi imprisonment now however, I reminded myself.

"What about Jasper Hale?" I asked. He met my eyes briefly.

"He wasn't in the good crowd in school. But he wasn't as obvious as some, either. I barely realised the world he brought me into until it was too late. They made me even more alone." I was shocked. If I had been involved with Jasper's type before, with the Volturi, they would have killed me. I was too valuable to be off my head.

"What happened?" I asked.

"The Cullen Clan got me off it immediately when I got back. I haven't touched it since. They didn't realise who, though."

"So they don't know about-"

"Exactly. He left and went to military school. His sister however, was charming her way up the ranks here. Suddenly we caught the link, and Jasper was brought in. He taught us a lot when he first came. He was a very good spy. Despite our connections with the government, we still have to have spies in them, telling us the things the government do not. Why they wanted Marcus Ravioletti killed, for example.

But then, a new officer was climbing up the government ranks who seemed about to beat out Jasper from his job, at the same time that they were starting to get suspicious. Instead of admitting that that was a good excuse to leave his job, Jasper clung to it tighter. He's very competitive, and he had met his match with this new officer. He started spending less time here because he was clinging onto his job.

But finally they demoted him so that this newcomer could take his place. Jasper became furious- he has an extraordinary temper when he is provoked. And he organised for his sister- a training assassin at this point- to get rid of the new officer.

He picked the weekend that the officer was on leave, and was going to stay in town with some friends for two nights before going back to work. He was staying in a hotel on the edge of the city to detract attention, but when he got back, Rosalie was waiting for him in his room. It might have worked, and he might have died if he hadn't been drunk.

He couldn't open the door when he got back, and ended up breaking the door down. Rose had a movement sensor wired behind the door because she was further in the suite and he saw it when he broke the door down. It sobered him up pretty quickly, and he ran out. He got down to his car, and saw her on the balcony. She couldn't shoot him on an open street, so she bolted out just as he got into his car."

This was sounding a bit too James Bond for me. And I was cold and hungry, so I couldn't concentrate. I got up and got the hoodie I had worn the night before. I huddled up on the floor as far from Edward as I could, but I doubted he would notice. I wondered why he was telling me all of this. He must have been pretty sure I would never be able to leave if he was giving me the background on some important tosser in the Cullen Clan. Was he trying to get me to open up by opening up himself? This could all be lies. It certainly didn't sound very true.

I nodded to myself. That must be it, he was making it up. I rested my forehead on my knees and listened to his voice like a bedtime story. My stomach clenched painfully. I began to wonder if refusing food was really necessary. Would it make them let me go, or treat me worse? In an odd way, the discomfort made me feel better about the situation, as if it was more real because I wasn't comfortable.

"- and he ran into the bar because-" He continued.

"She couldn't shoot him with people around." I finished.

"Yes, and she came in shortly after and sat close to him. Then the-"

For someone brought up in the Volturi, stories like this still bored me. Very unrealistic, I thought. I shivered again in the cold, and my eyes closed…

Next thing I knew, I was in my bed, rocking with cold. Was it just me, or had my blanket got thinner? The cold was biting into my head, and whistling in my ears. My teeth were shattering and my skin shaking, anything to try to warm up. It was still light, probably early afternoon. And my stomach was also moaning loudly, and contracting painfully.

"Bella?" I heard a shaky voice ask. "Are you all right?" His teeth were chattering from the cold too. Why was this bed so cold? With all the other treatment they'd given me, it was something very unexpected that Edward hadn't mentioned it yet.

"You've been invited to a lunch meeting with Carlisle." He told me. I groaned incoherently. I started when I felt Edward's cold hand on mine. I pulled away, and he sighed.

"Come on, Bella." He groaned, exasperated. I still didn't move, frozen by his touch, and he made an angry noise before yanking the blanket off me, pulling me upright and pulling off my hoodie. Still caught in groggy sleep, I tried to push him away but then realised my top was being pulled up with the hoodie and withdrew quickly to pull it down. This let Edward pull it off.

"There. Now you're more presentable." He got up from the floor and went into the bathroom. I shivered again, and ran my fingers through my messy hair. He came back with a hairbrush.

When I felt more presentable I sighed and got up to go. Edward took me, as usual, but I managed to avoid letting him take my hand. He took my upper arm instead. He opened a new door into a meeting room, and released me, pushing the small of my back so I was forced in. Then the door shut, him behind it. I looked around, bewildered. He hadn't followed me in.

"Good afternoon, Bella. Please sit down." I turned around again. Carlisle was sitting at a long table, alone, with various lunch dishes such as pasta, salad and sandwiches in front of him. My stomach rumbled loudly. Carlisle laughed. "It is time now that you ate something. You are going to get ill, and it is completely unnecessary." I frowned.

"What will you do if I don't?" I challenged. His smile dropped.

"You will, Bella. When you realise that if you don't, you will die."

"But what if that's what I-"

"It's not. You will see that, in time. Please sit." I sat down at a seat that had the least amount of food in front of it. My mouth was watering, and it was taking all of my self control to ignore it. "Eat. Bella."

"What is this about?" I asked Carlisle, ignoring his command. I was fed up of this sugar coating.

"I need to know everything you know about our hostages." He replied bluntly, serving himself cold pasta. Well, now it's started, I thought. How long was it going to take before they started to torture? I wasn't going to tell him anything that would be useful to him or difficult for the Volturi.

"And what would you intend to do with that information?" I asked, trying to look _anywhere_ but the food.

"I have to know whether they are alive."

"Why?" My stomach was rumbling.

"Because I care about them, Bella. Who do you know about?"

That threw me. Why would he care? Or if he was lying, why did he think that argument would sway me?

He had started eating now, and that made my own hunger more difficult to deal with. I needed something to distract myself from the food. So I started talking, without really deciding to.

"You have already heard what I know about Alice Brandon. I also know a little about Benjamin Cairo and Zafrina Amozionan." In fact, they were both extremely intelligent. Zafrina was incredibly good at making people change their minds, see her side of an argument and think what she wanted them to think. The Volturi wanted her to work for them, and so they hadn't even harmed her, but from what I had last heard she still wasn't agreeing. Benjamin Cairo was another story. He had been tortured mercilessly, but he showed immense strength and refused to crack. He also had great physical strength, which he had used to almost superhuman feats in escape attempts. I didn't know whether he had managed to escape, all I ever heard about him was rumours.

"Are they alive?" Carlisle asked.

"Zafrina is. I do not know about Benjamin." _Don't think about the food, Bella! Control yourself!_

I almost wanted to ask, why do you care? I had never heard Aro asking about anyone in the Volturi with any care in his voice, let alone the selfless love that I could hear- or was he putting on?- in Carlisle's voice. To my surprise, Carlisle started eating again, and asked no more questions. Huh. He only cared that they were alive. No asking what we had found out from them etc?

When he finished eating, he looked at my empty plate sadly- my stomach rumbled on time- and then said quietly,

"We are finished now." The door opened immediately. Edward, of course. I looked at Carlisle again. He had a earpiece. No doubt Maggie had been listening to our conversation. "Edward, would you take Bella back up to her room please? I'll have someone take up the remaining food." Edward looked at my plate. He frowned, then grabbed my arm and pulled me off the chair. I thought I heard Carlisle mutter 'Careful, Edward,' but I might have imagined it.

When we got into my room, Edward pushed me in forcefully before slamming the door and locking it. I was confused. Why was he so angry? I shivered- it was even colder now than it had been before. Edward stomped into the bathroom, so I settled myself to sit on the floor. I wished there was something else I could do here. I couldn't waste time worrying or being scared, because they were treating me so well. But there was nothing to do except be cold and hungry. And talk to Edward. I wished I could have a book or something.

Edward came back in and sat down opposite me, like a child.

"What can I do to make you eat, Bella?" He asked.

"Release me." I replied shortly.

"Something _I_ could do." Edward took one of my hands gently in his. I frowned. Why did he keep doing this to me? I hated the reactions my body made when he touched me. Being pulled of it's own accord by his scent and my hormones, my face leaned closer to his. A grin stretched across his face, and his lips opened.

The door opened and two people came in. I yanked my body back again- what was it doing?!- but Edward stayed where he was. He watched the people in the corner of his eyes as they put down the leftover lunch and left. Then he leaned closer to me.

"Where were we?" He asked, his eyes on my lips. I couldn't concentrate on talking, so I shook my head and leaned further back. The physical attraction I had for him was unreal. He sighed and leaned back himself. Then he got up and retrieved one of the lunch dishes.

"Don't." I moaned, remembering how painful lunch had been.

"I haven't eaten, Bella. Neither have you. You've got to be starving. And dead on your feet. No wonder you're so tired." He took a sandwich and offered it to me. When I shook my head, he started eating it himself. I got up to have a shower, feeling awkward and hungry.

I washed my hair and changed into the horrible silky nightgown. I wished I had leggings or something. That way I could be warmer and divert Edward's attention from my legs. I didn't need his attraction to me any more than my attraction to him. I still hadn't recovered from the almost kiss of a minute ago. My insides seemed to have lost mass, floating and dancing inside of me. My body was entertaining new feelings of attraction and lust and I couldn't control them.

I crawled under my blanket when I came out, and Edward went into the bathroom to change into pyjamas he'd seemed to have put here when I had been at lunch. He was wearing just black pyjama bottoms, and nothing on his chest. I averted my eyes, wondering at his nerve. It was freezing. I raised my eyebrows at him. I was shivering already, how could he stand it? He cocked an eyebrow at me, looking at the blanket.

He wanted to sleep in my bed again. I shook my head. He sat on the end of my bed.

"Look, Bella, it's really cold in here. We're both wearing about the same amount, so we're both going to freeze. So it makes sense that we sleep together, for warmth."

"Why don't you ask for another blanket?" I countered.

"They won't give this room another one." He replied. I frowned. What?

"Fine, sleep here. But you have to be outside the blanket." I demanded through my chattering teeth. Edward laughed quietly and slipped onto the bed, close to the thin blanket.

I tensed up, which didn't help me to get into sleep mode any, and my heart sped up- for no reason as far as I could see. Why couldn't my body behave and _listen to me_? I still had goose pimples on my arms, Edward's presence was not helping any. And it was making me more tense- if that was possible.

After about an hour I felt Edward's bare arms wrap around me tightly. I twisted around to push him away, but his eyes were shut and his breathing was deep. I was pretty sure he was sleeping. And his warm breath on my face made me warmer, and I could feel his heat more effectively now. I drifted off into a tense sleep.

I awoke in what seemed to be the early hours of the morning, and I wasn't sure if I was properly awake or dreaming. Edward's arms had tightened on me, pulling me to his chest. His arms had slipped under the blanket, but my sleepy mind didn't register this enough to care. One arm was holding me close to him around my waist. The other was draped around my shoulders with his fingers spreading up my neck into my hair. I drifted back to sleep, relaxing in his warm embrace.

I was woken up by a soft chuckle in my ear. Light was filtering through the window, preventing me from opening my eyes at first. So I just felt the arm against my throat, the face buried in my hair, the warm breath tickling my neck and the legs tangled up in my own. I'd twisted again in my sleep so my back was to him, and the arm up my back had moved to my throat. It felt uncomfortable, sinister in a way. I didn't like thinking he'd been holding me like this in my sleep.

I struggled, trying to free myself. But Edward held me to himself tighter, making my heart hammer against my chest. His legs moved and rustled the sheets, moving mine at the same time which made my heart's rhythm scatter and bound. Suddenly he flipped me on the bed so quickly I barely registered the movement. All of a sudden I was staring into a pair of beautiful green eyes. I'm sure my heart actually stopped in shock. My breath faltered, and he moved his face into my hair again, his lips at his ear. I felt him inhale- was he sniffing my hair?- and his legs tightened around mine for a moment.

And without warning, he was gone.

**Please review! If anyone has any ideas about what Edward is thinking, I'd be really interested to hear! *hint hint* ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapters tiny compared with the last one, I know, but its got all the drama of the last one and more wrapped in it's tiny size. Its also the end of a (very long) section of this story, so it needs to be short so I can start the next part. Also, I didn't get very many reviews for the last one and it made me really sad coz I know there are people out their reading this who just cba to make my day by reviewing. **

**Chapter 6**

I groaned and rolled out of bed, sunlight piercing my eyes. Edward was already sitting in the chair across the room. I must have fallen asleep again. It was warmer today. I stumbled towards the bathroom after grabbing some new clothes. Again, I made the mistake of not looking at them in my sleepy state. But luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as the skirt yesterday. It was a cowl neck thick brown sweater and a pair of dark brown jeans. Really warm for a day like today though. When I came out of the bathroom my body shot adrenaline in an electrical tingle down my skin before my brain realised why.

Edward wasn't in here. And he'd left the door open. Again, my brain reacted differently from my body. I was wary, suspicious, but my body yanked me to the door. Edward was standing just outside the door of course. But he hadn't seen me yet- he was staring out the window. I bolted in the opposite direction, knowing how foolish it was, but my adrenaline had forced me to a speed I'd never reached before. Soon I was at a staircase. As I raced down it I screeched at my body again- they could block off a staircase, this is so pointless!- but my desperation wrapped in adrenaline was impossible to resist. Stairs hammered under my feet, and I was deaf to anything else. So when I reached the bottom flight of stairs and saw through the gaps three armed guards waiting for me, forewarned, again my body took over. It didn't stop or retreat, but raced down the last flight.

But my eyes raked the guards in an instinct I had the Volturi to thank. I spotted something that made my heart jolt with excitement. One of the guards was young- just scraping himself out of adolescence. He looked frightened- I'm sure I didn't look that serene or gentle- and he hadn't remembered to cock his gun. I barrelled down the last twist of steps, using my momentum and speed to plough into him. He was forced off his feet, off the ground and he collided with the wall, me on top of him. I wrenched the gun out of his grip and cocked it as I swung it around, shooting both the other guards in two shots. My aim was hazy, and so as I got up, shooting the unfortunate young guard beneath me, I mercifully re-aimed and shot the other two men in the head so they wouldn't be in pain.

I whipped around to the door, gun still at the ready, and my heart felt a blunt blow which staggered me backwards with invisible force.

Edward was blocking the door.

Shit. How did he get there so fast? I raked his horrified face, looking at the dead men on the floor. I raised the gun again. I didn't know what to do. The adrenaline was seeping away, confronted with the impossible situation before me. Shooting Edward.

He swallowed, finally bringing his appalled eyes up to my own horrified gaze. Then he spoke, and his voice was deeper than I'd ever heard it before, sounding more adult and more like Carlisle than I'd ever heard him before.

"You couldn't shoot me." As he spoke I resolved to stop this before he could persuade me otherwise. But my body, having given the illusion that I now had the power back, had other ideas. My finger wouldn't move. It was like it had disconnected itself from my nervous system.

"You'll threaten, hoping I'll move. But you won't shoot me. You couldn't. Not one of your own kind." My heart sank, realising the truth of his words. I actually couldn't.

Always so different, so alone, even though I was cutting myself off from the one person who might have a glimpse of a similar life to mine, I couldn't make my body kill him. Christ, his presence was even making me regret the bodies whose blood was pooling around my feet. I wasn't born to regret.

"Move, Edward. Move _now_." I could hear the desperation in my tone. I'd never wished for anything more, my whole being was praying that Edward would end this horrible decision I was faced with. I could hear a shout, a plead, a beg, climbing up my throat.

Edward locked his jaw. I shot a warning blow above his head, finally forcing my finger to obey my demands. He didn't even flinch.

"Please, Edward." I croaked. "I don't want to shoot you. But I will." Now I could control my hand again, I had no choice.

I took the necessary steps forward, and held the gun to his head. He stared into my eyes. Then he moved out of the way of the door. I could barely feel relief, my blood was burning in my heart so painfully. I realised the door was locked.

In an instinctual reaction the gun came down in a lightning strike to shoot through the lock on the door. I felt Edward reach for me and swung back with the gun hand, hitting his face with the butt of the gun. I felt his momentum reel back and my legs shot me out the now open door before I could think of anything else. I was in a yard of warehouses, completely obscure and disguised.

Trapped like an animal between two huge warehouses I raced through them towards a high wire fence. I hit it with the same barrelling force I hit the guard with. I bounded back and endeavoured to climb up it. I realised with stinging recognition that it was banded with five electric wires. But I could stand pain. That was me- my talent, the world I could understand. So I leapt up the fence with renewed aggression.

Suddenly there was a vice on my ankle which wrenched my weight back down. Caught. My body crumpled in resignation, my eyes closing. So close. I tumbled into an arm, wincing as my hair caught the wires on the way down.

The person set me on my feet and I opened my eyes. I think I already knew who it was before, my body had its own way of reacting to his touch. And it would just _fit_ that he would be the one to chase after me and catch me again. He was clamping my wrist, the one with the gun, to my body. His eyes were on fire, burning into mine.

Suddenly I felt the huge shocks of the fence on my body again. Lights popped in front of my eyes, which I blinked away, wincing in pain. Then I saw what Edward had done. He had forced his lips down on mine, and crushed my body to the fence. Sparks lit my hair, and my body shuddered from the pain and force rippling through me.

Then it stopped, and I crumbled into Edward's arms. He pulled me away from the fence and kissed me again, with all the ferocity of the electricity that had been racking through my spine a moment ago. His eyes were open, as were mine. I was shocked to notice that my body, misbehaving again, was reacting to his touch and pulling him closer to me. My arms slipped from his relaxing grasp to curl themselves around his neck, and his hands entwined themselves around my waist, into my hair.

I could taste the blood that was flowing down his face from the blow I'd given him, and somehow that made my mouth press itself harder on his, my tongue striking out against his.

Then I realised the invitation he'd left himself open to. I jerked my hand, my heart twisting in nonsensical betrayal, as the gun pressed itself to his skull once more. My mouth slipped a beat away from his.

"Move." I growled. When his eyes recoiled in the betrayal my heart was scorching in, my knee rocketed up into his crotch. He crumpled to the floor, and I spun on my heel and clambered up the fence, wincing from every shock the fence provided, unable to block the flow of emotion and pain that was boiling through my blood.

**OK, very short chapter after that incredibly long one that took me ages. Very quick update too. This chapter just flowed from my fingers. All right, I know its incrediiibly unrealistic, but if you like realistic stuff- why did you read Twilight? All right, its kinda james bond. But that's how the story has unwrapped, and if you just swallow the unrealistic stuff the drama is quite fun, huh? I found that while I was writing this. Please review if you like this, don't just add it to your favourites, because I need to know what people are thinking and I know there are people reading this insane stuff and I wanna hear what they think. The last chapter took me ages and hardly anyone reviewed.**

**I'd like to thank bodidley09 whose advice and reviews make me smile and keep me writing. And Twilight0394 whose story Another Way To Die made me link my ideas of children from different organisations with kidnap, hence creating the story. Thank you whose reviews are always the kind that make me carry on typing! And of course missninacullen who did me an amazing favour by giving long reviews to every one of these insane chapters. Thanks guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know this is short, sorry. But it also means quicker update! Um, its quite james bondy but I could have done the tension better, I know. I haven't read thrillers in a while! **

**But the reason why iv posted it as a shorter chapter is that I need your opinions for the next chapter- details at the bottom.**

**Chapter 7**

It didn't take long until I reached a road. My body was still running on adrenaline and I was wondering how long it would take for an alarm to go up and people to start chasing after me. They might even be able to contact the police- the Cullen Clan had a history of bribing them. I had to act quickly to get out. Watching the road in front of me, I knew I only had one choice.

My mind was still blinded by adrenaline, otherwise I would never have had the guts. But I crouched at the side of the road, knowing it was my only way. The road had only about two cars coming down in a minute. I heard another one coming down and prepared myself.

I caught sight of a dusty yellow car before I ran straight in front of it's path.

Due to impossible luck and the current state of insanity my mind had escalated to, it didn't hit me. But the driver slowed, wheeling down the window to yell at me. My legs had frozen from an instant, in shock from the danger they had been in, but I forced them back into action. I yanked open the car door, and pulled the driver out, grateful it was Italy and he hadn't used his seat belt.

"Get in the other side and I will not have to hurt you." I said, using the gun I still had from a few minutes before. The driver's eyes widened and he walked carefully to the other side and got in. I made him put on his seat belt, before securing my own and locking the doors. Then I shoved the car into the fastest speed I could.

"I apologize for that." I started. Pulling the gun was a cheap trick, but necessary. I couldn't have him wondering about without a car, able to describe to the Cullens what car I was in. "I'm being chased and I need a car. I won't harm you unless you make trouble. You will get your car back when I'm finished. Do you have a phone?" He nodded, clearly terrified. I held out a hand, and he put it in. I called the emergency number that I knew would get Aro. As it rung I asked him where we were. He looked surprised, but answered quickly.

"We're getting close to Pescolanciano." He whispered, as if he didn't trust himself to speak. Then Aro's assistant answered.

"Hello, it's Aro's daughter. I have to speak to him urgently." The assistant did not even answer, it was just passed onto Aro.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"It's your daughter. I've got out of where I was being held and I've hijacked a car. I'm near Pescolanciano according to the driver, but I need someone to track where I am using the phone so that I can get to you as soon as possible."

"That's being done already. Have you seen them yet?" I checked the wing mirrors again. Clear, no-one around.

"No sign as yet."

"How did you-"

"Sorry," I interrupted Aro and turned to the driver, "Which way to the nearest main road? You need to direct me."

"Take the next left and carry on down that road, you'll get onto the SS652." He muttered.

"Did you hear that? I'm apparently headed for the SS652."

"Yes, we'll give you more directions in a moment. I need to know how you got away." Suddenly I saw a shadow in my peripheral. My eyes snapped to the rearview mirror, which showed two inconspicuous cars fast catching up with me. I couldn't see the drivers, so I slammed on the accelerator.

"They've found me." I informed Aro, watching them in my mirror. Just as I looked back at the road, I saw another car come in the opposite direction. It swerved right in front of me, aiming to either crash into me or force me to turn into the ditch at the side of the road. The driver gasped in horrified terror, but I struck the brake so hard the car convulsed as it skidded with a loud shriek, so the other car stopped in front of me instead of crashing, and I started the car up again to swerve around him and accelerate.

"What happened?" Aro asked.

"Nothing, I took care of it. I need directions _now_. I need to know where to meet you." I commanded, watching as the car stuck in the middle of the road hindered the other two cars tailing me. "Where's the nearest police station?" I asked the driver. He shrugged.

"No one calls the police around here. It's miles away." I nodded.

"I need to know how you got away." Aro demanded. "Now." I raced through it, so he'd give me directions. The cars were out of sight for the moment, but the road had plunged into trees so the road was full of turns and twists.

"They left my bedroom door open so I ran out. I was met by three guards at the bottom of the stairs and I disarmed one, shooting him and his companions immediately. I shot the bolt on the door and ran out. I scaled the fence and ran out of the area until I came to a road about ten minutes later. Then I hijacked a car and called you." I left Edward out. I heard Aro contemplate this. "Please, Aro, I need to know where to get out." Aro sighed.

"We have you on a Satellite Location System, you are currently on the SS86 apparently. I'm only going to give you directions to the next immediate part of the journey in case anyone else is listening. Can you see your followers?" I checked my mirrors again, no sign yet. I was breaking any possible speed limit, going as fast as I could, the engine whining in complaint.

"Take a right at this junction….

Right again." I thought I saw a flash of a car behind me just as I turned a corner, and increased pressure on the accelerator.

"Take the second exit.

Left." They had caught up. I could see them as I turned corners. I didn't know whether they wanted to stop me, kill me, follow me or take me back. They seemed to just be following me… for now. I still couldn't see the drivers.

"Right." They were almost grinding on the back of the car now. I needed something faster. I didn't know how I'd get out when Aro directed me to where he wanted me to be. I wasn't even sure if Aro needed me alive any more. He could have been leading me nowhere, and eventually causing my death at the Cullen's hands.

"Right.

Out. Now!" I immediately leapt out of the car, the engine still running, and the cars following it, hot on its trail. I heard my arm crack as I hit the road at the same time as my head, making my eyes roll into my head in pain. I couldn't see if they noticed straight away as my head scraped against the road and my body rolled over on the tough tarmac. I carried on rolling, knowing that was the safest thing to do, even though my arm was twisting in pain and my head was throbbing.

I stopped myself when I got to the end of the road, and opened my eyes to see if Aro had led me anywhere. One of my eyes wouldn't open, which was odd but I barely noticed, seeing the man standing in front of me. All I remember was that I recognised him before he picked me up. I passed out.

When I awoke my head and arm was pulsing with pain. I was sitting and there was a weird thrumming pounding in my ears. Then I recognised the pressure in my ears. I was in the air. I opened my eye, reaching up with shaky weak fingers to assess the other eye. My finger, dead with fatigue and hunger, poked my eye painfully before stroking it. I felt crusty, damp all over my eyelashes and lid, and followed it up to my head. It was a lot wetter there. I brought my hand back down and looked at it. It was dark, covered in. Blood.

I looked around, feeling unconsciousness grasping at me again. The man who had picked me up was sitting opposite me. I remembered him now. He was the driver who had driven me around in the days before I was kidnapped. He was extremely big, with dark skin and hair. He was holding something, and my eye couldn't focus on it, being blurred with fatigue. I passed into unconsciousness again.

I slipped through restless, fitful, dreamless sleep. I felt like I had been running forever, and I hadn't really stopped running in my sleep. I skimmed consciousness now and then, feeling something cold on my face, and realised with sickening certainty that I didn't even know what I thought I was running from. Or why I should be afraid.

Later I thought this may have been post-shock amnesia, but I can see the true cause of it now. My mind was so troubled, and it had been confused and altered beyond what it had ever felt before. I was starving and my body was now weak, my hair felt matted and wet around my head and I could barely move for hunger now the adrenaline had gone.

And there was another kind of fatigue. It wasn't quite fatigue, more… emotional. I couldn't identify it, it just made me want to sleep for years and forget the last week. I couldn't recall any memories, but I could remember horrible feelings of guilt and regret every time I tried. And a longing. A desperate longing, for something I didn't know.

When I reached consciousness again, my back aching from sleeping in a chair, I saw the Volturi driver sitting closer to me, holding my arm. I was surprised that I could open both eyes. The driver was holding a wet cloth, with which he was cleaning the wounds on my arm. His hands were incredibly hot on my skin. I realised he'd cleaned my eye. I felt my forehead- a huge gash that felt ripped and raw. It was not even dry yet.

"Where are we?" I croaked. The driver looked up, surprised I had woken. He gently put down my arm. From what I could see, he had only been cleaning my wounds- he didn't have any bandages or antiseptic.

"We're going to land in five minutes. You might want to close your eyes for the last bit, you're going to need it." I tried but his words had the opposite effect. I felt myself getting more alert, despite how weak my body felt. "Try not to move your arm."

A few minutes later my ears popped, and then the helicopter touched the ground. The driver helped me up, holding my arm still with one hand and supporting my back with the other with his burning hands. Dust from the wind the helicopter had kicked up flew in my eyes when the door opened, and I stumbled out. I couldn't see anyone and the driver led me inside. I felt weak enough to sit down again after taking those few steps. But I was being held up, so I leant into his side, feeling my legs about to give way.

"Take her straight to the treating room." I heard a cold voice snap.

"But she's weak, she's broken her arm, she hasn't eaten, she's smashed her hea-"

"If you care, don't tell them." I could barely make out what they were saying. I only heard the tender tone to his voice. As if he really cared. Then he helped me walk again.

We went into a room I only recognised after the door was shut and the driver left.

The Treatment Room.

Complete with Jane.

**In case anyone cares, or finds it amusing, all the towns and roads are real and I gave you real directions. just in case ur ever trapped in a car chase in italy near pescanclancio. lol!**

**Though I hate to do it, but you've probably figured it out, I have to tell you whats coming next. She's going to be tortured. **

**So, I need people to review and tell me whether you want me to describe the torture or just skip it coz ur not in the mood for sadistic stuff. Please review and tell me coz I want to keep this story as interesting as possible for you guys, and I know you wanted Edward back in this one, so I need your opinion on what will make the story more interesting for this part.**


	8. Chapter 8 Not for Fainthearted

**Sorry about the late update- I'm so busy at the moment, seriously. I don't have time to breathe. But I haven't forgotten you guys, and this story is priority. **

**Now I feel I need some kind of disclaimer. Not the usual type, but one to warn against the fainthearted. **

**This chapter is not for the fainthearted. It has violent images, especially if you have a good imagination. It won't give you nightmares, but you won't like reading it. This chapter is short so you can skip it entirely if you don't want to read the violent stuff. A short summary is at the bottom so you can read it without reading the chapter.**

**Chapter 8**

The room was cold, colder than my bedroom. The stones were cold. The stones on the floor. Much much colder than the fire. The fire.

My eyes were heavy, as if they were stuck together. It took me a moment before I realised I couldn't open them, I couldn't move my body at all. My body felt like it was filled with sand, and I couldn't see or feel anything. It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. Worse than the small, satisfied, sadistic smile.

Images flashed in my mind, and I racked through them desperately, trying to make them end. My useless body was imagining what it could not see or hear any more. The smell of ethanol, burning into my head.

The soft velvet touch of the hand that shoved-

Then the tiny, silver lighter. It was so small and so close it could have come from Jane's eyes.

Then pain, fire, boiling, stretching, aching my skin. Then cold. Cold cold cold.

Then another fire, somewhere else.

Horrifying sounds, images that measured up to the pain my brain was trying to numb.

My fingernails cracking, blood sponging out of deep grazes, yellow and orange bruising blossoming under my skin, the scent of burning hair, cracks of bones- were they bones? They seemed so distant now.

And the questions, firing at me. In a sharp high voice. I couldn't remember them now.

But I couldn't answer. My body had been taught under too many torturous situations- it now couldn't make any noise under pain. It was physically impossible. So the pain, intended to melt my barriers and force my thoughts to spill through my lips, just cemented the wall between my thoughts and theirs. Their questions were nothing.

Screams of frustration and new pain. Nails, knives and scalpels scratched my skin. Warm blood lit the fire in the eyes and the smile. But my mouth wouldn't open.

Then a hammer- causing quicker bruising than I thought possible. And not even then could I speak.

I found my defences kicking in. I began to immunise against the pain. I could even think of other things, other sensations…

But not for long. Flashes of warm arms on cold nights, and the bubble of adrenaline from one touch, one voice, the twist of my heart under the lips of a-

Suddenly my lips opened. The floodgates opened. But, crazed with pain and devoid of control, hysterical racks shook my body. Spasming, contorting, my face and my pain and my emotions, my insanity, my love and the pain again, they finally threw themselves at my torturers, in the form of the fits I began to have.

Then my right arm tingled. It was different from the pain my brain was numbing, it was odd because the pain _wasn't there_. My nerves weren't isolating anything. It was loss of feeling.

Then terror cracked through into hysteria, and my eyes bulged as my arm suddenly dropped to the ground and my legs began to freeze. I looked up with a painful gaze through spasms.

Alec, was it Alec? The needle dripped in his hand, dripped with milk, dripped with bloody juice, and he filled another and it shot into my neck.

Then my ears started echoing the laughter, the hysterics. Why were they doing that?

Then I realised, and my blood ran cold.

They had stopped. The convulsions, and I couldn't hear them. Or feel them. My body was dying around me. I couldn't move. It was terrifying. The last thing I sensed was my eyelids closing in a blink- for a moment- a reflex- and then they couldn't- wouldn't open.

And then there I was, in the cold room. Against cold stones.

_Cold stones_.

I must be able to feel again, I thought. I couldn't move, couldn't see or speak, but I could just about feel.

And I could think. I could remember. I could remember the terrors and pains. But I could recall how my body froze the pain, how it confused the attackers. I could remember what caused it. The memories that saved me.

I could just remember the touches, the smile, the kisses, the arms, the hair. And I could feel the warmth these memories gave me.

It was enough.

**Summary for the fainthearted:**

**Bella is lying in a room, her face pressed against cold stones. But she can't open her eyes, or move her body. She has a flashback of Jane's torture. Jane is asking her questions, she can't remember what. But she didn't answer, she couldn't because her body was too secure against torture. Then her brain begins to blunt the pain, and she is able to think of other things. She thinks of Edward. Then her body is driven into overdrive, and she is suddenly uncontrollably, spookily, shaking in hysterical laughter. Jane tries new torture in anger and frustration, and then Bella's arm goes numb. Suddenly. And she looks up to see Alec shooting a needle in her neck. And her body paralyses, weakens. End of flashback. She can feel the cold stones of the room, but can't see them, but she can remember the memories that saved her.**

**So! Review. I know its violent, but hopefully its obscure enough for you guys. Um, if you think this should be moved up to an M for violence please also let me know. **


	9. Chapter 9 Not for Fainthearted

**Sorry again that this is so late. I have no time at the moment, and I've been writing this instead of the huge pile of homework I have but really REALLY do not want to do. Very emotional weekend and I'm feeling kind of ill and very tired. This chapter kind of reflects that.**

**I've updated this because Batman Keda said that this is the only story she's reading at the moment and she really wants me to update. It's not iiincredibly long- the next one will be I think, but I haven't written it yet. But I've tried to keep the chapters in sections of the story, and this is one of the worst. **

**Like the other chapter, I think I need to warn you. This chapter is not for the fainthearted or queasy. Do ****not**** read this if you are ill. It will probably make you vomit. It is extremely disgusting in bits, because I am impartial and don't get queasy, and like the last chapter you can skip it if you want.**

**Chapter 9**

Days were slipping past in painful gasps. I hadn't spoken to anyone, I hadn't moved from the room with the cold stones. My hair hung dark and greasy, my stomach ached with the lack of food, my clothes stuck to my skin, the bloody clothes covering the bruises and scars. My hair was matted and clogged with my own blood at parts and I felt like I had been left to die. It was as if they had forgotten about me. Occasionally some food would come through the door, but it was once every two days if at all. My body kept slipping into apathetic uncomfortable slumber due to lack of action. There was no light so I couldn't even tell how long I'd been there for. But it must have been days.

The worse part was that I felt myself changing. I wished I hadn't left. More than anything in the world I wished I could go back in time and tell myself not to leave the Cullens. I was going to die in this stony room. I couldn't see any way out. I wished I could go back and relive the days where I had other emotions to people, where my stomach pounded like a thousand butterflies were locked inside, and where my heart jumped at certain looks and touches, and where I felt alien sensations to my cold stone body.

I tried to keep reliving the memories, keep refreshing them, but they were hazy and headaches- pounding, crashing headaches- made it hard to think. My throat was dry and there were times when I thought I would cough up my insides. I needed water so badly. I would sit, trying to make moisture in my mouth only so I could feel it slide down my throat like jelly on sandpaper. I would eat any food I got as slowly as I could- though I wanted to snatch it up and gulp it down whole- because I had been taught that it was the best thing to do when being kept hostage because too much food in one go after a period of hunger would just be vomited straight back.

But my stomach would sometimes retch, as if it was so desperate to have food it would attempt to grab it out of my air, and I would gasp as acid would hurl itself up my throat.

And then there was the wounds. Unattended and bloody, they were getting infected. One stab wound on my leg was the worst. Milky pus oozed out of the sides when I initially woke up, and since it had turned a phlegm yellow colour which was thick and viscous, slowly climbing out of my leg. I didn't want to touch it in case it made it worse, but then it started going green. The skin around it was swollen and red, with a large rash rendering my thigh. The wound was incredibly wet, the blood and pus never seemed to dry on the wound. But further down, where the pus had dripped, it dried into crusty custardy flakes. And the smell was revolting. It smelled like rotten meat, like a toxic heavy gas was clogging up my face, the room, and I couldn't escape it. And it got worse with every passing hour.

I couldn't even attempt to claw off the dried blood and pus off my leg because a lot of my nails had been split down to the wick and were open and bleeding also. They were blackened with heat and I could move my knuckles without a stabbing pain. And two of my knuckles were broken in my left hand, along with a finger. From the shape of the bruising I think someone stamped on my hand, but I had my eyes shut and my memories were blinded with the pain.

The air in the room was cold and dry, but the cold stone floor was comforting and soothing to the blistering scarlet burns on my chest and arms. When I was first able to move after the drugs effects calmed down great chunks of my hair were left on the floor, and a lot of the remaining hair was singed and ashy. Blood, hair and pus had covered the floor where I lay, and since then I had tried to sit as still as possible so when I got up to walk around I wasn't stepping on my own mess with my bare feet. I also had the issue of no toilet, but seeing as I had eaten so little and all I got was bread, not even water, it was impossible for me to excrete. This was a good thing in terms of smell, hygiene and health but it added to the pains of the life I was leading.

I couldn't see when it would end. With the Cullens I at least had the hope that the Volturi would rescue me. But here it was like I had reached the end of the line. I was starving to death- if I didn't die from the viral and bacterial infections on my body. I could feel my face get hollower, and my arms began to look starved. The natural healing process of some of the smaller wounds was hindered because I didn't have enough nutrition for them, and I knew it was becoming harder for my body in every passing hour.

I soon became too weak to get up any more. I knew how important it was to keep my body active, to move, especially as I still had insane hope that the door would open for some reason and I could get out. But I realised I wouldn't be able to run fast enough. Even without the huge infected leg wound, I was too weak with hunger and thirst, and the pain was draining me. Food was shunted through a letterbox type hole in the door, and it was only bread. I couldn't push the flap open to look out because it was designed so it was impossible to open from inside. The door was thick and I never heard any sound from the other side and I had no idea where this building could be, or where the room was in the building, because there were no windows.

It was a mute, blind world. I had never felt so isolated, even when I was growing up without a name. I had decided, in my long hours of solitude ironically enough, that I liked the name Bella. I liked being called something- and I knew 'Bella' was how Edward would remember me. It was sad that I decided this after I stopped having contact with anyone else. How could I ask them to put it on my gravestone? I guessed I wouldn't have one. Someone like Jane would probably dissect me, either for fun or to test future torture methods. Just the thought of her and her sweet, sweet smile made me want to vomit. And then I would try to vomit, and fail.

I felt as though my body was going through cycles of pains and yearnings. I'd have moments when all I could think about was my hunger, and how much I needed food in my concave stomach. Then the hunger would become less important- though just as painful- as my thirst became more unbearable, rivalling with the pain. Then I would want to sleep, so useless and full of pain I would just want to sleep. But of course the hard stone floor and the lack of action made sleep short and uncomfortable, and I would spend hours with my eyes shut trying to slip into the painless realm of unconsciousness. Then there was the time when pain became all consuming, and I would spend so long moaning with the pain before I realised I was making any noise. My leg only became worse. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand being so weak when I had always been proud of my body's health. The infection in my leg was spreading around my body- I could see it in the rash. It was like a horrible monster trying to destroy me- but instead of being quick, like I so wanted, it was killing me slowly and horribly. I thought sometimes maybe I would never die because the pain was stopping me from ever reaching peace. Or just sleep. And then the need for sleep would come back- it was the most common I think.

Then there was the need and pain of trying to vomit. Trying to rid my body of the toxins, the pains, my insides. I only ever felt acid rise from my empty stomach, but once I started coughing blood. I was shocked and horrified, and I started hyperventilating as it was happening. Then when it was over it ran down my face like tears, drenching my sweaty, bloody clothes and matting my hair. And that wasn't the only way my body was trying to empty itself. But I couldn't shit either, and that was just as horrible and painful. Once, earlier on, when I was just beginning to realise that they had left me there to die, I started to worry about my periods. But it became clear my cycle had stopped because I was so thin, so unwell.

Then there was the worst need of all. And this was the one that kept my crying, crying like I had been drinking for hours and hours. Then my eyes would run dry but I would heave with silent sobs. And then I would feel faint and dehydrated for the rest of that day. The need for company. I needed company. At first it was just a solid need for Edward, someone who had showed me some compassion. But as time went on I became less picky. I started yearning for Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, anyone linked with Edward. And I realised how bad things had really got when I thought that I would even accept another visit from Jane, just to dampen my thirst for company, for people. But I really wanted compassion. I wanted to feel like the world hadn't abandoned me, that someone was prepared to find me again, let me live. That I wasn't just a worthless life who had exceeded her prime and now had no place at all in the world. I wanted to feel that someone wanted me. But no one did. The Volturi had made sure of that. I was undeniably forgotten, and had been left to starve.

But in delirious periods of dehydration, hunger, pain and loneliness I would think that, if I had been left to die, why did food keep coming through the door? A cynical voice answered that I would die slower if I had been fuelled. But I was so sure that I had already been forgotten by the Volturi, that I still hoped that someone was trying to keep me alive. I had no idea what for, maybe they just still wanted me suffering, in this world, but the thought that someone still occasionally thought of me, was comforting.

But it was delirious, imaginary. I couldn't think of why they would want me alive, but it couldn't be good. And in more sane periods I realised they just wanted to kill me slowly. I kept wishing that I could see Edward again before I died. Or at least that Edward would also die soon, so I could see him again. If there was another life. I had never been religious- how could I believe in the Christian all-loving God when I was being taught to kill? I didn't think God would let me into Heaven anyway. I had killed people. I didn't love anyone. I had stolen before, I had never been nice. Heaven was not meant for people like me. I wondered if Edward would get into Heaven. Definitely. He'd never killed- he'd never even been tortured! He wasn't the type to steal or sin in any way, and I would have betted that he was religious, with the weird morals the Cullen Clan had.

Not only was I too weak to stand, starving, dehydrated, unable to vomit or excrete, delirious and too apathetic to sleep properly but I was getting ill. Whether it was the wound on my leg or an unrelated virus I couldn't tell, but I felt my glands swell as I coughed and retched and sneezed. Mucus clogged up my nose but I couldn't displace it, my throat was raw and my stomach was constantly churning and moaning, and would occasionally clench with incomprehensible strength to create pains that would battle with my headaches.

So, within the cycles of the different pains and needs, I kept wishing that it would all end. I wondered about killing myself, but I had nothing to do it with. My only thought was that perhaps I could smash my own head against the stone floor- but I couldn't physically do it, and when I tried I hadn't enough energy to even knock myself out. I tried to resist the food- the bread. To starve myself. I managed for a while, to just spend the days staring at the bread. It started to get mouldy, and at one point I lost control and scoffed it down. I didn't feel a taste but a few minutes later I vomited it back up dryly. The next meal arrived so much later I had already eaten the vomited remains.

So, more than anything, I just wanted to die.

**Obviously, please review. Reviews seriously speed up updates- this wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for Batman Keda's message. **

**I know this chapter didn't really go anywhere, and you are probably wondering why. I do know where I'm going with this story- it is all mapped out meticulously, but this chapter is to really show you how much she is suffering and how alone she is. It is horrible, and it gives you no clues on how it is going to continue, drama will speed up in the next chapter, which will be a long one. But this will really up the suspense for whatever is to come, and it also might make you sympathise with patients of organisations such as amnesty. I have done research about things like infected wounds, so a lot of this is true. Or could be.**

**Please tell me what you think of it and what you think will happen!**


	10. Chapter 10

**You're going to kill me, readers.**

**Chapter 10**

I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally. I must have been delirious again. I thought I was actually dying, that my body was finally sending me away after the weeks of starvations and pains. I could feel the light burning in my eyes, and hear the voices. I tried to move towards them, but it was like I was locked in limbo. I couldn't move. It reminded me of the morphine that felt like months ago, when I was pinned down by my own weight. And then I became too weak for my own weight.

But anyway- the light- the voices- I was convinced this was finally it. And I felt such euphoria, such relief at death that I did the stupid thing. I opened my eyes.

The lights were bright and flashing past my eyes, past my head. My eyes couldn't adjust- I had been in the dark for too long. My eyes hurt to open, so I shut them again.

Then I realised I hadn't died. I was moving. I could hear voices. Right next to my ears- they could even be talking to me, but I couldn't understand them. At least something was happening! If I wasn't dying I was either going to be tortured again, be killed or… I didn't know. But anything but locked in that horrible room, waiting to starve to death. I kept coughing, someone was carrying me and it was upsetting my stomach and throat. I thought I might heave. The rocking motion was making me nauseous.

I tried with everything I had left to understand the voices, but I just couldn't. I could barely see when I opened my eyes- I must have been on the edge of dying, my senses were so dull. My brain felt almost indifferent to the events- as if it didn't care. I was having all kinds of contrasting emotions struggling against each other- lack of feeling, lack of emotion and indifference to what was happening yet the euphoria that finally something was happening, that I wouldn't remain in limbo. There was the new budding hope that, maybe I wasn't going to die, maybe there was hope, and this was trying to grow in the thick soil of depression that I had not died when I could have, that I was going to last longer, endure more pain. My life was going to carry on- a fact that made my heart beat faster with hope but my mind sink with horror.

Then the rocking stopped, and the lights weren't as bright. I heard the voices again, and they were a little more distinguishable. In fact, I thought there was maybe just the one voice, quite low and urgent. I tried to concentrate on it, to understand it, but it was hopeless. They muttered something else, and then stopped. I wasn't moving any more- I hadn't noticed. Someone had put me down.

Abandoned again, I thought. But it wasn't as cold here. I waited and began to wonder if I had been abandoned again or my mind was playing tricks on me.

But then the voice returned, and my senses were a little better. I could taste whatever they were pouring down my throat, or manually making my jaws chew. I was finally being fed, but I was too weak to do it myself or enjoy it.

After I was too full of food- and I hadn't been eating for long, my stomach must have shrunk, I got the feeling that someone was holding me, soothing me. I could hear the voice again. I was even under the impression that I could have understood them, if only I wasn't so… tired…

When I woke up I found I could open my eyes and see again. Someone had lifted the veil, and the mist was gone. My hearing wasn't back, but I was so relieved I could see. If I wasn't going to die, I wasn't going to live in a black world. I wasn't being held any more. But I was lying in a bed, a real comfortable bed, that was so comfortable to me I might have imagined the arms holding me tight last night. The room I was in was definitely a cell still. It had four grey stone walls, with a steel door but it had a window, and I was immediately enthralled. Light, sunlight! I scrambled up to peer through it, but my body fell in a limp heap on the floor. I didn't have the energy yet, despite my excitement. But it made me smile, and I didn't take my eyes of the ray of light as I sat up again, and watched it, spellbound.

The door handle clicked, and then someone came into the room. I recognised him immediately. He had dark Italian skin and long black hair. It was the driver.

"Thank God you're up now. I was worried you were in a coma. Do you want some more food? It's Bella, isn't it? Or would you prefer I didn't call you that?" I recognised his voice too. It had kept me going when I couldn't see. I tried to reply, but my throat was too dry, and I didn't know what to say anyway, in the face of my rescuer. He surveyed me, thinking.

"I'll call you Bella then. I'm Jacob Black, and that's all you need to know, or can know, for now. We have about an hour. I'm going to give you breakfast, and then you won't see me till then." He was carrying some buttered toast and water, and I tried to lift my hands to take them but my grip was weak and I couldn't manage. "It's all right, I'll do it."

I hated feeling so weak, but he was being nice about it, instead of patronising, and he seemed to know how frustrated I was by my own weakness. All too soon I was finished and he put a hand on my shoulder for a moment, his eyes on mine, before getting up and leaving. I watched him go, but then the panic set in.

It must have been post-traumatic stress. Every part of my heart believed him, he was going to come back for me, I wasn't abandoned again but my mind, cynical with hardship, started to panic about being left again. Was I going to die? Again? It felt like I'd come back from death, life was going to provoke me again, see how far it could push me. I didn't want to live. What did I have left? Tears I thought had long dried out came flooding over again, and I found I was hyperventilating and sobbing, both in fear and relief. Then I heard a voice which caught my breath and made me stop.

"Bella?" It was a high, tinkling voice, but it didn't come from outside the door. It came from the other side of the wall.

I didn't answer, suspicious immediately. I was trying to restrain my breathing, still ragged from sobbing.

"It's okay, it's Alice Brandon. You've heard of me, I'm Edward's sister."

"Alice… Brandon?" I whispered in shock. I had to be dreaming. Or dead. I never figured she'd be… well, actually alive. She sounded real, fine, even bright and hopeful.

"That is Bella, isn't it? Bella Swan. I knew I'd meet you today."

"How?" I murmured in my croaking voice.

"I knew. I'm a bit weird like that, I don't know why. I've always been like that, don't worry. This place hasn't turned me insane… though it gave me a good try. It probably made things clearer, though. All this time to look."

I had no idea what she was talking about.

"But you've seen Edward- and Carlisle and Rosalie and Emmett! How are they? They're all still well, right? And you've met- but I shouldn't ask yet. I haven't got long- how's my family?"

Her concern for her family might have shocked me if I hadn't known the Cullens. So family orientated… it was quite clever in a way, maybe stronger ties were an advantage.

"Um, they're okay, I think." My eyes welled up for some incomprehensible reason, "but I left Edward in bad condition…"

"Yes I know! I laughed so hard, but he deserved it… He recovered fine, I think." There was a sly tone to the aftermath, as if she knew how much I had been thinking about him. How did she know so much? Had she heard from him? I remembered the notes about physic talent… but no-one was that good. Had she gone mad from isolation?

"How long have you been here?" I asked nervously.

"In this cell? Well, at first I wasn't put in here." She paused, as if deciding whether to carry on. "I was kept in a nicer room, it wasn't a cell at all. They said I would be okay if I answered some questions. But… well, you see I have these fits. And I can't help them, but the Volturi thought I was mocking them. I seriously couldn't help it, but I often feel drained after them, and sometimes what I see affects me. They didn't like it, and they started to pressure me more. And I didn't tell them anything- you'll understand why. Loyalty kicks in, no matter how much pressure you're under. How are your… scars?" I blinked. No-one except Jacob Black had seen the new ones yet. Maybe she saw them when I was being carried in…

"Painful. And infected. I might need an amputation." I whispered the last part- it was a fear I had been burying deep in my mind but I knew that if I was to survive anyone who tried to treat my leg would consider amputation.

"Don't worry, Bella. You'll be fine." Though I didn't believe her, I did take comfort from her assured tone.

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"They locked me up after a few of these fits, I don't know how long ago. It feels like months but my timings probably off. I should be recording the days but I didn't start when I should've." She sounded so normal, was talking so familiarly, as if we'd known each other for years and had just met up for a chat. "What did you think of Edward?"

"He's…" I had no words to describe him, or the strange feelings I had about him. "your brother isn't he? What do you think of him?" A short laugh showed me my sidestep hadn't gone unnoticed.

"He's one of the kindest people I know, apart from Carlisle. He was always the most understanding, and he was very protective of me." She laughed. I'd almost forgotten what a laugh sounded like.

"I found he was very… pushy." I said. Alice laughed again. I drank in the sound. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing." She giggled quietly.

"You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" I said, thinking about the kisses.

"Yes." She stopped laughing.

"How?"

"I just do. Don't blame him for it, it's just… Well, he likes you a lot. And sees himself in you, I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I don't know for sure, but I know him pretty well. How's Carlisle? Still missing Mum?" I thought about my answer before I said it, and even then they surprised me.

"Desperately. He is so determined to find her again…" Alice sighed.

"He and Edward are so similar. What about Rosalie and Emmett?" She asked.

"They're… well, I didn't like them. Emmett kidnapped me, and Rosalie encouraged… Edward. She wasn't very… I don't know. But she was the only one who acted like I would expect."

"She hasn't changed much then. But she's just territorial of her family."

"I wasn't much of a threat, Alice." I reasoned.

"You'll see."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stop worrying, Bella."

"I'm not, you just tell me what the hell you're on about!"

"It's fine, Bella. And Jacob will be back in twenty seconds and then you'll leave." I didn't believe her.

"Do you think you'll ever get out?"

"Don't worry, Bella. You'll get out soon. He's coming back for you even now. You'll be out before me."

"Can't you come with me? I won't leave you here."

"We can try."

Right on time- I was still confused about this- Jacob opened my door.

"Come on, we have about twenty minutes to get you out of the building. I've bribed a cleaner- you're going to need to get inside the collecting bin. I'm sorry, but it's the least suspect way to get you out."

"Is there any way we can get Alice Brandon out too?" Jacob looked at me.

"The girl next door? We can try but I'll have to come back for her- which means less time for you."

"Bella? Leave me here. Take me for my word, I'll be out soon." Alice called through the wall. "Taking me will hinder your escape. Go." I looked at Jacob, torn. I nodded.

"I won't leave you here, Alice. I'll come back, I promise." I said, trying to get up. "Please try to get her out, Jacob Black." I whispered, trying not to imagine how it would be felt to be left again. My leg gave way, so Jacob picked me up and took me outside, where he lowered me into a bin. I wouldn't have fit if I hadn't been so thin, and I was squished and uncomfortable.

I didn't hear or see anything after the bin started moving, so I had to assume things were going all right. When the lid opened and I was lifted out, I was put in the back of a van and Jacob shut the doors, before hurrying back into the building. I prayed that he would manage to get Alice out.

Some indescribable spark of friendship had been struck between us, I could just feel it from her sardonic tone and understanding sighs. She wasn't nearly as down to earth or cynical as me, and she hadn't given up like I had. And her strange… psychic claims made me uneasy. But she must have been used to that.

But I could already feel close to her in a way I had not with any other person in my life. It was as new a feeling as my feelings for Edward, completely new but gripping and interesting. But I wasn't seeing any negative connotations with friendship as I could with lust.

Friendship couldn't be that much of a weakness- could it? My younger self would beg to differ, I was sure, but I was getting older and understanding people more now. Part of me could see the tiny world I had believed I lived in, and how false that view was.

So I prayed that I would be lucky enough to enjoy her friendship, because I would hate to take up my promise and return to the hellhole of the Volturi. I would have to, because as Alice said, loyalty was a strong Italian instinct that we couldn't resist. I wouldn't go back on the only promise I made to my only friend.

But then someone threw open the van door and slammed it, immediately shoving the engine into gear and shooting off. I rolled around the floor before picking myself up to see that it was Jacob at the wheel- alone. I should have known. My luck could never last that long. I should have been glad to be getting away. But Alice's tone and certainty of her fate should have warned me not to get my hopes up- she knew she wouldn't get away that day.

I could only see the sky from where I was in the van, and I didn't have the strength to get up. But I heard a sigh of relief,

"You're out." I shuddered in relief. But I knew it wasn't over yet- someone would find out soon what had happened and we would be followed soon. Jacob increased the speed as if he knew what I was thinking.

Where was he taking me? Who was he? And why was he helping me? He was endangering his own life, getting me out when I was close to dying- when I had no reason to live. It might have been kinder for him to just kill me. I didn't get this obsession with life- what did I have to live for?

"Shit." Couldn't have lasted long. We had only been driving for a minute at most when I heard the screech of tyres and the reckless motion of the van tossed me across the floor. I needed something to hold onto- or this rocking was going to knock me out.

"How many?" I asked.

"I can only see one at the moment- but it's just following us for now. I bet they're going to either track or corner me." His voice was strained- I wondered if he was lying.

"Is it worth it?" I asked.

"It was worth it to start with and it's worth it now." He muttered, his eyes darting between the road and the mirrors. "But even if it wasn't, we're both dead if we get caught now."

He made another sharp turn, and my head rolled back on my neck and I heard a painful click. Distracted for a moment my hand let go of the cargo strap I'd been clinging to- and I swung across the floor, cracking my head on the side of the van. Something white flashed in front of my eyes before something blunt and blank filled my head.

"_Get up, Bella!_" Oh, my head. It was like my brain was spinning in my head. I tried to get up, orientate myself, but something heavy in my brain twinged so I stayed where I was. "_Bella, get up now!_"

"I'm… awake…" I mumbled, not sure if it was audible.

"No, Bella, get over here _now_! We might need to jump out- I need you by a door!" The voice called. I tried to get up again, ignoring the thumping pain. I tried to get up onto my knees, but either my balance or the van shoved me sideways, onto the ground again.

"Now!" He cried in desperation. I crawled to the front of the van, and to my alarm I saw two black SUVs next to either window, and I could hear a rhythmic thumping from outside. It took me a moment to realise it sounded like a helicopter.

"How on earth am I… going to su-… survive jumping?" I slurred.

"It's only a precaution, but we need it there. Anyway, you shouldn't have concussion in your condition. If it looks like we're-" He suddenly braked hard, then turned a sharp left, smacking my head on the window, but he'd lost the two SUVs. He was now driving so fast I thought he would lose control.

"Where are we going?" I asked, it didn't look like we were going to get rid of the helicopter.

"The city. The helicopter can't trace us there if we swap vehicles."

"How long will that take?" I asked.

"Uh-" he took another sharp turn, just as I caught sight of an SUV in the mirror. "Two hours at most- but at this speed-" He swore loudly as a car came down the middle of the narrow road, straight towards us. He didn't turn, but ploughed straight towards it.

"What the-" I shrieked.

"This van can take it." He cried, but the other car swerved off the road just before impact. The van hit the side of it, threatening to shove it off the road, but Jacob braked just as he threw the wheel over, skilfully stopping the van before he jammed his foot on the accelerator and we launched forward again. I wondered if Jacob was high, because no ordinary person would have the skill to get away with that kind of driving. But though his eyes were wild, I didn't think he was.

I was beginning to feel safe with him. Well, not safe. I hadn't felt safe since before the kidnap. But I felt that if I could trust anyone- if anyone could make me feel safe- this was him. He didn't have allegiances to either of the parties in my life… I saw him as a nomad, like me. And there was something about the way his eyes were intuitively jumping from the mirror to the road… to me, and the power he was inspiring in the van that made something in me move, like a tide of admiration.

And… he wasn't… bad looking. But I stopped that thought in it's tracks. I knew enough about those feelings now to know they were painful and futile. I had enough self-control to deny them, didn't I? I didn't equal any happiness in that part of my life. If I was ever going to have a life.

His muscles rippled under his russet skin, and I forced myself to look away. Yes, he was attractive. I could admit that without admitting an attraction. I didn't know him.

Yet he was the only person who seemed to care about me enough to get me out. There must have been some connection there, and I wondered what it was.

Somewhere in my thoughts, Jacob sighed in relief.

"We're in the city." I looked around. We were turning off a motorway I hadn't even realised we were on- into an area with high buildings and lots of shops. I couldn't see anything of the SUVs from earlier, and the helicopter was forced to fly higher with the skyscrapers.

"Now, Bella, listen. We're going to need to change vehicles. At the moment- it's going to be onto bikes- are you okay with that?" For a moment, I didn't realise what he meant. Then- motorbikes.

"Well, I'm not sure I'll be able to hold on… I'm not at my strongest at the moment."

"I'll strap you to me if I have to- it's the fastest way to get around here. We're going to stay the city overnight-"

"Overnight? Is that safe?" I interrupted.

"No, it isn't, but if we're going to make any progress tomorrow, which we will, you and I need to be well-rested and- well, you need the strength. But don't worry, I know where we can stay." He pulled off into an alley as he said that, and I got out, my legs shaking beneath me. I hated being so weak. Jacob was right. He held my upper arm to steady me, then changed his mind and curled his arm around my back, holding me up as he started walking. I didn't dislike the proximity, and it was helping me stay upright.

He was walking very quickly. He was also supporting all of my weight, so my feet were barely touching the ground. He was leading me down the side streets expertly- he really knew his way around. We also only saw two people, so he must have chosen his route carefully. A couple of times I felt like I was going to faint- I really loathed my body at those moments- and he paused to let me recover. But then carried on faster. I kept feeling him turn his head to the skies briefly, to look for helicopters.

At one point we stopped, and I was very confused. He took me inside a tiny clothes store and bought a cardigan, a hat and a brown jacket. He put the cardigan and hat on me. I was almost too weak to understand. He donned the jacket before we started walking again. We stopped again after about an hour. It was beginning to get dark.

"We're going to stay here for the night, okay?" He asked, and I looked up at the small hotel that blended in with the rest of the tall, narrow street. I'd been in worse. I crashed straight after being shown a room, and had a fitful sleep before being woken at eight, so my clock said. Jacob had sat on the bed, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"You need to eat. They have a small bar downstairs." This surprised me, but I was hungry. I was also feeling better.

It was a very small bar, but we ordered sandwiches and sat at the only table. I then asked the question that had kept arising in my peaceless sleep.

"Why are you helping me? Who are you?" Jacob looked at me for a while before murmuring very quietly.

"I work for the Cullens." I was sure my shock appeared on my face, but Jacob appeared not to register it.

All the hope that had built against my will, all the tentative speculations about my future dissipated. The Cullens. I was being tossed from one organisation to another- what was I, a baseball?

The fear was increasing again now, and Jacob must have seen it in my eyes.

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let anything happen to you." The sincerity was deep in his eyes, and I almost believed him.

"How can I trust you?" I whispered. But the real question was, how can I trust anyone? The barman put the sandwiches on the bar, so I collected them and sat back down, wolfing mine down. Seeing this, Jacob pushed his to me wordlessly.

"Bella, I know what it's like to feel like you belong to both of them. I can't go back now. Every step I take I have to take knowing that's the direction I'll have to take for the rest of my life, and every step shortens my life. And I have other ties. I have my family, and my old friends, who I hide in the back of my mind and hope my work doesn't put them in danger. My life is like a river- it doesn't stop anywhere, and when it carves out a path it has to take it.'

'And you, I've been assigned to you for such a long time. The kidnap plan came into shape four years ago, and I was brought in then. I started work for the Volturi, and pushing myself to the place I needed to be- your driver on that night. I wouldn't blame you for hating me for the part I've played in turning your life upside down, but I assure you I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't thought it was for the greater good. For you, I mean. I guess you barely noticed me in all the time we spent together over the last few years, but I know you very well now. I've committed my life to this world- of crime and deception. I've never seen anyone like you, not even Edward and Alice.'

'Protecting you has become the point of my life. I never had a say in the Volturi's decisions about you- but I stood outside the door where they were torturing you for countless nights, and I heard your screams. I couldn't do anything, but I knew we'd get you out someday. But every scar you have,' And he ran his warm finger down the inside of my forearm, which was resting on the table, 'I feel personally guilty for, as if it was me who carved your life to be this hellhole of pain.'

'I've stopped seeing you as the vulnerable girl though. I stopped that early last year, when you first spoke to me. I don't imagine you remember it, you were drugged on painkillers from the torture at the time. You were about to sleep, I think, and I'd carried you back to your room after they gave you this,' he didn't touch me this time, just caressed the air above the burn on my shoulder, hidden by the cardigan, as if it disgusted him.

'I asked if you needed something, and you snapped back 'I don't need any help. I don't need anything.' You probably thought nothing of it, and neither would I if my career wasn't centred around you. I bet this sounds quite creepy to you, knowing I was so close and always watching, but I realised then that you needed anything, because you had nothing. You became a lot more sociable in the last year, preparing for the meeting, but then you were still a child, at least in my eyes, and you were nasty to everyone because everyone was nasty to you.'

"No, they weren't. I don't remember that." I said, confused. What was this guy on about?

"Where did you get those scars, Bella? Are they the marks of kind people?"

"And who are kind people in this world, Jacob? The Cullens?" I spat.

"The Cullens made a lot of wrong decisions with you. The first being Edward. I was furious about that. I had quite a lot to say about you with the Cullens, because I was their insider. They let me help make decisions, because I was the only one who knew you. But Edward was a last minute decision- I bet it was Rosalie's- and I was too caught up in 'helping' the Volturi's search for you to find out about it until after- and you were gone by then."

"What are you talking about?"

This man should have frightened me, he knew so much about me. But I was used to my life being out for everyone to see- the scars said most of it. And this man intrigued me. There was something compelling about the way he leaned in to talk to me, and the way his voice got deeper and quieter when he was overcome with emotion, that drew me in. Dangerous, I knew, but I couldn't help it. At some point while he was talking, the bartender asked if we wanted drinks, and I asked for some spirits. I wanted to drown away the current insecurity in my feelings.

"Edward Cullen. Oh, come on, you must have noticed." I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't understand how it related to the conversation. "He was told to get close to you."

The blow was blunt, and almost painless at that moment, but it was a blow all the same. It was like a wound that my body was killing the pain of, and that I would feel the wrath later. He was told to get close to me. He was told to create the strange, hormonal… romantic feelings I began to get for him. The first kiss… I just about knew as much. He told me it was Rosalie's idea. But due to my stupid teenage reactions I clung to it- even though I knew it was opening myself up for torture. I hadn't had any affection before- and it must have been obvious. So they exploited me. I got our drinks, and immediately downed mine, asking for more. The burning down my throat intensified the anger I was feeling, and… the betrayal.

"I guess it was… their own form of torture…" Jacob was saying. I wasn't listening any more. I felt betrayed… and I couldn't understand why. Had I really put my feelings on the line for Edward? No. The only claim I had to him, well, about him, was that he was the one who made my pain in the Volturi bearable. But the attention he had given me… the looks… the determination that caused him to chase after me and kiss me… trying to persuade me to stay. I'd never understood that, and avoided thinking about it… why had he run after me? And despite trying to avoid thinking about it, I had hoped… I had hoped that he had really wanted me to stay. That for once, someone had wanted me… And that was why I felt betrayed. That his kisses were nothing but a tool to make me stay. He may not have even liked me at all. I sank back another one of my drinks, gesturing for more. Jacob tried to protest, saying about my health, but I needed something to distract me. Besides, I'd never got drunk before.

Would I ever know what it felt like to be wanted? It felt stupid, asking that… because there were two organisations practically fighting over me. But I had felt wanted, for the first time in my life… And the only? Suddenly I realised it wasn't. It couldn't be the only. Because I had someone here- in front of me- who was willing to brave the terrible luck that stalked me, and save me from it. Here was someone who might actually care about me- and who was proving it.

But the cynical voice in my head told me that he was only doing it because he worked for the Cullens, or he was part of a bigger plan to punish me again- who knew what the Cullens would do when I got back? My heart was convincing me otherwise- giving me hope again. Hope for a better life- and happiness. That alien word which might as well never had meaning to me. I didn't think, at that moment, that I'd ever felt it. Could this be the man strong enough to show it to me?

"- the power they would hold over you. I never properly got the reasons. Rosalie told me, and by the sound of it she convinced them it would be a good way to hold you there, to make you trust them and want to stay there. Didn't you think it was odd the only pain you had there was a cold room? Yes, that was organised too." Another blow to the hopes that had grown there… everything had been planned, manipulated. Those nights where we had slept in the same bed, like lovers, had been a plan to manipulate my will for their own good.

"The nights you spent there were controlled in every aspect of the word. I was furious when I found out… but by then it was too late. And I knew what would be waiting for you when you got back… they had lost need for you. And I tried, for the first time, to stop what they were going to do to you… but it was useless. I'm so sorry… but I finally did something about it. I wasn't going to let you die. But seeing you so weak-" I hissed on reflex. He gave me an apologetic look. "It makes me so angry that I couldn't, didn't do anything before." His shoulders were shaking with emotion he was trying to hold back, and the alcohol freed me from feeling embarrassed.

"It's all right, Jake." I was slurring my words now. "You're the only person who has ever felt anything for me, cared about me. The one person- the one person in the world who I thought might have ca-ared- didn't. But you've been there all- all along and I only wish I could have known. I-I've always needed a friend, and ev-even though as well as you that you couldn't have stopped the torture, I didn't mind it so much at the time. I was proud of it." It was only hearing my tone turn bitter that I realised my feelings about them had changed. Jacob was making me entertain the idea that life didn't have to be that way- I'd always been made to think that I would be stronger because of the torture, the loneliness. They had shaped me how they wanted me to be, and only by meeting new people did I realise how much I'd been brainwashed. I'd always sort of known, but it hadn't bothered me. Why should it? I'd never known anything different. But now I had, I'd seen a bit more of the world and kindness- I'd experienced kindness. And much as it baffled me, I loved it. I was craving it. But I had a wall built between me and my emotions. They made- "The scars are part of who I am."

And it was true. But what if Jake didn't like what they had done to me- and therefore didn't like me? I needed friendship, and my drunkenness showed me that. And the freedom the alcohol created made me tell Jake, even though I was horrified about this in the morning. "I need friendship, Jake. It's like all the years of loneliness are crashing down on me now I know what it's like, and I need it more than ever. I really need a friend, Jake. I don't care that you didn't- you didn't stop them, but please don't leave me now, I need someone here, to look me in the eye and genuinely show me that they care."

"I'll be here, Bella. I'll be tha-" Jake told me, his hand covering mine.

"Bar's closing now." The barman told us. I stood up, to be rewarded with a thumping in my head. Oh, I had such a headache. I only noticed the feel of Jake's arms around me, holding me, and then we were outside my door. I felt like I'd travelled a million miles, and I was exhausted. But I was also exhilarated, by the new tentative promise of life that Jake was giving me.

_Maybe I had something to live for._

And maybe it was that, or maybe the fact that I was pissed out of my head, but I leaned up and pressed my lips to Jacob's in the doorway. I didn't know what it meant, and I don't think he did either, and I had torn him. He lifted his hands up, as not sure whether to respond and I understood why. Did this mean anything or was I just pissed? And the truth was, I didn't even know. But I kept my lips there, and gradually his hands came down to cup my face.

He started to respond- gently moving his lips against mine, still unsure but I could feel his need. Maybe he had been as lonely as I was. But I felt a connection with him, and his brutal honesty made me like him more, having grown up in a world where honesty was a fault. But my world was changing, and it almost felt like it was too late, I'd been like this for too long. But Jacob warmed the stone in my heart, and I knew that I had a chance of changing. But I had to act now, and welcome him into my life. Because the warmth and the security in his eyes drew me, and was like nothing I'd felt before.

But maybe because I was drunk, the kiss didn't erupt fireworks. His hands were hot on my face, and his lips sweet against mine, but there wasn't an electricity. But I still needed it, and maybe that's why I pressed my body against his, curling my hands in his hair. He responded by placing a hand on my lower back, curving me into him, and pressing me lightly against the door. I could feel his need now- he'd definitely been as lonely as me.

Finally we drew apart, and a true smile lit his face, his teeth so white against his dark skin they seemed to be rays of light. I bid him goodnight and opened my door. Tomorrow I'd be back with the Cullen Clan.

**En request, I have made a really long chapter. Not the longest, but long. Sorry it's taken so long to update, but life is busy and short.**

**I'd like to congratulate Twilight0394 for guessing correctly about the outcome! But no one guessed that the driver was Jacob lol. I'm not Team Jacob, but I like him, he's a good character, and I like the idea that he is Bella's natural path, if Edward is her supernatural.**

**Now, if I may, I have a few stories which may interest you while you are waiting for my next update. Please check them out- I only recommend stories if they are amazing.**

1. She Wants to Play Hearts

Can love save a life or only postpone death? Edward, captain of rebel troops is ordered to kill his danger magnet captive. Bella asks for a last wish of a little time, knowing to save herself she must make Edward fall in love with her. Will it be enough?

Twilight - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,710 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 4-6-09 - Published: 3-28-09 - Edward & Bella

**This one is really great- the electricity is amazing, and I love the storyline.**

10. Hiding in Plain Sight

Bella is a witness in peril. Emmett Cullen is the deputy assigned to protect her. When the witness protection program isn't safe, Emmett asks Bella to pose as his brother Edward's fiancée until the trial. AU, AH, ExB, Canon couples.

Twilight - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 92,821 - Reviews: 2880 - Updated: 2-15-09 - Published: 9-15-08 - - Bella/Edward

**This is a really great storyline, and you wonder where you want the story to go- its fantastic!**

6. Another way to die

Bella is nearing 16, the daughter of the king of Italy. Edward is 17 and the brother of the leaders of the Mafia. He wants to walk in his their footsteps for honour. So when Bella runs away from the life she never wanted, Edward is ordered to kidnap her..

Twilight - Fiction Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 37,542 - Reviews: 483 - Updated: 2-16-09 - Published: 11-9-08 - Edward & Bella - Complete

4. Without a Gun

It has been 4 months since they escaped Italy,but when those you thought you would never see again return,New struggles appear as intentions become clear and what would you do if you had to risk the life of the one you loved? Sequel to Another Way To Die!

Twilight - Fiction Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,236 - Reviews: 152 - Updated: 3-16-09 - Published: 2-16-09 - Bella & Edward

**I'm sure I've recommended these before, but they are amazing. Another Way to Die caused me to get a move on and write this story, after I've had the idea for ages. **

**OK, so read those while you are waiting for the next update. Which may be a while, I'm sorry. But I'm already working on it, and it's going to be long, and you are going to like it!**

**Oh yeah, and you know that old wives tale? The one that reviews make authors happy and speed up updates?**

**Shall I tell you a secret?**

**ITS TRUE. So if you like this story, please tell me. **


	11. Chapter 11

**The song that I listened to while writing this was Human by The Killers. It fits in very well with a certain part, I'll put in a little AN if you don't mind. Please listen to it, it sets the mood.**

**Chapter 11**

So, I was back. I was staring at exactly the same buildings that I had been desperate to escape all that time ago. It felt like years. I had definitely changed. But the buildings were very imposing, and I shuddered. I didn't know whether I was scared, or pleased, or nervous… My insides felt like they were skimming on air. I felt a great pull towards it, and my memory kept replaying my last seconds here… they were painful. Now I knew the truth.

"Shall we?" Jacob asked, after I had been frozen for about ten minutes. Patience had limits.

Things had been slightly awkward between us this morning, after kissing him. I wasn't sure how I felt, and being sober with a blender-brain didn't help much. I wasn't prepared to through my emotions over the edge again, but I knew Jacob was very special, and I must have meant a lot to him. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to kiss him again- or how I'd react to seeing Edward again. I couldn't wait to see him, my heart was aching with the thought of seeing him, and I felt like every nerve was on fire with excitement. But I was furious, and hurt so deep I couldn't even understand it.

Jacob had called the Cullens this morning, getting the final details of how we were going to get there. I hated how my heart had sped up when I realised how close I was to going back. I hated it, so much. My eyes filled with bitter tears that I blinked away furiously before Jacob could see.

I wasn't ready, not in any way, but I knew that I was never going to be, so got off the bike and stumbled. I was gaining strength, but my leg was still incredibly painful. I really needed a doctor. And the fear that was running cold through my blood was making me feel like I was breathing adrenaline. Jacob caught my arm before I fell. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bring myself to look at anything. Why didn't I die when I could've?

He began to walk me to the doors. I recognised the door we went through as the one I had shot open- the one Edward had blocked. I couldn't meet the eyes of the security guards- I had shot their last ones. Why was I coming back? They'd accuse me of murder. I was shaking with fear now. I was walking into enemy territory- and, worse, it was one of the safest places in the world for me. And I had a huge pull to go forward, I couldn't control it.

We went up the stairs, and down I corridor I recognised… then I saw a door… it was my room.

"Do you want to leave the cardigan there? It's warmer now." Jacob suggested. I frowned- was this still my room?

"Um, is this… Am I staying here?" I asked. Oh no… this room… it held memories. I'd slept with Edward in that bed… Jacob nodded. He opened the door for me, and I tried not to look at the room while putting my cardigan away. I came out immediately. What were we going to do now? We started walking down the corridor again, and then we went back down the steps. And then I saw him.

I felt him more than saw him. Something hot and fast gushed through my body like lava, and my body froze into rock. It felt like the ground on which I never fit but was cursed to walk was settling, like the plates of my world were moving. I can hardly describe how seeing him again confirmed my worst feelings. He'd seen me before I saw him- he was watching us from the bottom of the stairs. In the same place where I'd almost killed him. Jacob realised a second after me- and in that second so much had happened it felt like hours- I think, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I thought I heard him growl something under his breath in hate. Torn in the inexplicable betrayal and anger trying to make me stay, and the pulling my furiously pumping heart was trying to drag me down the stairs to him, I froze, like a rabbit caught in the eyes of a snake. His face was just as I remembered- it was perfect. His expression was- His eyes were reaching for me, looking at me as desperately as my heart was pounding, but his face was as cold as the ice in my veins.

His eyes then flickered to Jacob, to Jacob's arm holding me up, the blood that had seeped through the jeans I'd been wearing when I last saw him, torn apart by the torture that night. My body had started shaking again. I thought I was going to faint- I couldn't stand the overload of emotions. I didn't want them, need them, and I couldn't deal with them.

His eyes flashing to mine at the same moment as mine flashed to his, assessing me… his wink across the table- personal relations… his eyes catching mine after leaping out of the window… his voice whispering nonsense in my ears to soothe me, his cool arm on my shoulders awkwardly… his fingers locked around my wrist… his shocked expression when I caught him staring at my legs… the soft whisper in the night, 'Do you need to be held, Bella?'… waking up with my fingers curled around his neck… a cool finger stroking my neck and a hushed whisper in my ear… his hand gripping mine… his fingers brushing my leg… his eyes watching me warily, pressing his lips to mine… the amusement twinkling in his eyes when I hit my head on the bedpost… his horrified gaze when he realised what my scars were… the curious gesture of getting me my hairbrush in the morning… wrapping his arms around me in his sleep… holding me tighter when I struggled… flipping me over, being confronted with his eyes first thing in the morning… turning from the fresh blood pouring out of the guards head, to see him blocking the door… calmly explaining to me that I couldn't shoot him… and the cold realisation that I couldn't… fingers snagging my ankle and forcing me back… his eyes on fire, scorching mine… crushing me against the fence, tasting his passion… my body rippling in his arms from the electricity… and the betrayal in his eyes before I climbed out of his life…

I couldn't handle it. I bolted, shooting straight back up the stairs to my room and slamming the door, leaning against it, then sliding down to curl up in a ball on the floor. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my body felt like it was collapsing inside- like the plates of my world were closing in. I was having trouble breathing, I could feel the tension of a panic attack. I concentrated on breathing- in and- out. In… and out. Only when I thought I'd relaxed enough to not have an attack did I hear the knocking on the door. I didn't want to let Jacob in, no one should see me like this… but I needed to stop him knocking, make him go away.

I got up and opened the door. I saw _him_. And Jacob. Wordlessly I pulled Jacob in, shutting the door in Edward's face, the hatred welling up like tears. But he lodged his foot in the door and demanded in a low voice,

"Bella, are you all right?" His voice was strained and painful. Probably because he didn't care.

"No, thanks to you." Jacob hissed, kicking his foot out the way and shutting the door. Then he wrapped his arms around me tenderly, holding me up so I wouldn't fall, and I leaned into his arms. It wasn't fair, holding him like this because I was upset about Edward… but I needed it. He stroked my hair and my face, wiping my tears away. He looked at me tenderly, concerned, but I got the impression of currents flowing under the surface- he was holding me a bit too tightly, his eyes looked hard.

I held my breath to stop myself from sobbing any more, trying to think of the arms I was _in_, instead of Edward's. It helped that he smelled nice, and my head was buried in his chest. I felt so confused. I really liked the security Jacob made me feel- he was so genuine, and honest. I'd never experienced honesty in my world, and I was attracted to it's security. And he really did want me, wanted me to live. For reasons I couldn't fathom, reasons besides the life I had to live. The kind of reasons… I wished Edward would have. But he didn't. He'd been told to touch me, to kiss me. To inspire those feelings in me. I had to get rid of them now, because I wanted to be with Jacob. I'd finally been thrown a raft in my sea of loneliness… and I still had the feelings left over from when the Cullens screwed around with my mind.

Jacob had waited a long time for me and was the first person to ever do something for my own good, for me. His personality fit with mine, which was more than I could say for Edward. The only real bond I had with him was physical- he was very attractive. And everything else meant nothing, was nothing. So I should concentrate on Jacob, which would ease the pain with Edward. I looked up to his face- he was so tall- and he looked at me tenderly. I felt tears push past my eyes again, and instead of wiping them away, Jacob kissed them away, his lips lingering on my cheekbones. His mouth brushed down till it touched my lips, and he rested them there, instead of kissing me. It was comforting, but my breathing was speeding up again. In a good way. I closed my eyes, trying to relax and ignore the emotions crippling me inside. Slowly he started moving his lips, still just relaxing me. I started responding, pulling him closer. It felt so natural, as if we'd been together for years.

Eventually we broke apart, just to stare at each other. There wasn't a chance that this man was going to rush things with me. We were still holding each other when the door was opened.

It was Edward. I turned my head away immediately, burying my face against Jacob, trying to wall him out of my mind.

"Bella, you are invited to dinner with Carlisle." Silence. I was trying to block out his voice.

"I'll take you down." He said. I winced in Jacob's arms.

"That will not be necessary," Jacob growled, holding me tighter.

"Rosalie and Jasper would like to speak to you. Now." Edward said calmly. I shook my head. I didn't want to be left with Edward. He made me feel so vulnerable, and yet I was so angry with him I couldn't speak.

"They can wait. I'll take Bella down, then see them."

"They're in the other building, Jacob Black. Go. I won't harm Bella." Edward said softly.

"That's what you said before the kidnap! She's terrified of you, Edward. She doesn't want to be alone with you." There was silence for a moment.

"There's no reason for her to feel like that. I would never do anything to harm her. I'd like to speak to her… and apologize. I won't do anything to harm her. Go, Jacob. Now." The threatening tone was ominous, and I didn't want to see the looks they were giving each other. Jacob's grip on me loosened, and I clung to him tighter. But he prised my fingers away, and walked out. I stayed with my back to Edward.

When I turned around he was a lot closer than I thought he would be. His expression was regretful. Bile rose in my throat in disgust, and I clenched my fists, trying to stop myself from hitting him. I walked out, and he joined me, taking me down to where I knew the dining hall was.

Somehow the silence made the anger build up again. I hated how controlling he had been of Jacob, just on principle. And I hated the way his eyes still had me captured, so much so that I knew I still had a long way to go with Jacob. I hated how I had to concentrate on not looking at him, how I was tempted to make my hand brush his, to recreate the moments we had before. I hated how I felt like I had been looking for him since I left, how it felt like I had finally found something very precious that I had been looking for for too long. His presence made me feel warmer, in a way that Jacob's could not. And it made me even angrier, because Jacob needed and deserved that more than Edward ever would.

**(A/N: Go onto youtube and search Human by The Killers)**

Suddenly I felt something brush my hand, so gently, and I knew it had been Edward's hand because I felt a shock all the way up my arm. I jumped, and glared at him. He was glaring at me, and then he took an immediate right, making sure I was following, and we went down some steps. We weren't going in the same direction any more, but I knew I wouldn't have been able to find the dining room anyway. Then he opened a door at the end of a corridor, and I followed him in. He shut the door with a pair of clicks before I realised he'd taken me into a large room which was definitely not the dining room. Before I could say anything, he demanded,

"What the hell is going on?" I was perplexed for a moment.

"What do you mean?" I hissed, with all my bitterness and hatred stinging every word.

"What the hell happened to you? And what have _I_ done wrong?" He was raising his voice slightly, his voice strained as if trying to keep it under control.

I had no idea how to answer him. So I muttered under my breath, looking at my feet.

"What happened to me is none of your business, though I'm sure you can guess." I saw him step towards me, and gave him a warning glance from under my lashes, telling him not to come any closer, trying to hide the panic that was rising in my throat because he had me in a room alone.

"It's my business because I care. No one should have done that to you, Bella."

"I can deal with physical pain, Edward. I don't need your sympathy. Not that it means anything." I muttered the last bit under my breath, and I was sure he hadn't heard. "It's the emotional blackmail that I can't deal with, Edward. That's what you've done wrong." I whispered it, incapable of being menacing and terrified of talking, hating that he had opened me enough to get me to admit it.

"What do you mean?" Edward had walked up to me, and spoke softly, trying to lift my bent head with his middle finger on my chin. My whole body shuddered at his touch. I blinked back angry tears and staggered away from him. He caught my wrist, pulling me back. I took my leg back to knee him, and he let me go, moving away. Suddenly my anger was back, and it swelled up through me. I whipped my tear filled eyes towards him, glaring at him through wet spiky lashes.

"You manipulated me. You tried to f*** around with my feelings, Edward! You lied to me, you accepted instructions to deliberately f*** me around, and to try to use my emotions at your disposal! I thought you Cullens were supposed to be above emotional blackmail!"

He walked over to me, a couple of steps away.

"Bella, you don't-" I took a step backwards.

"You're not seriously pulling that one on me? That I've got it wrong? You can't carry that on any more Edward- I know you were told to get close to me, the room was kept cold so I would let you into my bed at night!" He took another step towards me, something burning in his eyes, and I stepped back on reflex. I felt my foot touch something, and I glanced around to look. It was a bed.

_He'd taken me to his bedroom_. My heart galloped as I panicked, furious, feeling like he'd cornered me. I bolted for the door, forcing down the handle. It was locked, and I swung around to confront him. He was inches from my face. He took my breath away, and my mind blanked of thought. He looked furious, and his face looked beautiful even in anger.

"Have you kissed Jacob Black?" He growled at me. I barely registered the surprise before it was gone and the hate washed over me again.

"How is it any of your business, Cullen?" I retorted, not noticing how he was advancing, backing me up into the door. He was incredibly close to my face.

"And did you feel the same feelings for his," his nose was brushing my cheekbone. I was frozen like prey caught in a predator's eyes again. "kisses as you do for mine?" I struggled to breathe, but snapped back at him,

"What are you talking about? I had no feelings in-"

His mouth crashed down hard on mine, and he shoved me against the door, wrapping an arm around me and holding my head to his with his fingers entangled in my hair. I tried to free my hands, which were tight to my side in his embrace, and managed to claw one arm free to try to push him away. Pushing me harder against the wall, his arm came around to ensnare my wrist. That freed my other arm, which I brought up but he caught that too, and raised both wrists above my head. And somewhere in between I gave in to his lips' demands, forcing my passion back against his. His tongue slipped past my lips to force my mouth open, and battle with me as I responded.

I had to be closer to him, feel more of him, the desperation became worse with every second even though I knew that finally I had what I needed- him, and all the passion he had awakened in me before. Then I remembered all the reasons why I was angry at him, why I hated him. He was using me again! Manipulating my feelings! And that made me try to shout at him through his lips, but his tongue caught mine, paralysing it from speaking. So I struggled harder for my wrists to be freed, and he groaned again, making my knees collapse so Edward held me tighter against the wall to stop me sinking.

I broke the kiss to gasp for breath, and he licked my lips and then covered my mouth again, and I basked in the passion, the inhibitions miles away. He groaned as I twisted closer to him, pulling my wrists higher, pushing me harder against the wall, the hand in my hair coming down to my lower back, forcing my body to melt into his.

His lips broke from mine to travel down my jaw, to my neck, where he whispered heavily into my collarbone,

"Don't tell me there weren't any feelings there, Bella."

He was breathing fast still, and sucking on my neck. I tried to shake my head, communicate that I didn't want him to use me like this, but his lips came up my neck and to my ear, where he whispered,

"Well?" I gasped as his cool breath washed over my face. I tried to free my wrists again, twisting them and pulling them down. But I wasn't strong yet, even if I was getting better every day. But he released my wrists, still gazing at me for a response. I didn't want to answer, didn't want to admit that there could be feelings there, under the physical attraction. So I just pulled him back to me, giving in to my lust. My body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending was charged. I was so excited that for once I was having an experience that a normal teenage girl could have. My mind was flying high and I knew I didn't want the feelings to end.

But they would. Edward was just using me. I had some kind of relationship with Jacob, and I wouldn't let something so lust-filled get between us. But that made me more desperate to enjoy the moment with Edward now. He responded to my passion but then pulled away from me, saying my name.

But I didn't want any words to spoil the moment that I knew I would never have again. I didn't want to think about what I was doing- making out with an enemy who had used me behind Jacob's back- I just wanted to enjoy the feeling. I didn't get this electricity from Jacob, I thought, when Edward pulled my head up to kiss my neck.

My eyes filled with tears, overwhelmed by my emotions. I couldn't understand it. Both my most aggressive defences were triggered by his presence and my strongest walls had broken down to reveal the side of me that I never even let into my own head. The human side, I realised later.

Yet I was in ecstasy, floating in a euphoria that made me feel so human and alive that I could not stop, though I knew I would have to. I pulled Edward's head back to mine, and I could tell he felt my desperation. His passion increased, and he tried to say my name again but I shook my head, still kissing him, and tears rolled down my face into our lips. He felt them, and his hand reached up to my face.

I didn't want to think about what I was doing, didn't want to remember who I was with and what he would and could and had done to me. I wanted to just enjoy the feeling, but Edward was trying to get through to me, break through the soaring feeling and desperation I was experiencing. I shut my eyes tighter, trying to shut him out somehow.

But then my conscience woke up, and I shoved him away on reflex. What the hell was I doing? The most basic of my Volturi instincts ran through my blood- it was the Cullen boy! The one who belonged to those low life scum that refused to merge with the Volturi.

And he had been using me. We had a good kiss, good chemistry, and he used that to his advantage to screw around with my brain. I had someone who would fill that gap for me- Jacob. So I murmured darkly,

"Open the door." He looked bewildered, but held up the key. I snatched it from his hand, opened the door and walked out, leaving him there. I had the urge to run away, try and leave this place, bury the memory. But I knew I couldn't, I had nowhere to go. They'd have me back in ten minutes. And besides, I had Jacob here. And I thought of that as I tried to find my way back to the dining room.

**I truly love writing this story. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Hey everyone! Sorry for this incredibly late update- I'm in the middle of my GCSEs if anyones heard of them. Anyone suffering with me? Anyway it's meant I've been doing an insane amount of work and been a very bad fanfic writer to all my lovely reviewers. **

**Um, if you have an aversion to violence there's a part which you should skip, I've labelled it. THIS STORY HAS BEEN UPGRADED TO AN M DUE TO THE VIOLENCE BUT IF U R PURELY A T READER I HAVE PUT NOTES AROUND THE VIOLENCE SO YOU CAN AVOID IT. **

Jacob came and sat with me that night, and I knew that, for once, it was because he cared- someone cared!- rather than he was watching over me to escape or trying to manipulate my emotions. I kept thinking about the kiss between me and Edward- the way I had felt, the way it seemed he felt- he shared my passion. But I knew it was nothing beyond that, and although passion is fine to enjoy, it was the long run I had to try and look at now.

And given my current situation, that was very difficult, so I might just try to control the very few things I could- the way I felt about others around me. I had to push Edward to the back of my mind before they could try to use me. And I knew that Jacob understood my issues with trust, and he didn't try to overstep the boundaries.

I wondered if Jacob knew what Edward had done in his bedroom. I thought probably not. He would have been really angry and probably ask me how I felt about it before doing something rash. There was a deep-set hatred for Edward from Jacob, I had seen it in the way he acted when he was around. I wondered why. Probably jealousy. Edward had it all in this business, contacts, education, prospects and even a family, when Jacob had had to climb through menial jobs and life threatening situations to finally be- what? A car driver and a spy? Who had to watch his superiors make the wrong decisions when he knew he could make better? No wonder he hated Edward.

It was warmer that night, Spring was finally coming back. I thought it was ironic that the room was warm when Jacob was in it- it represented how our relationship was a lot more warm and genuine than the one with Edward which was purely physical, no feelings except my own.

The dinner with Carlisle had actually been surprisingly- well, almost pleasant. He had appeared to care. He didn't ask about what had happened to me, but he and a doctor had examined me afterwards, and started to treat me. I was on medication to stop the infection spreading, and he said that I would need serious treatment on my leg to stop it having to be amputated. That terrified me- being weakened like that, when I still had so many enemies in and outside these walls. I had been assured by the doctor that it would not happen, but just the possibility was horrifying. So I submitted to their treatment, knowing that it was all that I could do.

During the first week I stayed there, I was flitted between private medical treatment in a clinical part of the buildings and eating, I seemed to be eating an awful amount. I felt stronger for it, but having a lot of food kept me sleepy as well. I saw Jacob as often as he could manage, and I tried my hardest to avoid Edward, which miraculously worked, because I managed to sleep through any 'family' meetings I might have had to attend with him. Also, I think that Jacob spoke to the medical team and told them not to let Edward in to where I would sometimes sleep in the medical area, judging by something he let slip about Edward trying and failing to visit.

Jacob made it clear that he didn't mind taking our relationship slowly, I think he felt my unease and hesitation to trust. And I was grateful, and of course it made me like him more.

I had not had much time to think since I arrived- I was always being examined, or eating, or in a deep sleep. But then, finally the question, that I'm sure they had tried to avoid me thinking, hit me when I was told that I would attend a 'family' dinner that evening.

_**Why**__ was I here?_

What was my actual purpose here? Why had they gotten me out of the Volturi- taken the trouble to find out if I was alive and risk a spy to get me out? What was the reason of my worth with them? Why did I have to attend 'family' dinners? I must have some worth or secret that they wanted from me. Why me?

So when I sat down to eat a beautifully laid out meal with Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward (Jasper was not present), I asked.

"Can I ask an honest question?" I directed at Carlisle. From the way his eyes slid away, I could tell the answer was _You won't get an honest answer_. But I asked anyway, just as Rosalie asked Emmett something.

It was very slickly done, but still definitely not enough to relieve my interest. As I asked,

"What do you want with me?" Carlisle answered Rosalie's question at the same time as Emmett, and Emmett said something funny so Edward laughed, but both of them had to repeat their answers and the conversation lit up from there. But the only thing that stopped me from pursuing it was Edward's hand on my knee. I flinched, and brought my small unused fork down to drive into his hand. I didn't push too hard before he whipped it away, but I think he got the message. _Get your bloody hands the hell off me_.

"What do you think, Bella?" Edward asked ten minutes later, referring to the conversation. I ignored him for a moment before saying,

"I disagree," taking a big mouthful so I could not respond to any more questions.

Edward kept trying to get my attention, asking my opinion. The worst time was when he tried to apologize. He entirely faced me when the other side of the table were engaged in a strong debate and murmured,

"Bella, look at me." I didn't and instead tried to tune into the debate so I could drown him out and start speaking to them to cut Edward off. But I couldn't.

"Bella, I'm sorry about what I did. But you have got it wrong, I wasn't doing-" I gave him a glare.

"Spare me your shit, Cullen. If you really didn't want to manipulate me, you wouldn't start it all over again the day I got back, would you?"

"That wasn't to try to manipulate you, Bella. That was to show you-"

"What? That it worked? It did to some extent, Cullen, but it doesn't anymore. I don't feel anything when you touch me except annoyance and anger. We have a physical attraction- that's all- and I'm with Jacob. So don't pull that shit again, because I don't want to be f*cked around, okay?"

A few minutes later Carlisle went onto a very curious topic for their jobs- amnesty.

"I'm sorry, what?" I spluttered.

"I said, the number of prisoners held at Guantánamo bay without trial has increased over the last few months by twenty percent."

"No- the bit after that." I lifted my eyebrow sceptically. This was so _not_ happening!

"I said I hope the new president makes releasing the detainees and holding fair trials in USA civilian courts for those charged his priority." Carlisle remarked, also lifting his eyebrows.

"How can you say that, in our business?" I noticed that everyone had put down their cutlery and was watching me incredulously.

"Bella, we're no amnesty, but our work is done for the government and we personally examine the cases of any people who are to be… killed, before doing anything. Several of our staff are members of the public who were going to be targeted by the government who we thought deserved a second chance."

"Why?"

"Bella, I do still believe in human rights."

"Why?"

"I believe the work we do enforces the law to some extent and helps to protect the public."

"So you manage to sleep at night by comforting yourself with the thought that you help people? At least the Volturi are realistic!"

"How do you manage to sleep at night?" This came from Rosalie.

"What exactly do you mean?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes. "I'm not part of any of your organisations."

"But you've killed people. Innocent people." Edward murmured. The tension in the room was thick and charged.

"I don't pretend to care." I said, staring out everyone at the table who were all looking at me with shock.

The tension never dissipated so dinner was tense and silent. When it was finished, Edward took my arm, which made me stiffen and flinch away.

"I need you to see something." He muttered. I was aware how he didn't let anyone else hear, and I shook my head, trying to yank my arm out of his grasp. When he didn't relinquish me I grabbed his other hand and yanked the fingers back. He let out a soft moan of shock and let go of my arm, and I stalked out of the room. But then he ran around and stood in front of me.

"Please, Bella. I won't try anything, I promise. I… don't want to." I eyed him suspiciously. I did not want to be alone with him, especially if no one else knew.

"I am not going to be alone with you." I stated bluntly, and tried to walk around him.

"I'll stay away from you, and we won't be alone anyway." I glared at him for a second more.

"All right, but do _not_ touch me." I conceded.

"I thought you didn't feel anything at my touch." He commented, leading me away from the dining room.

"Except anger. You have no right to touch me."

"Do you say that to Jacob?" I turned and slapped him.

"How _dare_ you! Me and Jacob is _none of your business_. Neither am I. He has earned the right to be with me-"

"Think highly of yourself, don't you?" Edward snapped. He looked furious- I'd never seen him so angry.

"Your organisation kidnapped me, _you_ have done nothing but manipulate me and no one in my f*cking life has been nice to me- except Jacob. So I'd say yes, he is the only one who has earned the right to be with me."

"You know nothing about him."

"I know how he treats me. I also know it is none of your business. So back off." I couldn't understand what his problem was.

He opened a door, which looked like a projection room. It had huge dark windows and a projector in the centre, allowing viewers to look down into the meeting. There was one man in there, who looked up at us in surprise then went back to his work on the computer, showing a film for a meeting happening in the room the windows showed below us.

Edward motioned to a couple of plastic chairs seated by the window and I took one, moving it obviously further from the one he would sit in, and looked down into the gallery.

There was a man talking occasionally, but I couldn't hear him. The main point of the meeting was some videos being shown of violence.

**(A/N People who do not like reading about violence, please stop reading now and scroll down to the next bold A/N)**

Men carrying weapons and beating defenceless men, men being shot repeatedly. It was happening on streets mainly, on backstreets in the dark. There was one in a room, where a woman was being tortured.

I could feel Edward's eyes boring into me. I didn't get what the point of this was, so my eyes glazed over a bit. Edward leaned forward and switched on something which suddenly meant we could hear the lecture.

The man was talking again.

"These was taken by a neighbour when the Volturi were sent to find out where Ben Cheney lived." Ah, so these were all the Volturi images. That's why Edward wanted me to watch them. He kept staring at me, and I didn't understand what he was trying to see.

This time it was a series of grainy photographs taken of a garden, obviously from the window of a neighbouring house. It was a woman with long dark hair with her mouth wide with soundless screams as men with batons beat her. I was surprised they were being so open- hadn't they checked for neighbours? This was a badly done job if neighbours could hear the woman screaming. They'd allowed themselves to be taped.

"Now we'll go inside their walls. This is an old video, taken by an inside man of their torture room- he managed to set up a pin camera inside."

A video of Jane, using her tiny lighter and oil this time. That was her favourite a couple of years ago. She'd done it to me once. Edward gasped from beside me, he was no longer looking at me. His eyes were bulging out of his head in horror, and tears fell down his cheeks. I looked away. What the hell? This confused me just as much as Carlisle's opinion on amnesty earlier. What hypocrites…

He murmured something I didn't catch. His hands were shaking.

"What?" My voice sounded loud and blunt in the small room.

"Elise…" He mumbled.

"Nepal? Did you meet her?" I asked.

"Yes." He whispered hoarsely. Ah.

"Were you… together?" I asked, a little more sensitively. He nodded. That had to be difficult, I guessed. I didn't chase it up, he didn't seem to want to talk about it. He wiped the tears away, and we carried on watching.

It was basically Jane's work over the last few years. It was like history to me- all the different methods she had used. She used a lot of them on me that night, probably because nothing worked. I'd seen some of the prisoners go into her room, I was surprised to see.

Edward shook my arm, and I winced away, but his jaw had dropped, and I saw his eyes flicker to the other man in the room, who was also staring at me. I frowned, then looked back at the screen.

Oh. It was me. I blushed furiously when I realised they'd taken an earlier one of me- before I had been trained. I was screaming- someone was stretching my back on a rack. It had been horrendous, and I was still quite young. Then the video changed- to someone else. But both the men in the room were still watching me as if I was going to collapse. I felt fine- just embarrassed. They'd picked an image where I looked weak, like any other victim. Like I wasn't proud of what I was doing, what I was born for. Which I was.

I glared at both of them, and they both flinched. The meeting continued, it basically seemed a review of some kind of the Volturi's work. I didn't understand why I was here- I knew all of this. I was kind of ashamed that the Volturi had let so many people film them. They hadn't done good cover-up jobs.

Then there was another one of me. I was much prouder when I saw it. Jane was burning my hair, and someone else was cutting deep into my arm- my hand immediately moved to brush the scar. But I was just staring into the walls of the room. That was taken a month before I met the Cullen Clan, testing me to see that I hadn't softened up.

Then there was one where a man was shaking a baby, while a mother looked on helplessly, held back by two men. They were shouting at her.

Edward was twitching beside me, but I couldn't see his problem. Did he know this one too? How was this filmed in the room?

Oh, maybe one of the Volturi's team filmed it to send it to someone. The father? Someone like Edward, who was repulsed.

A few more films played, they seemed to have a lot of the domestic ones, then another one of me.

This time I actually winced.

It was the last time I was tortured.

And it had sound. So I could actually hear what Jane was screaming at me.

They had put ethanol on the floor, and set fire to it, and put my feet in it while pushing my face up close.

"Where was their base?" Jane's hand shoved me away from the fire, and the other man in the room, Alec, put it out.

"How did you get out of it?" She lit a lighter right in front of my eyes, hers leering into mine. Then she set fire to my leg again. I could remember how the skin looked like it was boiling under her hand.

"What did they do with you?" Then Alec poured a liquid over the burn- I lolled my head back in silent pain in the video- it was an incredibly cold liquid.

"Did they torture you?" He poured it up my leg.

"Did they starve you?" He poured some on my head so it rolled down my face. I closed my eyes. I remember how horrible that felt- like someone was caging my brain in cold.

"Who was there?" She set fire to my sleeve, and held the lighter over my nails. I wasn't fighting against them- I knew better. But my mouth was shut, the only part of my tense body that was completely relaxed. It was like it solely had been drugged. Alec raked something along my arm which left a thick trail of blood.

"What were the names of the three men who kidnapped you?"

"Names! Give me names!" Edward had his face in his hands. In the video, I didn't appear to have heard her. Alec suddenly stomped on my foot, and the bone snapped loudly. Then Jane stood on my hand- the one with the burnt nails. There was still silence from me. My face almost looked like it was in a coma. My eyes were shut and all the muscles were relaxed. Jane screamed in frustration.

"Did you recognise anyone?"

Suddenly they started using nails, knives, scalpels, digging into my skin. I felt uncomfortable watching this- what was Edward trying to do? He could see I didn't tell them anything. My video self winced when Alec plunged a knife into my leg and twisted it. That was the wound that was so infected now.

"Did you see anyone called Jasper Hale?" Jane was passed a hammer.

"Anyone called Carlisle Cullen?" Jane was hitting me repeatedly now. No bones cracked- she knew where to hit, but bruises blossomed under her touch.

"What did you tell them?"

Suddenly my mouth opened. This was the part that forced me to look away. The loss of control that had suddenly overcome me was horrifying. But I could still hear it- my cries which sounded so twisted they could have been sobs or laughter. I looked up.

My body was heaving in maniacal movements, then I looked up at my torturers, the hysterical cries still escaping my mouth. My face was contorted and spasming- it was impossible to tell whether I was laughing or crying. My eyes looked finally terrified, and I knew why. I was scaring myself more than my torturers. My body suddenly collapsed and started to fit on the floor. Blood was still pouring out of my wounds, but my whole body was twitching. My eyes rolled around my head.

If I examined just my eyes, I looked terrified. My own body was torturing me, I had no control.

I couldn't take my eyes off my own, so I only noticed Alec when he leant down and injected something into my arm. What was he doing? I couldn't remember.

Then my eyes seemed to bulge out of my head, when my right leg suddenly froze. The other was kicking out beside it, like a dying fish, but slowly it stopped and froze as well. My eyes were petrified, and still rolling around my head. My whole bottom half was now paralysed. Alec filled another and shot it into my neck.

My violent fits started to recede to berserk twitching. My eyes were the last to shut, and there was a horrible moment when all but my eyes were frozen like I was dead, except my eyes, which were throwing themselves in every direction helplessly. They were terrified, and pleading. The emotion was obvious even to me.

Jane's laughter filled the silence as my eyes closed. She barked something, and Alec opened the door.

I gasped, air finally filling my lungs- I didn't realise I was holding my breath. Jacob had walked in. Jane instructed him something, motioning to me disgustedly. He picked me up gently in his arms and took me out.

(**A/N: Violent bit over. Open your eyes. Summary at bottom :**)

The video screen went blank. My eyes slid to the people attending the meeting. They were all wearing identical faces- of shock, horror, disgust, concern. Half of them were crying. Why? For me? I guessed it affected them like it affected Edward. Natural human instincts? I wouldn't know.

They started to leave, but I stayed rooted to my chair. I don't really know what I was thinking, but whatever it was it didn't let me move. Eventually Edward put his hand on my shoulder, and instead of flinching, I relaxed. Edward was here.

Then my mind screamed the illogic of that statement. But I dismissed it. I couldn't even reason with myself, sometimes.

I heard the buzz of his voice through my thoughts. I tried to focus.

"Come on, Bella. I'm sorry I made you see that. It really wasn't fair- I honestly did not know you were in it." I turned my eyes to him. I felt hollow, for some reason. He lifted his hand off me quickly, as if I was glaring at him.

"I don't care, it's fine." And for some reason it was. The thoughts that had been running through my head had been about Jacob, how he had been there even after that incident, and I had never even known. He was like my invisible angel.

I walked out, and Edward led me back to my room. He was giving me strange looks.

"What?" I asked.

"Why aren't you…"

"What?"

"You don't seem affected."

"That's not a question."

"Why?"

"Why what? That stuff is history to me. I don't know why you're so bothered- you grew up with it too."

He looked shocked.

"You've seen those videos before?"

"Well, not those ones. But some, yes. I know what my organisation does, I don't delude myself."

He looked appalled. He dropped me off at my room and locked the door. That was odd, Jacob wasn't here yet. And it was quite late, glancing at the clock. Maybe he was doing something at night.

Jacob did not come back that night.

Neither did he come back for the rest of the week. I didn't ask immediately, but I was surprised he had not said goodbye.

Eventually it became too much. I was not worried about him- he could definitely handle himself, of that I was sure. But I missed him, I wanted to know when he would be back. He had been my only friend, and it was certainly very comforting to have him around.

So a week later, after dinner with the Cullens, I asked Edward before I left,

"Do you know where Jacob is?" I saw his eyes harden, but he took me out of the room and spoke to me.

"I think you better sit down before I tell you." He said, leading me into a room neighbouring the dining room.

"What do you mean?" I knew where this was going, but I couldn't believe it. He was lying.

He sat down, and I sat down opposite him.

"Jacob was taken by the Volturi when he returned to them the night I showed you that video. He was kidnapped, tortured and killed."

I couldn't believe it. Not Jacob. He wouldn't go back to them without saying goodbye anyway.

"His body was left in a gutter near where you escaped with him- as a warning." Edward didn't meet my eyes.

Jacob- dead? There was no way. It was not possible- did God hate me enough that he had taken away my one refuge? I could not believe it.

"He couldn't…" I said. My voice sounded loud and clear compared to the whispering, weak tone of my thoughts.

"You saw the videos- you know they are capable."

"But not Jacob… not my Jacob." He could have outwitted them, I was sure. Edward still did not meet my eyes.

The news did not feel like it was sinking in at first, but as I sat there, I began to feel like something was boring a hole into my heart. My head was spinning, the distress swirling in my brain was indescribable. I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen, my brain was incredibly light, as if something had been taken away, but there was an excruciating pain there.

But my eyes were still fixed on Edward, and I was sure my expression and body had not changed from the appearance of polite interest. When Edward finally glanced at me, he appeared completely oblivious to the whirlwind of chaos and misery that was boiling inside me. Was there something wrong with me?

I got up swiftly and went for the door, barely hearing Edward's

"I'm so sorry. If there was anything we could have done… If you need anything-" before I slammed it.

I went up to my room, and that's where I collapsed. It was like the day I heard the Cullen Clan were not going to merge. My body collapsed against the door, shaking and crying. Tears had never rolled down my cheeks in such streams, I couldn't breathe.

My Jacob, beaten like the poor women in the videos. My hands raked through my hair, pulling at it fiercely through my sobs.

Jacob, being tortured by Jane, her lighter flicking around his body, firing questions at him. I curled up, my hands pulling my head down, nails digging into my skull as I tried to stop myself from thinking.

Alec delivering the final blow, as was customary. I cried out in horror at the image, my breath caught and unattainable as I struggled for power over my imagination, which had suddenly come over me and dominated my thoughts with a vengeance.

His body being dumped in a ditch, blood drying on his head. I held myself together with my arms, trying to clamp away the agonised, harsh cries that were forcing their way through my teeth.

The Cullen's finding it and assessing it clinically… My eyes were squeezed tight shut against the tears, but they still ran down my cheeks.

The way he had carried me from the treatment room, when I didn't even know who he was. I dug my nails fiercely into the wound on my leg, as if trying to stop the emotional pain with physical

My one ray of hope as I died in the cold room, bringing me food. I wished I had died then, before I could experience true torture such as this- why had I ever given my emotions to anyone?

Taking me out of my certain death, racing down Italian roads chased by the Volturi. I couldn't rid myself of all the memories that made me admire him so much. I tried to hold my breath against the sobs, but my face continued to splutter and cry out.

How I felt when, for the first time, someone told me they had actually cared for me, and been there for me, an invisible angel. I couldn't breathe- it felt like I was drowning in my own tears.

When I kissed him… My heart twinged in painful memories…

How he comforted me when I saw Edward again, tried to protect me from him. I tried to clamp my jaw against these tears, he wouldn't want me to break down like this.

I'd never even managed to thank him. What had he died for? What did any of us die for? What was the point of all of this?

The one person who didn't belong anywhere, who I might be able to create a future with. The tears were all gone now, but I continued to rock in dry sobs.

Where was my future now? I had no one left.

I had not been able to break down when I was outside, because that was how I was trained, built. I was a machine that could not break down in front of others. The only time when I had was when I received the shock that the point of my life didn't exist- the merger. But that was how I worked, I couldn't break down physically in front of others even if I was dying inside. The only other person who I had broken down in front of was Jacob, he was inside my walls.

And that meant that my walls were now destroying me. But I was, essentially, a machine. Who had finally discovered that she could feel, only to have them taken away by the people who created her.

I don't know how long I sat there, weeping, but eventually I cried myself to sleep and dreamt dark, dangerous, violent dreams where I'm sure I heard my own screams mingle with the ones of the victims. Jacob was there, constantly watching, but whenever I tried to reach out to him, it was as if there was a barrier. It was like I was being held back, and I didn't know what for. Edward was there as well, but he wouldn't meet my eyes, and his hands held me back when I cried out for Jacob.

I woke up with my face salty from dried tears and still curled up in the foetal position I had curled up in to cry, my back against the wall.

Finally there was a soft knock at the door. I uncurled from the door, all my muscles stiff and sharp pains shooting everywhere- especially in my leg where I had reopened the wound. I opened the door- still on my knees.

It was Edward. Of course it was. He gave me one look, shut the door and dropped to his knees as well. I moved away from him- he was giving me a very uncomfortable stare, I must have looked awful.

"Give me a minute." I asked, my voice as cracked and dry as a desert. I shuffled off to the bathroom, trying to pull myself up but my legs buckled. I felt a cold hand on my arm as Edward lifted me up and supported me into the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet, and began to clean up my face with a flannel.

I couldn't look into his eyes. But I could feel how his never left me, as he knelt in front of me, gently clearing my face of the remains of my sobbing. To my surprise, he also brushed my hair out for me when he was done. Eventually I met his eyes.

His eyes slid away. He almost looked guilty. I felt bad. It wasn't his fault. He led me back into my room and I felt apprehensive- what was he going to tell me now?

"Are you any better?" He asked. He tried to sit me on my bed, but I slipped off and slid down the wall. He sat down near me. I couldn't help it but some tiny voice in my head reminded me that this was where he first kissed me.

"No."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." I glanced up, his eyes were on his hands. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see how you were."

"Please don't give me that shit. Why are you here?" I stared at him, and he clearly wasn't comfortable meeting my gaze.

"My family have a proposition for you-"

"Finally." I almost laughed. Took them long enough. Why wait for now though?

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, no one would tell me why I was here, why you bothered getting me out of the Volturi. I figured there was something up your sleeves. Hit me with it."

"It's not quite like that, Bella." His eyes looked seriously pained.

"Enlighten me."

"As you've seen, the Volturi's crime is unstoppable and brutal. They work for all the worst reasons- for drug dealers, for their own terrorisation and to support terrorists." I bit my lip from any comment. "We've been trying to stop them for over twenty years now."

"Wait, what?"

"As you know, we work for the government. Our organisation has been trying to dissemble the Volturi for a while now. We need your help. Your existence has always been very important to us, that's why Jacob… was planted. You're the only person who could possibly know enough to help us finish them."

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" My mind felt blank, I couldn't concentrate, even though I knew this was big news.

"Well… We needed you as strong as you could be to start helping us, so we had to wait for you to recover enough. And there's someone you should meet."

I began to think about it. I was beginning to see the Volturi more objectively- from my world revolving around them, I was gradually seeing how the world I had perceived really wasn't what my world had to be. I didn't have to be alone. Of course I was now- my one friend had gone. And I knew who I had to thank for that.

Revenge. I could stop anyone else's family being taken away. I was beginning to understand, to empathise with the women I had seen in the videos. I could feel their physical pain- I knew it as well as breathing- but now I could feel their emotional pain too.

I could stop it.

Maybe he was right- maybe this was my true destiny. I was meant to be alone. And I was meant to be the one to stop this. I could finish the Volturi- and I could do every step for Jacob.

"Wait, someone I should meet? Who?"

"Sulpicia."

**So... what do you think? Please tell me what you think of what happened. I'm so sorry I haven't been updating!**

**In case you did miss out the violence, a summary of what happened- she saw a meeting about the violence of the Volturi filmed from over the years, then videos of her being tortured came up. Bella wasn't affected at first but then the recent torture with Jane came up and she became horrified at how she looked when she lost control. There was also some torture of women and children, but Bella wasn't affected. **


	13. Chapter 13 Sulpicia's Story

**Chapter 13**

**Sorry this update is incredibly late (I say that at the start of all my chapters now). I've had most of it written for a while, but I wanted to make it a bit longer before I posted it. I figured maybe you'd prefer a shorter chapter now than a long one in 2020! So this isn't the longest I've ever written, but it'll do. I had no guesses about Sulpicia, no one looked her up and told me, which was a shame but I think you'll like it.**

"_Wait, someone I should meet? Who?" _

"_Sulpicia."_

"Sulpicia? She's still… alive?" I was dumbfounded.

"Of course. And she'd like to speak to you."

"Where is she?"

"In the building. She came from Rome to see you."

"What?"

"She travelled from-"

"Under her own wishes?"

"Of course."

"But, she's… When can I see her?"

"Straight away." Edward reached into his pocket and drew out his phone, and texted something quickly. "She'll come straight up."

I stood up. This was too much to get my head around.

"Do you have to be here?" I asked Edward quietly.

"I should, but I can go outside if you wish." I nodded, and he got up and left. Shortly after, there was a quiet knock at my door.

"Come in." I whispered.

The door opened and a lady walked in. She was beautiful, with long mahogany hair framing her heart-shaped face, and deep brown eyes framed with intricate make-up, and her full lips lined and painted with a beautiful deep shade. She was taller than me, and wore much more sophisticated clothing- sling-back heels with a black dress covered with a white suit jacket, and with any possible flaw in her dark Italian face eradicated with expertly applied make-up, but apart from that, she was identical to me.

I was meeting Sulpicia Romanov- my mother.

Despite her beauty and dress, which spoke volumes about her confidence, she looked just as nervous as I suddenly felt. In fact, her eyes- so much like mine- looked watery. We stood staring at each other, trying to catch up with 18 years in which we hadn't seen each other, for what seemed like an age before she spoke.

"Bella?" Her voice was also exactly like mine, in pitch, tone, accent, edge.

I didn't know how to address her. She wasn't my 'Mom', I'd never had one of those, but I couldn't call her Miss Romanov, either.

"Yes."

"What happened to you?" We asked at the same time. She was looking at my scars- shown openly on my arms by the shirt I was wearing, left from yesterday, and the reopened wound on my leg, where the marks from where I'd dug my nails in last night still remained. I knew my face was probably carrying obvious marks of my sobbing as well- my eyes felt dry and red. I couldn't believe the speed at which things were happening- I had only just learned about my dear Jacob's death, I was being asked to help the people who had kidnapped me against people who had tortured me and killed my Jacob and now I was meeting my mother- the woman who I had believed was dead for years.

"I suppose you need to know everything. Would you sit?" She asked me- in my 'own room'. I sat on my bed. She sat in the chair Jacob and Edward had often sat in.

"I thought you were dead." I stated, trying to keep my voice even. I was having so many conflicting emotions, the only one I could understand was confusion.

"I know. And trust me, it had to be that way. I should start at the beginning.

Just before I was about to leave school, I got kicked out of my parent's home. My father was arrested for selling drugs, and my mother had to go into hospital because she wasn't emotionally stable. My father also had a serious debt problem, so the house and contents were sold to attempt to cover it. All this left me on the streets. I had only had two weeks sleeping on a street corner, though, when I was found. By the Cullen Clan.

I had lost everything. I couldn't go to my private school any more, I didn't have any way of contacting my friends and they made no effort to find me if they had heard what happened- friends and a boyfriend I thought would stick with me through everything. But the Cullens had been watching my father, because he had had dealings with the Volturi before, and they knew of my predicament. And someone mentioned it to Carlisle Cullen.

Carlisle is an amazing man, Bella. He really is. He was still quite young then, and the Cullen Clan had only just really got it's name. But he didn't have the best upbringing either, and he sympathised with me. So he sent out men to find me. At first I managed to elude them, escape them. I thought maybe they were my father's customers or debtors, come to get revenge on him by kidnapping me. So I went into hiding on the streets.

But I still visited my mother. And one day when I went to see her, a month after hiding from the Clan's men, Carlisle was there, waiting for me. He explained what he did, and why there were men looking for me. I didn't trust him. I didn't trust anyone. But he gave me clothes and money, and offered to put me back into school to finish my exams. I kept asking- what's the catch? Who are you? But he said that he knew of my problems, and wanted to help. I asked how, he told me his organisation had been watching my father because they thought he was connected with an organised crime association, by the name of the Volturi. And so he knew about my predicament.

And I was about to refuse when my mother started speaking- and I hadn't heard her talk in the last two months, so it distracted me. She was talking nonsense- she couldn't have understood what I was going through, or what I was having to decide, but it made me think: What have I got to lose? I had nothing- nothing, on the streets, with the possibility of being raped or murdered every night anyway. So I agreed. And he kept his word, he put me back through school, and even offered to put me through university. But by then I'd heard enough about his organisation, and I was grateful to the man who had saved my life, enough to want to be a part of it.

And so, for about three months, I did. But then this opening with the Volturi came up, and it was perfect for me to walk in, as a spy. I was virtually unknown, and I hadn't been with the Cullens long enough that they'd noticed me. And the Cullen Clan weren't as much of a threat to them then anyway. So I slipped into their network, small at first.

But I found I had a way with people. I could get them to listen to me, agree with me and do what I wanted. And that was invaluable. Especially as everyone there barely listened to anyone- it gave me an advantage.

Then I met Aro. He was also, just rising in the organisation. Our promotions and fieldwork were mirroring each other- we were very competitive. And then, two years later, there was the promotion to be in charge. The old 'head' had just been murdered under curious circumstances, and by that stage it was obvious that the replacement was between Aro and I. That's when we started trying to kill each other.

Don't get me wrong, we didn't really hate each other- well, I guess we did- but we both really wanted to get there. It was a life-changing opportunity. So I hired two snipers to trail him and shoot him in the street. Killing your opponents is just the kind of act that promotes you to head of an organisation like the Volturi.

But he outwitted them. And he had bombs placed in my car, he had a stalker follow me, set fire to my apartment etc. I returned his gifts with bribing a fellow employee to stab him- she was thrown out of a window, poor thing- stifling drugs into his home and calling the police- which he bribed away- and one day I even considered somehow getting my gun into work. But we were searched whenever we entered, and they had tightened security so I didn't think it would work.

In the end, he got the promotion, as you know. Had I got it, I would have managed to finish the Volturi. I would've died doing it, I know, but I would've stopped them.

But by then, I had an idea. I heard the Volturi were merging with a Japanese crime agency, after five years of organising it, and thought maybe, if the Cullen Clan tweaked their place in society- they were already sort of freelancers for the government- and started doing the dirtier jobs, the Volturi might be interested in a merge.

So, by my persuasion- he was very reluctant- Carlisle changed the face of the Cullen Clan. Once talk of them had risen within the Volturi, I mentioned merger to Aro. He was immediately very mistrusting- whether of me or them I don't know, but he was very perceptive- he could almost read minds. I always had to be very careful around him. He really didn't want to do it. But I had the rest of the board around my little finger, and within the week they were all pro-merger. It was only him.

He was suspicious about how they had become so powerful over such a short period of time. And in the current climate of political change, they were getting more work than ever. And because it was rumoured that the reasons they always managed to pull off great stunts- that were somehow politically relevant- they guessed that they worked for the government. And this also meant they were extremely well funded- very important for the Volturi, obviously. So he began to consider it. But he was terrified of being double-crossed by them, I think. So I suggested he put his own flesh and blood into a conference room. I had the idea of a child- a Volturi child- being brought up and put in a conference room. A child who would be able to read others like he could, and push everything to the Volturi's advantage.

He began to warm to the idea. A son to carry on the Volturi after him was attractive too, I think. And then he had to think about who would mother the child. Instantly heads looked my way, as if I'd planned it all along. And actually, it sounded perfect to me.

I hadn't fallen in love with Aro, but it was the closest I ever got to falling in love- except for- never mind. Despite his cold nature, the way his mind worked was close to mine, and he was very attractive, and every conversation between us had enough of an edge that sparks flew. And so he, without ever really properly discussing or planning it, slept with me for a while. And it was amazing. You were born from fireworks, Bella.

And so I fell pregnant, in the next month. And suddenly my life was so much more valuable- I had armed guards follow me everywhere. I practically lived in the offices- I didn't want to lose a second of my hard-earned position. Or time with Aro. Because I knew, intuitively, by then that it was coming to an end. I knew I wouldn't last to see my child grow up. And not only was my life more valuable because I was carrying you, but Aro's feelings for me had grown too.

And I think that's why, after I'd had you, there were more and more attempts on my life. I don't think Aro ever wanted me dead then, but he would rather he shot me himself than someone kidnap me and use me to get to him. And that made me hate him more. I didn't… love him any less, but I hated him more. I was so valuable to him, but everyone was worthless to him. He's always been like that. And I think he was paying some of the people who were trying to finish me off. So we decided it was time for me to disappear.

And yes, I was leaving a young baby, a young, innocent baby, in the hands of the Volturi. But if we were ever going to stop the Volturi, it was a necessary step. I think Carlisle started planning then, that you would be kidnapped when you started negotiating, though he didn't tell me. And he also started planning then, I fear, that you would be the tool to bring down the Volturi. I never intended that for you. I always took that to be my own job.

But I didn't manage.

So it seems we really do need you. The Volturi is now a huge organisation, and it seems it won't work to send you back. But you must know enough to help finish them now. I hate to put you in this position, but you've seen what they do, you've, from what I hear, recently been personally affected by their actions… and so you must agree. They must be stopped. And you've- "

She stopped herself, and looked at me searchingly. In concern, or trying to discern my answer I couldn't tell.

I suddenly felt exhausted. As if I'd just lived through all she had without a night of sleep, my heart and mind were still weeping for Jacob, I'd just met my mother who I'd believed was dead for eighteen years… and she was making me decide whether I was going to be the one who would finish the organisation that had created my birth, raised me, controlled my life- a decision I couldn't escape, and I knew that the answer I was unavoidably going to give would end with my demise within the next few months. But I also knew what my mother had been about to say, it hung in the air.

_I didn't have anything left to lose_.

I was aware of her leaving the room, and I gradually sank back off my bed to the floor.

Everything she told me echoed in my ears.

My mother was _alive_. And she worked for the Cullen Clan. She had always worked for the Cullen Clan. I hadn't been born for the merger every day of my childhood prepared me for, with the scars to show for it, I hadn't even been born for the freedom I had begun to feel with Jacob. I had been born to destroy.

Would I ever be happy? Would I ever be able to live a normal life? Love like a normal person, fall in love with someone I could grow old with, have children and worry about normal things like… I couldn't even name any.

But I had a responsibility, somehow. I knew it. Ordinary people, who could have futures I could never have, were in danger every day due to these people. And if I couldn't live that life myself, what could I do but give it to them? Sacrifice my life, which was always going to be wasted anyway, for the sake of those people…

Part of me was saying, _but you don't have a choice anyway_. If I went down to the conference room now, and said I wanted no part of it, what would they do to me? If they threw me out- what did I have? What could I do? Nothing. I'd wonder back to a town on the unfamiliar roads, until I was spotted, identified and killed. They wouldn't, of course. They wanted my help too much. They'd start really pushing me- I wouldn't put it past them to push Edward my way again, to try and manipulate me that way. And if I continued refusing, they might even try torture, which would always be futile with me. Just leave me with more scars.

So I had to do this. And they would kill me. I knew that- I knew the risk, I knew how big this decision was. It didn't hurt or surprise me that even my mother had put me in a position where I would die. The Volturi were huge. Their branches had now spread worldwide, and their agents were everywhere. Killing the Volturi here would just send them somewhere else. But I had to believe I could do it. I had been told a lot about the Volturi, but not the extent. They didn't even trust me enough. But I could deduce a lot. I had my eyes open all the time- there were things I'd worked out, guessed, calculated. I knew I had to- I would one day be part of it. Well, I thought I would.

Once again, I was just a puppet. No choices, driven by the morals of whoever had me within their grasp.

I wondered what I would have to do. Tell them all I knew, certainly. What else?

I wondered what Sulpicia- I couldn't call her Mom in my mind- was telling them. That I was going to say yes? How well did she know me? Had she kept track of me for the last few months, or had she been unaware of everything? Why was I only meeting her now? If I had had a daughter who I'd had to leave, I would spend every day thinking of her, I was sure. And if I knew she had come back into my world- kidnapped or not- I would make every effort to see her.

And now, she had only deigned to appear because I needed persuading to agree with them. The Cullens had played a card against me that I didn't think they had, and I felt manipulated again, just like with Edward. These people might have good intentions, but they treated me like a pawn on a chessboard. Important, in my own way, with powerful potential, but still small and dispensable enough to put on the front line.

But it was what I had to do. I had to decide where my loyalty lay, and give it my all.

Because there was no point dying for nothing.

If I was going to try, I was going to _succeed_.

So I got up, cleaned up in the bathroom, dressed myself in black- to mourn for the years I knew I would now lose- and went down to the conference room. It was empty, but a lady working on a desk nearby said Carlisle's office was in the next building.

I went over, wondering what I was going to say. I knocked lightly on the door with the plaque 'Carlisle Cullen'.

"Come in." I opened the door. Carlisle sat at a desk, his hands folded in front of him. It looked so normal- he could have been a headmaster.

"Good morning, Bella. Please sit down."

"Morning, Carlisle."

"How can I help you?"

"I've been thinking about your… proposition, and as you know, I'm going to accept."

"You are agreeing to helping us to finish the Volturi?"

"Yes." There was a silence. I wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm glad to hear that, Bella. We will start with some strategic meetings, where you will have to answer a lot of questions. You will be involved in planning, and then we will send you for some training. We know you have had training with the Volturi, but we want to know what you can do and what you are good at."

"All right."

"You will stay in the room you are in at the moment, all meetings will take place here. The first one will be tomorrow morning. I'll see you at dinner."

"Will Sulpicia be there?"

"Maybe." He started reading a file on his desk, I was clearly dismissed.

I left, somehow feeling shaky and broken. Had I just agreed to die? Had I just submitted myself to one of the powers that had always driven my life- unbeknown to me?

But it wasn't like I had anything to live for. My Jacob was the only possible turn my life could have taken which would have taken me out of this situation, but his death seemed to end that- and with him any possibilities that I could have turned away. Like his death had been driven by fate. And true, the proposition had finally arrived only a day after I heard of his death. And then I had met my mother- by she wasn't anything to live for either. She had only just come to meet me- even after being kidnapped the first time by her own organisation, and had only done so to persuade me to do something which would support her own interests. Something that would also kill me.

But I had so rarely broken down in my life- twice actually- that to feel this horrible shaky sensation, like I was about to crumble, was horrible. My head was incredibly light and my eyes couldn't focus on anything and my head was lolling around. I was exhausted and emotionally I was the equivalent of someone who had just been whirred in a blender.

Then I lurched forward. My eyes closed so I heard the thud as my head hit the floor rather than feeling or seeing it.

When I awoke it was pitch black, and I wasn't on the floor any more. I was on my bed, and there was a familiar figure in the chair.

"Edward?" I slurred sleepily. He immediately moved to the bedside.

"Do you feel all right?" He murmured. I felt too weak to push him away- he was too close.

"Mm…" I replied foggily. He touched my forehead gently- I flinched back at first, but his hands were comfortingly cold. I must have hit my head quite hard.

"I think you should eat something, Bella. You missed dinner and you might have concussion."

"I'm… just tired. I'm fine…" I whispered, sleep pulling over me again.

"Come on, Bella, wake up. You need to eat."

"No…" I mumbled, trying to turn away from him but all my limbs being too heavy.

"If you don't sit up and wake up, I'll _make_ you." I giggled slightly at that, keeping my eyes shut.

"Fine." He replied. I didn't even respond, my eyes feeling weighted by my mind and holding shut. They opened pretty fast when I felt his lips on my cheek. I looked straight into his eyes, angry.

"Come on, up. Or I'll do worse than that." My eyes widened, knowing he had me. So I tried to get up, but I could barely move. He misinterpreted my stillness, and moved forward but I managed to move away, muttering,

"I'm getting up, wait a second." With effort, I propped myself up on the bed. He reached over to the windowsill, where there was a plate of food. I was so out of it I didn't even register what it was. I could barely pick it up with my fingers. Edward's hand closed over mine, and he fed me with his other. I couldn't protest or move away.

And I suppose, somewhere deep down, I appreciated someone trying to care for me.

**So I'll try to post the next chapter soon- but all my readers know I'm not the best at that. However, reviews are really good motivation- I've posted this because of ****TheRealSlytherinPrincess****'s five reviews, and Batman Keda's recent review which told me I hadn't been forgotten. Thank you guys!**

**Also, ****TheRealSlytherinPrincess**** said that, for the last chapter 'Me without you' by Ashley Tisdale really goes with the second half- she's right! And if you're not a HSM fan (like me- sorry, but I hate it) it's nothing like that, it's a great song. So please re-read that chapter, listening to it. **

**If anyone else has any music suggestions or thoughts, please tell me them. Please review this! Seriously, if you want more updates, I just need to have more support- there's nothing like pouring your heart into writing something to find it's not enough to connect to readers. **


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